I'll Take It By Your Side
by Srellet
Summary: AU Han and Leia struggle to get through a difficult event.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1:

Princess Leia twisted the zipper of her quilted vest as she watched the snow speeder pull into the hanger. She heard the report that Han and Luke were found. Instead of feeling relief and gratitude that her dearest friends were found, a knot of dread filled her otherwise empty stomach. The pilots climbed down the ladder, but she didn't see Han or Luke. She began to chew on her bottom lip.

Then, with some assistance, Han appeared caked in snow. He glanced over his shoulder, and Chewbacca whooped louder than he ever had during the time Leia knew him. Chewbacca rushed over to his frozen friend, but Leia stayed cemented to where she stood. Han's eyes searched hers out, but once they made contact he quickly looked away. He whispered something in Chewie's ear. Then he turned to his rescuers and shook his head.

Leia crossed her arms over her chest as a sudden chill ran through her entire body. Han reached the frozen ground and patted Chewie's arm. Then he slowly hobbled toward Leia, but he didn't look at her face. When he was two meters in front of her he stared down at her boots.

"I was worried about you," she whispered. "You don't know how relieved I am to see that you made it back safe."

Han raised his hazel eyes to hers. She didn't smile or embrace him, and her face was almost as white as the snow around them. She knew, but he also knew that he had to say it out loud. He inhaled, "Luke…he didn't make it. He was already…" he sighed, "I was too late."

Leia remained poised and emotionless. She nodded her head, "You did the best you could. It was very brave you…"

"I'm so sorry," he muttered, but he knew it was hollow.

"You need to go to the med center to make sure you're okay," she answered.

"I think I'll just warm myself up with a bottle of Corellian brandy," Han's eyes searched out the _Falcon_.

"After you get checked out," she ordered. Then her large dark eyes scanned his body, "Please."

_Please_? Han couldn't remember if Leia ever said please to him. He nodded, "Okay." He turned away from her then stopped. He looked over his shoulder and gazed at her back. He ran a hand through his hair. Her lack of any reaction to Luke's death and his own grief over the loss of friend made his heart heavy, and the pain was almost unbearable. All he wanted to do was disappear into the _Falcon_ and deal with his pain, but he would go to the med center as Leia asked.

"Hey, Princess," Han called out. "Care to join me for that drink?"

She didn't face him, "Sorry. I have pressing things that need to get done."

_Of_ _course_, he frowned. Many would gossip about the princess' cold reaction to Luke's death and be mortified that she went right back to her usual business immediately after she heard the news. But Han knew differently. He saw her after she witnessed the destruction of her home world. She threw herself into her duties and kept as busy as she could. Why would she react any differently to the news of the death of a dear friend?

"If you change your mind, the invitation still stands," he called out. Then he headed down the corridor leading to the med center.

Chewbacca walked over to the princess. He wailed quietly and patted her arm. He wanted to envelop her in his arms, but he could sense she didn't want to be any comforting. He then continued on, following Han.

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Han opened the bottle of brandy but didn't fill the glasses on the holotable. Chewbacca made some vague excuse and disappeared into his cabin. His jaw tightened, for he knew Chewie was mourning Luke's death. Chewbacca was never one to show his emotions, even in front of Han. He absentmindedly wondered if Wookie's shed tears when they cry.

He looked at the three glasses resting on the table. He knew Leia wouldn't come. Now he just had to wait for Chewie to reappear. He picked up one glass and twisted it around in his hand but didn't look at it. A numb emptiness settled in his bones. None of this seemed real. Yes, they were in the middle of a war, and every time Luke stepped into his X-Wing there was always a chance he wouldn't come back. But he always did. He, Chewie, Luke, and Leia escaped the Death Star unscathed. He felt they all were immune to death, invincible. He just couldn't comprehend that Luke was dead.

But he was. Han tried for an hour to revive his frozen friend. He cut open his dead tauntaun and shoved Luke into its still warm belly. Then Han performed CPR. He hoped that the cold would have slowed Luke's vital signs and would have made it possible to breathe life back into his young friend's body. Han continued working on Luke for almost an hour before he no longer had the strength to continue. He logically knew that Luke had passed away some time before Han found him, but he just couldn't accept it.

Han stumbled to his feet and constructed the emergency shelter. He then dragged Luke's lifeless body into the shelter with him. He covered Luke's body despite his need to keep warm. Part of Han hoped that he'd freeze to death out there just like Luke. But then Chewie's and Leia's face flashed before him. Chewie needed Han as much as Han needed him. And Leia…Leia. He couldn't bear the thought of anyone besides himself telling her of Luke's death. He couldn't imagine her dealing with their loss alone.

Solo put down the glass and recapped the brandy. He stood up and walked toward the ramp. He leaned his head toward the corridor, "Hey, Chewie. I'm gonna step out for a while."

Han forgot to throw on his coat, and he shivered as the cold atmosphere assaulted him. The mood in the hangar was somber, and none of the usual chatter and shouting sounded out. Luke's death would affect most of those on the base. His death would impact other rebels at bases far away. Luke was the rebellion's hero and a fledging Jedi, but a Jedi nonetheless in the eyes of the rebels. He was their hope.

All hope was dead.

Han reached his destination without knowing how he got there. Han scanned the Command Center but didn't find the person he was looking for. He shoved his hands in his back pockets and approached the closest rebel. The woman wore earphones, and her eyes were focused on the screen before her. Han tapped her shoulder.

The woman removed her headphones as she turned her attention to him, "Captain Solo. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you know where the princess is."

"Her shift ended an hour ago," the woman's eyes returned to the screen. "She didn't say where she was going."

"Thanks," he mumbled as he exited the Command Center.

Han ran his bottom lip between his teeth. There weren't too many places Leia would be if she wasn't at the Command Center. He glanced as his chronometer. It was too late for any meetings to be taking place. Han rubbed his hands together as he walked toward the crew quarters. The corridor was poorly lit and somewhat colder than the Command Center. Han refused a room of his own on the base. He didn't want people to get the wrong idea. He was not a member or the Rebel Alliance. Besides, he preferred the warmth and safety of the _Falcon_.

Solo stopped in front of a lone door at the end of the corridor. He placed a hand on the cold door and leaned close, but he couldn't hear anything. Perhaps she wasn't there. Han scratched the back of his head. She had to be there. He forced air out of his nose as he knocked on the door.

He waited, but no one answered. He stepped back and turned to leave. Leia obviously wanted to be alone. Who was he to intrude on her? Who was he to her?

Han stopped and faced the door. Luke comforted her after the destruction of Alderaan. He spoke softly to her, inciting a small smile from her and a hug. Luke was always there when she needed comfort. Luke always seemed to know what was going through her head and what to say to ease her pain. Han didn't have a clue about what he'd say if she opened the door.

But he decided that he wouldn't let it stop him. He approached the door with hesitant steps and knocked again. Again, no response. He stared at the key pad for a moment. Although Leia rarely made mistakes, there could be a slim chance she forgot to lock the door. If it was locked, Han decided he'd go back to the _Falcon_ and drink that bottle of Corellian brandy. If it was unlocked…

The door slid open a second after he pushed the enter key. Inside, Leia lied on her bed in the fetal position still wearing her snow gear. Her hands were between her knees, and she rocked back and forth. She didn't yell at him for intruding, nor did she look at him. Han clenched his jaw to squelch the bubble of emotions that threatened to overtake him. He walked over to her beside.

"Hey Leia?" Han touched her shoulder.

The princess ceased rocking, but she still didn't look at him.

Han ran a hand over his face until it rested over his mouth and chin. Seeing her like this…this had been a lot harder than he thought it would be. But then he never expected her to be catatonic. He touched her arm again with a firmer hand.

"Hey, Sweetheart?"

Still no response. Han glanced at the door. He could take her to the med center. He could walk out and leave.

"Hey, Your Worship."

Leia turned her head toward him but said nothing.

"Here," he reached out and grabbed her arms. "Why don't you sit up for me?"

Leia let him help her into an upright position. She turned her large brown eyes up to him and opened her mouth as if she was going to speak. But no sound came from her. Han expected to see signs that she had been crying, but he only saw pain in those dry eyes.

"It's okay to cry," he whispered.

She lowered her eyes, and he felt as if she was dismissing him.

Well, she wasn't going to get rid of him that easily. He took hold of the edges of her vest and began slipping it off of her, "Why don't we make you more comfortable."

Leia didn't stop him. Han knelt down before her and removed each of her boots. Then he bit the inside of his cheek. He grabbed the zipper of her snow suit. He hoped that she would react with an irate and indignant assault of words, but she didn't. Han slowly pulled the zipper down hoping she had something on beneath the heavy suit. It felt wrong to see what he dreamed of at this place and time. He was relieved to find that she wore thermals underneath.

Han pushed back the right side of her snow suit and gently pulled her arm out of the sleeve. Then he repeated his actions on the left side. He placed her hands on his shoulders and helped her to a standing position. He slipped the snow suit down off of her hips and sat her down again. He removed the rest of the suit before stepping back.

"You mind if I undo your hair?" Han lowered his chin to get a look into her eyes. Leia shook her head and slid around so Han had easier access to her hair.

Han rubbed his chin as he tried to figure out where to start. Spotting a hair pin near the nape of her neck, he decided to start there. Once that first pin was removed, Han's confidence grew, and soon he had a handful of hair pins. Leia ran her hand through her hair, untangling the braids. She turned around to face him. Han blinked at the sight of her with her wavy hair and thermals. And Leia had allowed _him_ to dress her down to this point. He dropped the hairpins on the desk and his eyes fell upon her hands.

The right side of Han's mouth rose into a half smile, "I suppose we should remove your gloves."

Leia looked down at her hands. Han picked up one hand and pulled the tips of her fingers until the glove slipped off. After he removed the other glove, Han pulled back the edges of her bed clothing and helped her under them. Han tucked the blankets around her body and made sure she was covered up to her chin. He glanced around until his eyes fell upon the cabinet above her desk. He knew she had sleeping pills and some anti-anxiety pills in her room. Han was quite aware of her insomnia and anxiety attacks even though she tried to hide such things from him and everyone else.

He opened the cabinet and found what he was looking for. He then took the glass he found next to the pills and disappeared into the refresher to retrieve some water.

He re-emerged and carried it over to Leia's bedside. He tried to put some cheer into his voice but failed miserably, "Can you sit up for me, Sweetheart?"

To his surprise, she did what he asked. Han dropped one anxiety pill into his hand and gave both the glass of water and pill to the princess. She popped the pill in her mouth and took a gulp of water. Han then shook two sleeping pills into his hand. He paused for a moment, wondering if two were too much. Then he handed her both of the pills. Leia had a high tolerance for drugs, and he wanted her to relax and sleep.

The princess handed the glass back to him and slipped under the covers. Han dragged the desk chair closer to her bedside and sat down.

"Why don't I stay for a bit until you fall asleep?"

Leia's large brown eyes gazed into his, and Han figured she'd object to his offer.

"If you want," she whispered before she closed her eyes and rolled to face the wall.

Han slouched in the chair and moved around until he found a relatively comfortable position. He figured Leia would quickly fall asleep, and he would then slip out and finish off that bottle of brandy.

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Han sat up with a start. He glanced around the dark room as he tried to get his bearings. His eyes settled on the sleeping princess who now lied on her back with her face turned toward him. Upon seeing her, the day's events flooded his mind until one heart-wrenching event overshadowed all his other thoughts. Luke was dead, and he couldn't fix it. Perhaps if he waited for him, maybe went with him to check the meteorite. Why didn't he do that?

Leia's breath came slow and steady. There was something in her features, the way her mouth was slightly open, the shape of her closed eyes that reminded him of Luke. Maybe he was just imagining it, seeing Luke everywhere. He bent over and rested his head against the bed.

And then it happened. At first Han tried to hold it in. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and held his breath for as long as he could. But he could hold it in no longer, and the bridge broke. Han's tears flowed slowly, but it didn't take him long to slip into angry, gasping sobs, and he cried as he never had before. And once his grief flowed out of him, he didn't think he would ever stop.

A hand fell upon his head. Han looked up to see Leia kneeling on her bed before him. Her hand slid from his head to his shoulder. Han inhaled, but he still couldn't contain his emotions. Her other hand touched his face, and she used her thumbs to wipe off his tears despite the fact her efforts didn't do much. She then enveloped him in her arms, pulling him close. Han crumpled against her, burying his face in her shoulder. Leia squeezed him tight and rested her head on his shoulder.

Han shook violently in her arms so Leia held him closer. He didn't even know he would react to Luke's death so strongly. Luke was a friend, an idealistic, somewhat naïve, loyal friend. Han never had a friend like him. Han never deserved to have a friend like him. But that didn't matter to Luke. Luke hung on, followed him around, and sought Han's company like a puppy. Why? Han never understood.

But that unconditional friendship was gone now that Luke died. Why did Han stay so long? Maybe he stayed because Luke inspired him to be a better man. Just think. Han was more realistic about how the Universe worked. Still he had become quite attached to the young boy in a way he never had to anyone before. Not even to Bria. Han shuddered and pushed that woman out of his head. Han felt as if he had to watch over Luke, keep him out of trouble. But he failed.

The princess' hand caressed the hair on the back of his head, and Han buried his tears deeper into her should her. He got the impression that this petite girl was holding _him_ up. Wasn't he here to comfort her? One hand stayed secure and unmoving around his neck while the other moved down his head and to his back. She moved her hand slowly up and down his back. His tears slowed but his thoughts spoke loud in his head, louder than his respiration. Luke was dead and Han lost all control of himself.

She clung to him, holding him as he broke down. Han's tears once again flowed uncontrollably, and he pressed his mouth against her shoulder so he could stifle the screams threatening to escape. Luke wasn't the only one he was mourning. His tears were also for the tiny princess in his arms. Leia's attachment to Luke was strong. They fell into an easy friendship. Luke's death was just one more jolting blow to her shell. She didn't deserve anymore hurt nor anymore loss.

But they were smack in the middle of a war, and despite their victory against the Death Star, the rebels were on the losing side. Leia risked her life on stupid missions, in Han's opinion. She took too many chances, and on more than one occasion Han managed to rescue her in the last minute. However, it didn't matter how many missions she participated in. Just living on an Alliance base was enough to put her in danger.

Han sighed and tightened his hold on her. He could lose her just like Luke. An icy cold hand crushed his heart as he imagined her cold and lifeless like Luke. Han couldn't bear that. His attachment to the fiery princess was different than that to Luke, but it was just as strong. Maybe stronger? He felt more protective of her, perhaps because of all the pain she endured when her home world was destroyed.

No, it wasn't just that. Leia had slipped into his heart without him knowing it until it was too late. He didn't know how or when it happened, but it happened. Han tried to gulp down his tears. _If Luke could die, Leia could._ Despite her strength, her selflessness, her determination, none of that would keep her alive. No, all those traits only guaranteed her an early death. She was too young, too young…just like Luke. She felt so small and fragile in his arms. He couldn't always be there to keep her safe. He couldn't even comfort her.

Han reigned in his rogue tears and pulled away from the princess. He wiped at his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Sorry," he mumbled as his eyes roamed the room.

Leia released him and sank back down on the bed.

"I should get going," he stood up.

"No."

Han rested his hands on his hips as he gazed upon Leia. His tears didn't incite a single one from her. He felt embarrassed and weak in her presence.

His eyes widened, "You want me to stay?"

She was quiet for a moment. She sighed, "You look like you need to stay."

Han frowned. He didn't know how to process her words. Was she asking him to stay because she wanted him to stay but couldn't say so? Or was it that she really believed he needed to stay? He took a couple of slow breaths and thought about it. Maybe they both needed each other at this moment.

Han glanced at the door, "Whaddya think people will think and say?"

Leia's eyes gazed upon the door as well, "I don't care."

Han's brow knitted. Leia wasn't the Leia he thought he knew. But then she hadn't lost a close friend in three years. And Luke was the closest friend she had.

Maybe it was a good idea that he stayed with her. She had to break down some time, and Han wanted to be there for her like she was for him. He removed his jacket and slipped his boots off. Then he unhooked his holster and placed it on her desk.

Leia held a cupped hand out to him. Han stared at her hand for a moment before reaching for the sleeping pills. He hesitated, wondering how he knew what she wanted. But a cupped hand wasn't that hard to read. Han chewed the inside of his cheek as he debated whether or not to give her another. However, it was obvious the first two weren't strong enough to keep her asleep. He obliged her.

She took the pill, swallowing it without water this time and then slid closer to the wall. Han lifted the covers and climbed in next to her. They both lied on their backs staring up at the ceiling.

"Nothing will ever be the same," Han whispered into the dark.

Leia said nothing.

"I don't know how we all can go on," Han quietly confessed.

"We have no choice," Leia answered, and she rolled to her side so that she faced the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2:

Solo slowly opened his eyes to a brightly lit room. The automated lighting system replaced the natural light the base didn't have being that it was buried under a few kilograms of snow. The system was meant to keep the rebels on schedule. It could be overridden, but neither Han nor Leia thought of that the night before.

Han rolled to his back and groaned. He felt as if he finished off the cheapest Dantooine beer and chased it down with a couple of bottles of Tatooine tequila. He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. He definitely wasn't drinking last night, but he wished he had. He'd probably feel better than he did at the moment. Han slowly sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

Then his eyes fell upon the sleeping girl next to him. Leia was almost as pale as Luke when Han found him, and his breath caught in his throat. He gazed upon her lips, which were rosy not blue. He tried to push his fears to the back of his mind and tried to focus on the fact that he had never seen her sleeping in her own bed next to him. She wasn't an epitome of death, he reassured himself. Rather, she looked just the opposite, an angelic being too beautiful to be mortal. _But she is mortal…_

Han shivered. Maybe it was time for him to leave. After all, it was Han's policy to leave before his conquest woke up. But Leia wasn't a conquest. Still, after last night's emotional breakdown, Han really had no desire to face her. He reached out for his holster, and his fingers fell upon the hair pins that he had pulled out of the princess' hair the night before. Han's fingers froze. He dropped his elbows to his knees. A stifled groan escaped his lips as he buried his head in his hands. He should have left a long time ago, before he became attached to Luke, before...

He lifted his head, twisted around, and took another look at the sleeping princess. Her stillness brought to mind the night he spent sleeping next to Luke's lifeless body. Logically, he knew she was just sleeping, and sleeping peacefully at that. But knowing that didn't stop his chest from constricting. He shifted his body so that he was facing her. He watched her intently, willing her to move. But Leia did no such thing.

However, enchanting she may have looked, Han's fears only increased as he gazed upon her. He could wake her, but he still wasn't sure he wanted to be there when she woke up. He reached out and touched her forehead, then retracted his hand as if he'd been burnt. Her skin was cool. Han leaned over her and pressed his ear against her chest, just as he did when he found Luke. Han relaxed slightly as her strong heartbeat resonated through his entire body. Her lungs moved air with a rhythm all its own. Han listened to her life signs for almost a minute before he sat up.

But that wasn't enough for him. He rested his elbows on either side of her head. He then held his cheek close to her mouth and nose, just as he did when he found Luke. Han slowly inhaled as he felt a whisper of warmth against his skin. However, he wanted more than just that slight sign of life. He wanted more assurance despite all the positive signs he found. Han turned his head so that he looked at her. His face was centimeters from her, and his lips hovered over hers. He closed his eyes as he inhaled her breath over and over and over…

Han pulled back. He felt as if he was losing his mind. He had to get out of there. But then as he sat upright, he noticed that a wavy trail of tears slipped from the corner of her eyes and soaked into her pillow. He pressed his lips together. Leia cried in her sleep. At least she did let out her grief, even if it wasn't freely shared with Han. Han gingerly wiped away her tears and found that they still flowed. He pulled the covers so that she was adequately covered. Perhaps that would warm her skin up. His instincts screamed at him to run out of that room and never look back. He let out a sigh. Then Han deactivated the lights, lied down on his back next to her, and stared at the ceiling.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3:

Han wasn't sure how much time passed before Leia awoke. She sat up, supporting herself on both hands. Her head hung down, and her wavy hair covered her face. She lifted one hand from the pillow, rubbed her eyes, and yawned twice. Then she tipped her head back, shaking it slightly to push her hair out of her line of vision.

Han sat up and watched her. He had no idea what to say or do. He wasn't sure how she was going to react to his presence, but he was glad he stayed until she woke. He just had to see her…alive.

Leia turned her face toward him. They looked at each other for a moment. Then Han inhaled, "Morning."

She nodded her head and pulled her knees to her chest.

"How you feelin'?"

Leia blinked, "Cold."

Han ran a hand through his hair and looked around her small room.

Leia watched him, "You're not okay." He shook his head. "Me too," she quietly admitted.

_And I don't know how to fix that_, Han grimaced. He grabbed his boots and pulled them on, "I should go see how Chewie's doin'." He stood and snapped on his holster. He grabbed his jacket then looked at her.

She rested her head on her knees and stared off into nowhere. Han didn't know what to do. But then again, was there anything he could do?

"See ya' later," he slipped on his jacket and turned toward the door.

Leia caught his hand, and Han stopped. She gazed into his eyes, "Thank you."

Han nodded and gave her a slight sorrowful smile. She let go and he rushed out of her room.

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Princess Leia entered the conference room, and voices hushed and eyes fell upon her. Her anger gurgled in her gut at the sight of the pity looks thrown her way. Luke wasn't just her friend. He was well-liked by everyone who met him, including every single member of the High Command. Luke's death wasn't just her loss like Alderaan.

"Please continue your discussion," Leia commanded as she took her seat at the round table.

"Perhaps you should take some time…"

"For what?"

All eyes except Reeiken's fell to the tabletop. Leia held Reeiken's gaze, and he gave her a slight nod.

"We were discussing Commander Skywalker's memorial service," he explained. "We think it's fitting that he has his own service, for the troops."

"That seems reasonable."

The discussion resumed, but Leia didn't pay attention much. Instead, she was distracted by the temperature of the room. Despite two pairs of thermals under her snow gear, she couldn't shake the cold that seemed to have settled in her bones. She hunched over, trying to pull her body close together in an attempt to warm herself.

"There is one more issue," Commander Selio started and then stopped. "Perhaps it's something that General Reeiken and I can handle."

"What is it, Commander?" Leia sat up straight.

"Well…" he cleared his throat, "There's the matter of Commander Skywalker's…uh…remains."

Leia swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat. She hadn't thought about Luke other than in terms of her loss. Most of the rebels who died were vaporized in space, and those who died on the battlefield, if they were able to be retrieved, were cremated.

Commander Selio continued when Leia didn't say anything, "Well, we don't have the means to create a funeral pyre here on Hoth."

The princess nodded. Luke was the first rebel to lose his life on Hoth. She wasn't sure anyone foresaw how they would deal with the deaths of their comrades. But then, no one wanted to think about death.

General Reeiken started to reach out toward Leia, but quickly retracted his hand, "I think we can figure something out, Commander."

"Perhaps we should adjourn this meeting. We can resume at 17:00 hours after dinner."

Leia waited for a few people to get up before she did despite the fact that the room felt as if it was closing in on her. She pushed her chair in and rubbed her hands together. She had only one thing on her mind: Luke. She headed toward the door.

"Your Highness."

Her eyes snapped shut, "Yes, General?"

"I was wondering if you have a moment," Reeiken asked.

Leia turned around, "Actually, I'm going to see if I can find some warmer gloves in surplus."

Reeiken frowned, "Can it wait?"

Leia looked at her hands, "No. I can't get any work done with my fingers frozen stiff."

"Very well."

Leia whirled around and took quick steps out of the room without bidding the General good-bye.

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Solo sat in the pilot's seat of the _Millennium Falcon_, staring out the canopy. He was helping Chewie with repairs, but his mind kept wandering. Chewie suggested that he take a break.

A break. He didn't need a break. However, after burning himself for the fifth time, he took up Chewie's suggestion. He had thought about spending a few hours with that bottle of Corellian brandy, but there still were a lot of repairs to be done and he didn't have time to be drunk.

So why was he sitting in the cockpit? Han swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump in his throat. He couldn't get Luke's frozen face out of his mind. He feared that it would be something that would haunt him the rest of his life. His eyes fell upon the tip of an X-Wing parked near the _Falcon_. Han rubbed his eyes. Maybe if he was far away from here, he'd forget. If anything, he wouldn't be reminded of his fallen friend everywhere he looked.

Han dropped his hand from his eyes and one of the biggest reminders of Luke was square in his view. She held her arms tight across her body, and Han could tell from where he was that she was cold. She took long but shaky strides across the hangar. Han watched her give a polite nod to those she passed, but she didn't wear her usual royal-greeting expression. Most likely they were expressing their condolences.

Han snorted. That was the last thing she needed to endure. Han rubbed his chin. As much as he hurt for her each time someone approached her, he wasn't going to do anything about it. She should have stayed somewhere private, like him. He was likely to punch out some poor sap who only meant well. So where was Leia going?

Solo twisted his head toward the direction the princess was heading. There wasn't much over there except storage and…

"Damn!"

Solo flew out of the cockpit and down the ramp as he through on his coat. Chewbacca growled.

"I'll be right back!" Han answered as he pushed his way through rebel personnel.

The princess turned down the west wing, and Han silently cursed. He picked up his pace, taking quick long strides. He managed to catch up to her just as she reached the ominous gray doors.

"Hey."

Leia jumped with a start before she turned around. She rubbed her hands together, "What are you doing here?"

"I was just about to ask you that."

Leia turned back toward the door but said nothing.

Han rubbed his neck as he glanced down at the top of the girl's head. He sighed and closed his eyes, "You're gonna regret it."

"I…I just have to," Leia dropped her head.

"No, you don't," Han grabbed her arm. "Come on. I'll make you some tea."

Although she didn't yank her arm out of his grip, she did look into his face. Her large dark eyes were dull and tired as if the life in her was slowly seeping away. Luke's dead eyes flashed through his mind. Han released her and took a couple of steps away from her.

The princess activated the security pad and the doors parted. Han whirled around. He couldn't let her do this.

"Leia…"

She stayed frozen under the doorframe but didn't look at him.

"You're gonna regret it."

"You don't know—"

"Yes, I do!" Han put a hand on her shoulder. "It'll haunt you."

"I didn't get to…" Leia sucked in a ragged breath. "Alderaan…my father…"

"If Luke died in battle in his X-Wing," Han touched the top of her head and slowly slid his hand down to her neck, "he wouldn't…he would've been vaporized."

"But he didn't."

Han dropped his hand, defeated. The princess stepped into the room, leaving Han outside. Her stomach flipped and curled around itself as she glanced around the room. It was cold, colder than any other part of the base, but then there really was no reason to warm it. Leia's eyes fell upon a covered form lying on a table at the far end of the room. She pulled the collar of her vest up and closed the zipper. Leia then walked to the occupied table, taking unsure steps. It seemed as if it took her a lifetime to cross the room, but before she felt ready to do what she came for, she had reached her destination.

Leia stared at the covered form, watching her breath fog her view as she exhaled. Then she grabbed the edge of the cloth and slowly pulled it back, revealing a mop of sandy blonde hair. She took a couple of breaths before pulling the cover back further. She didn't stop until Luke's face was revealed. At first she looked at his neck and dropped her chin when she found that he was still wearing his snow suit. _That'll keep him warm._

Leia finally moved her eyes to her dearest friend's face. Luke's cheeks were sunken and his skin was an ashy gray. She slipped off a gloved and placed his fingers on his blue lips. Cold, but she couldn't tell if it was him or her own frozen fingers that she was feeling. Her hand hovered over his face for a few seconds before she touched his eyelids. Leia bit her bottom lip as she slipped his eyelids back. Milky blue eyes stared up at the ceiling. She stared at him for a while, half expecting him to look at her. Leia exhaled slowly, but when she went to inhale, the cold air refused to enter her lungs. She stood at Luke's side, silently gasping for breath.

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Han paced at the mouth of the west wing. He wanted to leave her there, let her suffer the consequences of her actions. But something kept him from abandoning her. He shook his head, pushing down the bile that threatened to overtake him. Leia was taking too long. Han grunted. He wasn't going to go in there. He absolutely wasn't going to go in. He didn't need to see Luke…like that, again. He just couldn't bear it.

Han doubled over and emptied the contents of his stomach. Why hadn't she come out yet? He wretched again, fighting the urge to drop to his knees. He panted and shut his eyes tight in an attempt to regain control of his body. Han straightened and glanced toward the morgue. The door was still open, but there was no sign of the princess.

"Krest!"

Solo stomped down the corridor and into the room with the intention of dragging her out of that room.

"Leia!"

She didn't turn around. Han clenched his teeth and went to her side. He groaned as he saw that Luke's lifeless eyes were open, just like when Han found him. Han pushed Luke's eyes closed and covered his face. Then he turned to Leia.

"Leia!"

Leia's mouth hung open and her lips were blue. Her eyes were unfocused and she didn't notice his presence.

Han grabbed both of her arms and shook her hard. "Leia! Breathe, come on. Breathe for me," he found himself repeating the same words he said to Luke.

He then slapped her cheek, not as hard as he did Luke out in the blizzard, "Breathe, damn it!" But he didn't expect it to work. _It didn't work for Luke._ She was going to die. He was going to lose her too. He shook her again.

Leia started coughing and gulping air faster than she could expel it. Han pulled her to his chest, wrapped his arms around her, and closed his eyes. He thought he was immune to the horrors and truths of the galaxy, but this…this was all too much. He was going to break if he didn't escape.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4:

Han stood at the entrance of the Command Center and watched the activity unnoticed. His stomach sank when he heard something about a droid near the sensors Han and Luke placed days ago. _Luke…_ He couldn't help but wonder how long Luke was out there before he…Han shook his head and listened to the intense discussion taking place. Wedge and Jenkins managed to destroy it, but Threepio couldn't identify the code before the two Rogue pilots blasted it to pieces. Han found Leia amongst a few members of the High Command as they argued about the significance of that rogue droid, most likely one of theirs. Leia rubbed her arms and stomped her feet every so often but didn't participate in the conversation. Then she looked in his direction. Han hadn't seen her since their visit to the morgue. She looked even paler and thinner than he remembered, though it had to be only a few days ago. He dropped his eyes and then searched out the man he to whom he came to speak.

"General," Han cleared his voice.

"Solo," Reeiken patted the younger man on the shoulder. "What can I do for you?"

"Um…" Han winced, "I gotta leave. I can't stay any longer."

General Reeiken frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well, if I don't pay of Jabba the Hutt I'm a dead man."

"A death marks not an easy thing to live with," Reeiken nodded. "I hate to lose you. You're a good man."

"Thank you, General," Han turned away as fast as he could. He definitely didn't feel like a good man, or person at that. All he felt like was a failure. It'll be good for him to get back to what he knew best: smuggling and hustling. Just Chewie and him and the wide expansive space.

As Han turned he caught the piercing gaze of a lone figure.

Leia stood alone in the middle of the Command Center. All of her colleagues had dispersed and were busy with other activities. She looked lost among the hustle and bustle, but no one seemed to take notice of her. That seemed to be happening a lot lately. Han slipped his ungloved hands into his back pockets as he approached the expectant princess.

He stopped in front of her, "It's time for me to go."

Leia nodded, "Just heard."

Han opened his mouth but found no words. The hatred that swirled in those large dark eyes that stared up at him chilled him. He snapped his mouth shut and crossed his arms over his chest. What did he ever do to deserve her disdain? _Luke…_ He relaxed his stance and sighed, "You knew this day would come."

"You reminded me enough times."

Han shook his head, "Well, take care of yourself," he turned on his heel and stalked out of the Command Center.

The princess hugged herself as she watched him go. He was walking away, _leaving,_ this time forever. It wasn't a surprise. Or rather, it shouldn't have been. But Leia got used to him being an antagonizing fixture on the base. _In her life._ Was he really going to leave just like that?

Before she registered what she was doing, she rushed out of the Command Center and down the South Passage, doing her best not to slip.

"Han!"

Han stopped, "Yes, Your Worshipfulness?"

She gazed upon him with large glassy eyes. Her mouth opened and closed before she managed to squeeze out one word that didn't seem at all sufficient, "Why?"

Her trembling, fragile-looking state made Han hate himself more than he ever had in his life. _More than she hated him._ "You cold?"

She nodded, "You didn't answer my question."

"You didn't find anything suitable in supply?"

"Han," Leia exhaled a puff of air. "Answer me."

"I have to pay off Jabba," Han glanced down at her feet, which she discreetly moved around as if to warm her toes.

"Now?"

"Better time than any," Han blurted out.

The princess' face blanched and she took two steps back.

Han took a step toward her, "You look like you caught a chill. Maybe you should go to the informatory."

"What about…" she looked away before she could face him, "...Luke's... memorial service."

Han walked away, "Not my thing."

"He'd want you there." _I want you there_. Leia followed him._ I can't do it alone._

"He's not gonna know the difference!"

_I will,_ her lips parted, but her thoughts would remain unspoken. Princess Leia watched Han disappear down the passage. She hugged herself tight as a burning chill ran through her. Despite the chill, she felt as if the ice below her was melting.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5:

Han Solo pounded the hydrospanner against the panel in frustration. Why couldn't anything ever go right for him?

Chewbacca grunted as he tentatively approached his best friend. Han glanced at Chewie and stood up, "Why aren't you working on the hyperdrive?"

Chewie folded his arms and spoke softly. Han's voice gained volume, "I told ya'. I'm not goin'!"

A soft whine from Chewie incited an exasperated response from Han, "We've been puttin' off payin' Jabba way too long. And no, it can't wait for some stupid memorial service."

This time Chewbacca responded sternly. Han threw the hydrospanner. "I don't care if it's for the princess herself. I'm not goin'. Now, get back to work so we can get outa here."

Chewie sighed and growled slowly. Han retrieved the hydrospanner. "Fine. Go. I'll do all the work."

Chewbacca opened his mouth but decided not to start an argument. He bid Solo farewell. Han waved a hand without looking at his friend, "Yeah, yeah. I know where it is, but I'm not goin' so leave it alone!"

And that's what Chewbacca did. Han watched his best friend head toward the mess hall, the only place large enough to accommodate those who wanted to pay their respects to their fallen hero. The only rebels not attending the service, Han noticed were those on security duty. Still, the absence of the normal rebel traffic in the hangar enhanced Han's feeling of loneliness and loss.

He turned his attention back to the needed repairs. Now he worked at a slower, more subdue pace. He didn't need to say good-bye to Luke. He already did that night he found his lifeless body. Han stopped working and stared at the floor of the _Falcon_. That wasn't entirely true. Han kept hope that Luke would begin breathing, call his name, at least moan and show some sign of life. His desperate and hopeless hope never faded despite the fact Han knew it was pointless.

Luke wasn't supposed to die that way. _Luke wasn't supposed to die._ If only Han was successful convincing his young friend to join the _Falcon's_ crew three years ago before he stepped into the X-Wing for the first time. But Luke was being pulled in two directions, and Han knew Leia would win. How could she not? She managed to keep Han around without really trying despite her constant pleas for him to officially join the Alliance.

But Luke had strong reasons beyond the petite princess to join the rebellion. Like Leia, he lost his family. He was as much of an orphan as Leia, and both seemed to have a strong need for family, having grown up in loving families. They had the need to avenge what was taken.

Han had no such thing.

He sat down on the cold metal grate and leaned against the panel he was repairing. He buried his head in the hand of the arm that rested on his knee. Even if Luke went off with him and Chewie, Luke's life wouldn't be much safer than joining the rebellion. Han lifted his head and rested it against the panel. He wasn't going to cry. Crying wasn't going to help anything. Tears were pointless and stupid. And for a moment he wished he could handle Luke's death like Leia did.

_Leia…_Han shook his head. What was he thinkin? She wasn't handling Luke's death any better than he was. Only hiding it better. No one around her, not even the High Command whom with she spent most of her time, seemed to notice there was something off with her. And if they did, they didn't acknowledge it. However, Han noticed. Her grief was in her walk, her stance, her pale face, the dark circle under her eyes, her thin-fragile like appearance.

And he was as helpless at helping her as he was to Luke that fatal night.

Han inhaled and exhaled slowly. How did his life ever get this complicated? Han made a lot of mistakes in his life, but staying with the rebellion was his biggest. He swore he'd never become so attached to anyone besides Chewie that he felt responsible for them. So how did his attachment to Luke and Leia happen?

_Stupid, naïve, too idealistic, good for nothing kids!_

As much as he wished it, there was no going back. He had to go forward, and to him that meant leaving the princess and her doomed rebellion and return to his old life. Han's brown knitted. Leia still had a lot of things on his ship. Luke had left a few things too. Perhaps Leia would like them. He pushed himself to his feet and headed to the lockers. He'd give Leia her things after the memorial service.

But when Han opened her locker, he froze. His eyes perused her hair clips and flight suit. He reached out and touched his shirt that she made hers which hung next to the sun dress he bought her. He looked down at her tiny slippers. Han slammed her locker shut. There was no way he was going to even touch Luke's. Perhaps he'll worry about their stuff after he's finished all the repairs on the _Falcon._

Han retrieved his heavy coat and headed out of the _Falcon._

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Solo shuffled into the mess hall and stopped near the entrance. Like he figured, it was crowded and stifled sniffles could be heard. The mourners were arranged in a circle around a pedestal where Luke's flight helmet rested. Han was relieved that they decided not to display Luke's body. Across from him seated nearest the helmet were Leia, Chewbacca, General Reeiken, and a few other members of the High Command that came to Hoth to pay their respects. Threepio and Artoo stood near Chewie. Chewbacca held the princess' hand, and Han wished that he was the one holding her hand. Wedge spoke at the podium placed near the High Command seats, but Han couldn't, or rather didn't want to hear what he was saying.

Princess Leia raised her eyes and stared straight into Han's. She showed no sign of recognizing him. She remained as poised and regal as usual. Han held her gaze for what it seemed like a lifetime. And for the slightest moment he felt her pain just as he knew she felt his like that night in her room.

A chill ran through Han and he shoved his ungloved hands in his pockets. His right hand pushed against something cold and smooth. Han wrapped his hand around the cylinder object and pulled it out of his pocket. Luke's light saber. He had completely forgotten about it after he used it to slice open the tauntaun. He must have stuffed it in his pocket afterwards. Everyone else must have forgotten about it or assumed it was lost in the snow. Han fought the urge to lose the contents of his stomach. It was be a very bad place to lose control.

Solo shoved Luke's saber back into his pocket. He knew just who to give it to. Han turned on his heel and headed back to the _Falcon._

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Both Leia and Chewbacca quietly slipped out of the reception hand in hand. She never understood the drunken parties held in honor of the dead after the funeral, but it seemed like something most people needed.

She didn't. Leia walked Chewie to the _Falcon's_ ramp but declined Chewie's offer to join him inside the warm haul. Leia just wanted to be alone. She sent her droids—_her droids_—she supposed Artoo would now belong to her. How could she let anyone else take possession of him? He most likely would be subjected to a memory swipe, and Leia didn't want to lose anything that was Luke. And Artoo was the loyal companion to Luke for the last three years.

But right now, she didn't want him or Threepio around. She assigned them meaningless tasks that would keep them busy and then she headed to her quarters. The passage way leading to her room seemed colder than usual, and Leia attempted to zip up her vest. Her gloved fingers were too cold and stiff, and she cursed before giving up.

The princess lifted her head and stopped in her tracks. Han Solo crouched near her door. He slowly stood up when he saw her.

"What do you want?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"You cold?"

She scowled, "Of course. You didn't answer my question."

Han sighed and scratched the back of his head. Her icy tone took him by surprise though it shouldn't have. There last encounter wasn't so pleasant. Just because he had forgotten, didn't mean she did. Of course she didn't.

"I thought you were leaving," Leia slightly tilted her head to the right.

"Chewie wanted to go to the service, and we still have repairs to finish," Han explained. "Couldn't finish them without Chewie. I'll be gone as soon as they're finished."

Leia nodded and then continued to her quarters. She walked passed Han and activated the security code. Her door slid open and she started to step in. Han gently grabbed her arm.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"Aw, Leia just let me come in."

"Fine," she crossed over to the other side of her room.

Han lingered at the doorway for a moment. Was this a mistake? What was he thinking? Of course it was. She was angrier than a gundark. He sighed and closed the door behind him. He was here so he might as well get it over with.

"So what do you want?" she leaned against her desk.

_She's not gonna make this easy._ But when did she ever make things easy for him?

"I have something for you," Han finally managed to say.

"A going away gift?"

"Can you forget about that right now?" Han snapped.

"What is it?" Leia's tone softened.

Han lowered his eyes to the floor as he closed the distance between them. He slipped one hand into his coat pocket before making eye contact with her. Then he reached out and took her hand in his other hand, turning it over so her palm was facing up. Han licked his lips as he slowly pulled Luke's light saber out of his pocket and gently placed it in her hand.

"I…I thought you might want this."

Leia's mouth opened. Han closed her gloved hand around the light saber before letting her hand go. Leia stared at the sleek weapon. The temperature of the room fell ten degrees and everything began to spin around her. Leia's knees gave out and she dropped.

"Whoa!" Han caught her before she hit the icy floor.

He sat Leia on the bed and continued to support her. He pressed a hand to her cheek and found her skin to be clammy and cold.

"Leia?" He turned her head so that she looked at him. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Her eyes blinked several times before they focused on his face. Han pulled her close and stroked her hair, "Maybe you should go to the infirmary."

Leia shook her head, "No…I'm fine."

"You want some water?"

The princess sat up on her own, "Sure."

Han let her go once he was confident she could hold her own weight. He retrieved her cup and went to the refresher and filled it. Leia turned the light saber over in her hands. Then she activated it and stared at the brilliant blade.

Han returned with the glass of water. His eyes fell upon the blade as well. "I forgot I had it," he said. "Must've shoved it in my pocket when I was finished with it."

Leia deactivated the weapon, "Finished with it?"

Han shivered and handed her the cup of water. She touched his fingers as she took the glass, "Never mind." She took a sip, "Thank you."

Han found his voice again, "Want me to get you somethin' to eat?"

She shook her head and finished the water. Then she looked up at him, and the emotion in her large brown eyes warned Han that he wasn't going to like whatever she was going to say. He braced himself.

"You're not leaving because you have to pay off Jabba."

Han's brow knitted, "What? Of course I am."

"You stayed for the last three years," she pointed out, "without much thought about your debt."

"Not true," he turned away from her. "Just cos I don't talk about it every moment of the day doesn't mean I'm not thinkin about it."

"Fair enough," she conceded. "But that's not why you're leaving."

"What do I have to say to convince you?" Han's voice rose in volume as he turned to face her. He found that Leia wore her senator face, so emotionless and cold, and his heart hardened while his gut swirled.

"You're leaving because of Luke," her voice dropped in volume, but to Han it seemed like she was yelling at him in the same way she did when they fought.

_And you. _Han put his hands on his hips. He didn't know what to say. There was no point in lying. She already knew the truth. Leia had some sixth sense and always seemed to know what he was thinking, sometimes even before he knew.

He shook his head, "I gotta go."

"I know," Leia whispered, defeated.

Han headed toward the door, and Leia watched him. _What about me?_ She wanted to shout, but obviously she didn't mean that much to him. The door shut behind him. Leia pulled back the covers of her bed and climbed in without taking off her snow suit or boots. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6:

Han Solo and Chewbacca worked side by side in silence repairing the hyperdrive. Solo's thoughts wandered as he worked, but his lack of concentration didn't affect his abilities to do the repairs. The _Falcon's_ hyperdrive needed repairing so often that he could repair it blindfolded.

Han tweaked the carbo-seiks with a wrench as his mind remained solely on Leia. Who was going to look after her when he's gone? Now that Luke…Luke's icy face flashed before him, interrupting his repairs. Chewie grunted.

"Nothin's wrong," Han grunted back, using a tone Chewie interpreted as leave him alone.

Han grimaced and continued his work, but the moment he resumed Leia clouded his thoughts. No one was going to look after her in the way he, Chewie, and Luke did. Chewie could stay behind…Chewie wouldn't. His life debt was to Han, not Leia, and no matter how much he cared for the princess or believed in their rebellion, Chewie wouldn't leave Han.

Leia would be on her own, but she was strong before he met her, and she'd be just as strong when he left. What was he thinking? She was falling apart right in front of his eyes, which only strengthened his resolve to leave. He wasn't doing her much good, maybe even making her feel worse, and he couldn't stand to watch her wither away. Just the thought of losing her or her dying…it was too painful to bear. How could he handle it if he was around to actually witnessing it?

"Captain Solo, Chewbacca!"

Han winced at the sound of Threepio's shrilly voice. Han waved the droid away, "Look we're kinda busy right now."

Artoo twittered and beeped, and his dome swiveled from side to side.

"Captain Solo, it's the princess!"

"She'll have to wait till we're finished. She can't expect me to drop everything just because she needs somethin' from me!"

"You don't understand," Threepio shrieked. "She's not acting rationally."

"Whaddya want me to do about it?" Han returned to his work.

Chewie gurbled and woolofed.

"It's terrible!"

Han sighed, "What's terrible?"

"She said that she was cold—"

"It's cold here."

Artoo expelled a series of angry blips. Threepio continued, "If she was cold inside then why did she go out into the blizzard?"

Han and Chewie stood up simultaneously, "What?"

"Princess Leia is outside of the hangar and it's getting dark!"

Han and Chewbacca sprinted toward the hangar's mouth, and the droids did their best to keep up. When they reached the open shield doors, they saw Leia out in the hip level snow as the wind and snow whipped around her.

Han glanced around at the few rebels gawking at her. His anger rose, "Why didn't any of you stop her?"

"She ordered us—"

"Ordered!" Now he remembered why he hated the military.

Han started toward her, but he couldn't move the moment his foot sank into the snow. His heart raced and his chest constricted, taking his breath away. He dropped to his knees as his world began to swim, and Han couldn't fight it. _And Leia was going to die the same way as Luke._

Chewbacca shoved passed Han and raced into the cold after Leia. It didn't take him long to reach her since the snow wasn't as deep for the tall Wookie. Han and the two droids watched helplessly as Chewbacca took her hand and led her back to the hangar. Both she and his best friend were caked in snow, and Leia shivered uncontrollably.

Once they neared the hangar mouth, Han rose, stomped over to the princess, and grabbed her arm hard, "What the hell—" He stopped, realizing he had caught the attention of the working rebels. Normally, he didn't mind having an audience for their little tiffs, but not today.

"Come on," he dragged her along despite her difficulty keeping up.

Chewbacca roared and bared his teeth. Han swirled around and held up a finger, "Don't!"

Solo dragged the princess up the _Falcon's_ ramp, and into the warm lounge. He roughly sat her down in the navigator's chair, grabbed her arms, and shook her hard, "What the hell were you thinkin'?"

Chewbacca and the droids rushed in.

"Captain Solo!"

"Threepio, if you say another word, I'll tear your head off and use you for spare parts!"

Chewie shoved Han away from Leia and chided him. Han landed hard on his rear.

"Her little stunt could have killed you!" he yelled climbing to his feet.

Chewie's volume matched Han's. Han shook his head, "It doesn't take that long to freeze to death out there."

Chewbacca moaned, and Han turned his attention to the shivering girl. _Is that why you didn't go out there?_ Han's cheeks reddened with self-contempt and shame as Chewie's tart words echoed in his mind. Leia's teeth chattered violently and she shook beyond her control. Her lips were blue…_Like Luke's_, but she was alive. The ice stuck to eyelashes began to melt, creating the illusion of tears. But her shell-shocked expression told him she wasn't crying. Most likely she was too confused to know what was going on.

"What were you thinking?" Han tried to restrain his anger.

"I was cold," she whispered as her teeth clattered.

"So you go out into the snow to warm up?" Han's hand flew up and fell hard enough against his thigh that the slapping sound caused Leia to jump.

"I was cold," Leia repeated.

Chewie reprimanded Han again. He pushed Han to the side and knelt down before the princess. Han sighed and shook his head. Chewie pulled off her gloves and examined her fingers. He softly spoke to her.

"Touch your thumb to your pinkie finger," Threepio translated.

Leia had a little difficulty with the task, but she managed to do it.

Han helped her to her feet. "Come on," he pulled her along by the arm. "Let's warm you up."

Chewbacca bared his teeth and lifted Leia into his arms. He carried her to the makeshift medical cabin. Han followed as he mumbled under his breath. When they reached the makeshift med center Han pulled out the warming blankets. Then both Chewie and Han stripped Leia to her thermals. Han noticed that she now wore three pair. He considered removing a couple of layers, but her undergarments were dry. Chewie coaxed the princess into the small bed, and Han covered her with the warming blankets.

"I'll go get her something warm to drink," Han excused himself.

Threepio and Artoo approached the door after the angry captain disappeared.

"How is Her Highness?" Threepio asked. Chewie stroked Leia's forehead as he answered the droid. "Oh, thank the Maker!"

Leia's eyes focused on Chewie, "Are you okay?"

Chewie cooed and smiled and Leia nodded. She sighed, "I just can't seem to get warm."

Chewie patted her head and mumbled something as he exited the cabin. Threepio watched him go, "Chewbacca went to see what's taking Captain Solo so long retrieving something warm for you to drink."

Artoo twittered and Threepio translated, "Is there anything we can do for you?"

Leia turned away from them, "I'm tired. I just want to be let alone."

"Very well, Your Highness," Threepio bowed and left with Artoo.

Chewbacca found Han slumped in the dining chair with a cup of steaming tea in front of him.

Han looked up at Chewie, "Why do you think she went out there?"

Chewie shrugged and retrieved another cup.

"How are you?" Han asked, and Chewie brushed his concerns away. Han shook his head, "I should've gone after her."

Chewbacca patted Han's arm. Han looked up at him, "I…I just couldn't. I'm sorry. I put you in danger." Chewie woofed and Han grunted, "I'm not trying to be the hero! You could have died!"

The Wookie growled sternly. Han stood up and grabbed the cup, "Whaddya know? It doesn't take that long to freeze to death out there, especially at night!"

"Pardon me, Captain Solo," Threepio called from the door.

Han shot the droid a death look, "Whaddya want?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Don't you have somethin' better to do?"

"Fortunately, we don't."

Han inhaled, "Can't stay on my ship."

"Well," Threepio looked at Artoo for support and the droid backed up. "When the princess was in her quarters and said that she was cold, Artoo turned up the thermostat."

"So?"

"There was some melting and….well, all her things are wet." Threepio confessed. "I told Artoo that was a mistake."

Artoo blurted out angry blips, and Threepio turned to his counterpart, "I did not tell you to turn it up! I merely agreed with the princess, but it's supposed to be cold!"

"So she has no place to stay tonight," Han sounded defeated.

"Your deduction is correct."

"Don't worry. She can stay here for the night, but you better fix everything by tomorrow mornin'."

"We will do our best," Threepio and Artoo exited.

Solo tried to contain his anger as he entered the medical cabin. He walked over to Leia and touched her shoulder, "Sit up."

Leia obeyed but held the blanket tight around her. Her lips were still tinged blue, making her skin seem all the more paler, and she still shivered. Leia pulled her knees up to her chest. Han wanted to rub her cheeks to bring back some color, say something that would cause her to blush or get angry, but he handed her the cup of tea instead. Maybe that would work just as well.

"I'm not thirsty," she said through chattering teeth.

"I don't care," Han thrust the cup into her face. "You need to warm up."

She took the cup and took modest sips. Her shivering quieted a touch. Han sat down in the chair next to her unsure what to say. If only he understood her motives for that stupid stunt. Maybe if he let her warm up some more she'll start making sense again.

"I was cold."

"What?"

"I was cold," she repeated as if she knew what Han wanted to ask her.

"It's colder out there than in here."

Leia's large dark eyes gazed upon him and said nothing. Han's patience was waning as his anger grew, "That was probably the most stupid thing you've ever done!"

She frowned, "You went out there…after Luke."

"Luke was out there! I had a better reason to go out there than just being cold—which doesn't make sense!" Han yelled. "And alotta good that did!"

Leia was silent for a moment. She looked away from him, "No one had to come after me."

"You really think we'd let you freeze out there?"

She didn't say anything. Han rubbed his face. "Is that what you wanted?"

Her response was fierce, "No! How can you think that?"

"How can I not?"

"I _was _cold," she said with venom in her voice.

"Will you stop saying that? It doesn't make sense!"

Leia bit her lip, "I can't seem to get warm."

Han sighed. Obviously the conversation was going nowhere. "You're staying here tonight," Han said. "That should warm you up."

Leia looked into the cup, "You can't make me warm."

Han furrowed his brow, her words deflating his heart. _She's given up on me._ I failed her. He inhaled, "We'll turn up the heat."

The princess handed Han the cup, "I don't want to stay here."

"You don't have a choice," Han frowned. "Your stupid droids turned up the thermostat in your room. Everything's wet. Don't go around saying you're cold in front of the droids."

"I can't stay here," Leia pushed the covers off of her.

"Why not?"

"I just can't," she shook her head.

Han stood up and pushed her back onto the bed with a gentler touch than earlier. He cringed as he thought of how rough he was on her, but he was so mad and so worried…

"You have no other place to go tonight," Han pointed out. "One night and we'll be free of each other."

Leia's body went limp on the bed. _We'll be free of each other._ He wanted to be free of her.

"Fine," Leia rolled over, her body trembling under the blankets. "I'm tired."

Han stood up. Her cold manner and her reluctance to stay with him stabbed his heart. She was pain, his pain. He failed her by letting Luke die, and he'd never be able to make it up to her. And he was bound to fail her in the future as he failed Luke. Han couldn't bear that. The sooner he leaves, the better it will be for everyone.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7:

Princess Leia shoved her hands into the pockets of her vest and hunched over. It seemed as if it was getting colder each day. What she wouldn't give for a hot bath. She yawned as she reached the door to her quarters. Her large brown eyes gazed upon the closed grey door and her heart sank. She felt so alone, so isolated, and she knew that the moment she stepped into her room, she'd feel the same suffocating emptiness that she had experienced since Han told her that he was leaving.

Leia missed Luke, and his death was responsible for some of the emptiness, but it seemed all-consuming now that Han was leaving. Knowing Han was there made it… less painful. Maybe because she wasn't bearing the pain of their loss alone, even when they weren't on speaking terms. Maybe because…because she didn't want to lose him as well.

But she had already lost him. Han would be leaving soon. She hadn't talked to him, but Chewie told her that their repairs were almost finished. Leia raised her head and closed her eyes. She knew Han grew strongly attached to Luke, but she had secretly hoped that she meant as much to him as Luke did. Obviously, she meant little to Han. Han Solo stayed around because of Luke. (What about her?) There was nothing to keep him here now. Her heart constricted under the reality of her relationship with Han. She was nothing to him, but Leia was deeply attached to him, had been for a long time, which made his departure all the more painful. However, she did take comfort in the fact that she never told him, that she at least had her dignity. That's all she had left.

The princess inhaled and entered her quarters, but she quickly came to a halt. She stared at the coat lying neatly on her bed. She recognized it. How could she not? Leia had watched that coat go about its business around the base since they set it up. What was it doing on her bed? How did it get there?

Leia glanced at the door. It was locked when she opened it. She rolled her lips between her teeth and took tentative steps over to her bed. She stared at the brown parka with the fur-lined hood. Then she touched the fur as if to confirm the coat was really there and it wasn't some cruel hallucination. Her hand followed the edge of the hood down the zipper before she picked up the note that lied in the center of the parka.

"Stay warm, Leia. Han."

Leia gazed upon the note, reading it over and over until it was burned into her memory. She then slipped the note inside the parka's pocket. Leia picked up the coat, noting its heaviness. Her arms instinctively slid into its sleeves which fell passed her hands. Pushing back the sleeves, Leia reached into her vest pocket and pulled out Luke's light saber, twisted it around in her hands, and then carefully placed it in her new coat pocket. Leia pulled the coat tight around her as she climbed into her bed. She hugged her knees to her chest. Han was really leaving…if he hadn't left already. She shut her eyes tight. She would not cry.

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Han Solo sat at the holotable and nursed a glass of brandy. The repairs were finished for the most part. The hyperdrive was held together with proverbial wire, but it would work well enough, and he and Chewie can get brand-new parts, or slightly used parts at the next port they came to, which would most likely be Tatooine. Han shuddered and sipped the brandy slowly, enjoying the warmth of the liquor as much as he could enjoy anything.

He absently wondered if he'd ever enjoy anything again.

Leia came to mind. He hadn't seen her since she left the _Falcon_ the day after she mysteriously walked out into Hoth's bitter cold. That wasn't completely true. He kept an eye on her from a very long distance (made easier now that she wore his coat). He watched her as she fulfilled her duties in the hangar, peeked in on the Command Center as he went to the mess hall. But he didn't approach her, let alone speak to her. The rift between them seemed as vast as the snow plains outside the hangar, and he didn't understand it nor know how to fix it.

But what was the point of fixing it? He was leaving. It was better this way, less pain (for him or her?). So what if she hated him? Would it matter after the _Falcon_ leaves this wasteland behind?

Han gulped down the brandy and poured another glass. It mattered to him, and that was just as irrational as Leia going out into the blizzard because she was cold. The thought of her forever hating him felt like he was swallowing broken glass. Han coughed as if to clear a phantom object in his throat. He didn't want to leave things between him and her like this, but what choice did he have?

Han shoved the bottle of brandy and glass away from him and slammed his head down on the holotable. There were always choices. The problem with choices weren't so much the choices themselves but that choices come with consequences. Even if it brought him an ounce of peace to mend things between him and Leia (if that was even possible at this point), how would it affect her?

It didn't matter. He was leaving; making amends with Leia would only make it more painful for him. _You could stay…_ Han's breath fogged the table. _She could die…_ He pounded a fist against the table, spilling the brandy. When did everything become so fragile?

Han opened his fist and pressed it against the cool holotable. Everything had always been fragile. He just didn't want to see it. He got too caught up in it—life…Luke…Leia…_Leia_…got too close to the fire, in a sense. No attachments, that was his number one rule.

So why did he break it?

Chewie grumbled as he walked by Han.

Han lifted his head and scowled, "I am not drunk!"

The Wookie stopped and rested a hand on his hip. Han stood up, ignoring the mess on the holotable, "No, I'm not drunk!" Han righted the tipped brandy bottle. "I was just having a drink alone cos my best friend seems too busy hanging out with someone else."

Chewbacca leaned against the bulkhead and emitted a long gurgle. Han stood up, "No, I'm not jealous. Hang out with her all you like."

The Wookie whined. Han did his best to look nonchalant, "I don't wanna hang out with her. I'm done with her and everything that has to do with her."

He stood up, leaving the brandy bottle and glass on the holotable. He paused for a moment and his eyes fell to the ground. _Is she okay? Is she takin' care of herself?_ Han shook his head and continued on to his cabin without voicing his concerns about the princess. Just the time Chewie spent with her ripped Han's heart into shreds. He wasn't jealous. That wasn't it as all. He didn't want to know anything about her. Each morsel of knowledge pertaining to sweet Leia was like experiencing her death over and over. But it still hurt not to know of her well-bing.

Chewie chose his words carefully, maintaining a quiet solemn tone. That caught Han's attention, "I'm not doin' anythin' for her!"

When Chewbacca disclosed the princess' request, Han slumped against the bulkhead and sighed, "I…I don't know if I can do it, Chewie."

Chewie slowly nodded as he gurbled and gurruoofed. Han closed his eyes. Chewie's right; Luke's remains wouldn't get the proper disposal here on Hoth. Han wanted nothing more than to forget about Luke and Leia, but could he really leave his friend—dead or alive—on this frozen wasteland? _I'm leaving Leia…_Han folded his arms. To have Luke's body…Luke on his ship until they reached a place…where? Han couldn't fathom having Luke on his ship. It would be too close of a reminder. But he knew funeral rites were important in Wookie culture. He couldn't deny Chewie his need to bring closure, a closure that would always remain elusive to Han.

"Fine. Tell her we'll do it." Han started toward the navigation computer and ran another pre-flight check. Chewie mumbled, and Han scowled at him, "Then why'd ya' ask me if you already told her yes?"

Chewbacca shrugged and emitted a definite command. Han groaned, "Fine. Once we load him on this ship, we're outa here. Got that?"

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Princess Leia's eyes scanned the monitor before her and then jaunted over to another monitor. It had been about two standard hours since the patrol squads spotted Imperial ships come out of hyperspace not too far from the atmosphere. Although the shield was in place, Leia knew it was a weak defense and not much protection from the three Star Destroyers with countless TIE fighters in their bellies.

Two hours. It wasn't a lot of time to execute an evacuation no matter how many plans and drills they had. And this evacuation, this battle, was hers alone. Leia had volunteered, practically insisted that this base be her responsibility, and the other High Command had left several days ago for Sullust to consult with Mon Montha about a sensitive matter.

Now Leia questioned if she was the best choice to lead this base. No, if it was business as usual, she could do the job with her eyes closed. This sudden and somewhat unexpected evacuation wasn't something she anticipated. And Luke wasn't here, and Han and Chewie probably left hours ago, she was alone. Alone and responsible for over three hundred troops.

But she had been alone before, after the destruction of Alderaan. _Han and Luke were there._ The princess pushed that thought out of her head and held on to the resolve she possessed after Alderaan. She would not let the Empire be victorious.

She shook her head. There would be no victory today. Leia could only hope to save as many of her troops as possible. She had already ordered more than half transports be loaded and prepped for take-off.

"Imperial shuttles just landed outside of the perimeter, Your Highness," the rebel officer announced.

Leia lowered her chin. "AT-ATs. Deploy the Rogue Squadron and Blue Squadron to engage the Imperials."

The princess watched the battle on the monitors, her teeth clenched tight. The AT-ATs' armor was too strong for the feeble fire blaster of the snow speeders. She winced every time a snow speeder was blasted to pieces. She couldn't waste a single moment. Leia ordered three transports escorted by four X-Wings to depart in sync with the ion cannon blasts. She wanted to get as many transports evacuated as possible.

She watched two of the transports disintegrate under Imperial fire. There were still seven more to evacuate. Leia swallowed the lump in her throat. She was the one who made the decisions. They were counting on her. Could she possibly send another transport to their demise? But staying here was death too. Leia's chest constricted. This wasn't the time to fall apart.

She could not fall apart, not ever.

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Han Solo's chest constricted as he stared at the makeshift coffin that held his dear friend's body. Han and Chewie tucked it away in the deep depths of the _Falcon's_ cargo hold, the darkest corner he could find. Chewbacca left Han in the cargo hold to finish pre-flight preparations. Despite Chewie's and his own misgivings about leaving the princess especially in her state and in the middle of an evacuation, Chewie would honor Han's wishes. Chewie knew Han's way of dealing with things he didn't or couldn't deal with was to run away as far as he could. Han never lost anything this big as long as Chewbacca knew his young friend.

Solo ran his bottom lip through his teeth and rested his hands on his hips. His knees felt weak, and he locked them. He may have been alone, but he wasn't going to give in to the stabbing turmoil assaulting every part of his body. Han hurt in a way he never had in his life, not even as a child. He stared at Luke's coffin as his mind ran different scenarios that ended with Han saving Luke.

He couldn't save Luke. He was too late. And if he couldn't save Luke, he couldn't save Leia. His stomach churned. Save her from what? She committed herself to the cause of the rebellion long before Han ever met her. She was intent on following through on what her father began to her death. It's what she wanted. Why should Han take that from her? So he wouldn't take it from her, but he wasn't going to sit around and witness her dying for her stupid cause.

No regrets. No attachments. No looking back. Han turned on his heel and headed to the cockpit.

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Princess Leia pushed an errant strand of hair out of her eyes as she rushed around to the various monitors. Things weren't looking too good for the rebels. Wedge figured out a way to cripple the AT-ATs with tow cables, but there were more AT-ATs than snow speeders, and the snow speeders weren't immune to the high powered blast fire from the Empire's ghastly weapons. However, the shield was still intact, but with those AT-ATs approaching fast, it wouldn't be long.

"Imperial ground troops closing in," a faceless voice reported.

The princess's brow knitted and she chewed the inside of her cheek. She didn't expect Imperial ground troops. It didn't make sense if the rebels were sending transports full of Alliance personnel straight into the paths of those Star Destroyers, easy targets to pick off despite the feeble protection of the ion cannon and X-Wing escorts. The last thing she wanted was a ground battle. The rebels were at a disadvantage to begin with. Hand-to-hand combat guaranteed a lot of lost lives. However, if the Imperials managed to destroy the all of the shield generators, it would be over. Leia had planned on evacuating most of the troops in the last two transports. Something told her not to evacuate them sooner. She sometimes hated her instincts. If she hadn't followed them, she wouldn't be forced to do what she knew had to be done.

Leia swallowed hard, "Deploy ground troops."

She watched her men rush out onto the battlefield with an enthusiasm and determination she no longer felt. She was sending many of them to their death.

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Solo stared at the console, wholly aware of the chaos that ensued around the _Falcon._ Three Star Destroyers hovering over the base. It wasn't just bad for the rebels. Those Star Destroyers hindered Han and Chewie's escape as well. And then there was his conscience. Could he fight his way through without aiding the rebels? Some of those pilots he knew and liked well enough.

He cared more for Leia than those pilots, and he was leaving her. He swallowed as he remembered that she was the one leading this fight. What fight? The rebels were fighting hard, but they didn't have a chance. He knew Leia knew that. She had voiced her concerns months ago as they set up the base. She never thought Hoth was a good place for the base. There wasn't much protection if they were found. Leia always knew they'd be found. It was just a matter of time.

"Imperial troops have entered the base! Imperial troops—"

It was over. Time for him and Chewie to leave as well. He hoped Leia had enough sense to have evacuated with the rest of the Command Center. Han looked at Chewbacca.

"Ready?"

Chewie nodded silently. Han reached for the ignition when a pair of waving gold arms outside the canopy caught his attention.

"Just great!" Han cursed. "I bet Goldenrod and Dome Head missed their transport and want a ride."

Chewie moaned. Han shook his head, "I knew you were gonna say that."

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The last shuttle had been deployed, but the atmosphere satellites had been destroyed. Leia had no way of knowing if it got away. On another monitor she watched the Rogue Squadron gracefully take flight and head out into the battle. Leia rushed to another monitor, scanning it to see if there was anyone left in the hangar. She sighed in relief. Although the monitor was fuzzy and the camera's range limited, she seemed to be the only one left. It was a hollow success, evacuating everyone seconds before the Imperial troops closed in on the base. So many lives were lost because of her decisions, right or wrong, good or bad.

She collapsed on one of the last upright chairs. Leia managed to convince the last transport that she was cut off from all escape routes, and they needed to leave without her before it was too late. Now…now what? She was truly alone ready to face whatever consequences may come her way. Whatever it was, Leia didn't care. She was just relieved that it was over.

A rustling behind her, caught her attention. Leia slowly turned around, ready to face her fate.

Her face pinched, "Why you still here?"

Han climbed over debris, "That's what I was about to ask you."

"You should've left hours ago!"

"I'll leave, but first I'm gonna get you to your ship!" Han grabbed her arm and jerked her out of her seat.

"There's no ship," Leia resisted his pull. "All transports are away."

"Then you're comin' with me!" Han dragged her along.

The princess dug her heels into the debris and ripped her arm out of his grasp, "No. I have to see this to the end. It's my responsibility!"

"If you don't leave with me right now, you're gonna get us all killed!"

Han's words cut her deep to the core. So many deaths were already on her head. To cause anymore…and it was her friends' lives....

"Come on," Han's voice was soft and pleading. He took her hand, and Leia, numb and cold, allowed him to lead her through the maze of collapsed passageways and falling debris without caring where he took her.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8:

Leia shuddered as the Star Destroyers came into view. Han and Chewie rolled and banked and performed moves Leia didn't even know the _Falcon_ was able to do. The cockpit was unusually quiet save for the occasional exclamations from Threepio who fought to keep himself upright in the seat behind Chewbacca. Artoo, who activated the magnetic feet he usually used for space repairs, twittered as if he was laughing.

"They're getting closer," Leia observed.

Han broke out his lop-sided grin, though she couldn't see it, "Oh yeah? What this!"

He activated the hyperdrive. The _Falcon_ bucket and lurched before the stars stretched into a magnificent sight, and Leia relaxed against her seat. Han swiveled in his chair still wearing his trademark smile. She shook her head and returned his smile.

Threepio threw his hands in the air, "Oh! Thank the Maker!"

Han silently echoed Threepio's sentiment. The atheist thanked whoever, whatever might have been watching over him.

It was a close escape. The Imperial ground troops had reached the hangar before Han and Leia reached the _Falcon_, and when Leia caught sight of Darth Vader himself, she froze and lost her ability to breathe. Han picked her up and ran as fast as he could, yelling at her to breathe. As they ran up the closing ramp Chewbacca had already lifted the ship off the ground. Han roughly shook Leia until she snapped out of her trance and gasped for air. He then dragged her to the cockpit and strapped her in before he took over the reins of the ship.

Han gazed upon her, feeling as if he beat the entire Empire himself. He was about to ask her—and the rest of the crew, if they would like to open a bottle of wine to celebrate.

The princess looked away from Han before he could propose his idea. Leia unbuckled her restraints and stood, "Is it okay if I go clean up?"

Han's smile faded at her sudden mood change, "Sure. It'll take about six days to reach Sullust so make yourself at home."

"Thank you," she wrapped her arms around herself and her eyes stayed on the deck as she left the cockpit.

Han and Chewbacca exchanged concerned glances.

"Her Highness doesn't seem well," Threepio stated.

"Our escape was pretty stressful," Han frowned. "She'll be fine." _I hope._ But Han expected the girl was troubled not by their close escape but by other things that couldn't be erased by the stretched stars of lightspeed.

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Princess Leia stood in front of her locker, the locker next to Luke's. She eyed his locker. She didn't want to do it. Her heart pumped hard. She had to do it. Leia lifted the handle and Luke's locker popped open, and his possessions remained exactly how he had left them. Her knees suddenly weak, Leia squatted down in front of it. She figured Han would have removed his stuff, but Luke meant enough to him to leave the rebellion, _leave her_. It made sense that the captain of this ship wouldn't remove a single memory of Leia's dearest friend.

Leia closed Luke's locker and retrieved her navy sweat pants, Han's sweater that she claimed as her own, two pairs of socks, and her toiletries. She figured she run her thermals through the wash while she showered. Although the _Falcon_ was considerably warmer than Hoth, she still felt chilled to the bone. She hoped the hot shower would chase the chill away. With head hung low, she shuffled to the refresher.

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Han looked at Chewbacca, "Well, Pal? Wudda ya' say we get something to eat?"

Chewie nodded and growled with enthusiasm. The pair rose and headed to the galley.

"Pardon me, Captain Solo."

Han stopped and cringed, "Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you had any tasks for Artoo and me."

Han looked over his shoulder as he continued on, "Find somethin' that needs fixin' or straightening. I don't care."

When Han reached the galley, Chewie already started to make his favorite sandwich: nerf and kockloi jelly. Han grimaced in disgust. He headed over to the freezer and grabbed more appetizing condiments to complement his own nerf sandwich.

"Do you think her Royal Highness wants a sandwich?"

Chewie shrugged. Han finished making his sandwich and started another. "Yeah, she should be hungry."

Han retrieved two cups and filled them with chuny juice. He placed one in front of Chewbacca and sat down across from him. A long silence hovered over them.

Han put his sandwich down, and his eyes stayed focused on it, "Well, this isn't exactly how things were supposed to go."

Chewie grunted as he continued to chew.

"Six days isn't so long," Han pointed out before he took another bite of his sandwich. So much for a clean break.

However, Han wasn't as upset about the unexpected change of plans as he thought he'd be. After all, it was his fault in a way. He could have left earlier, well before the Imperials showed up. The repairs had been finished the day before. So why didn't he leave?

He gulped down his juice. Now that the princess was safe on his ship, probably safer than she would have been on one of those transports, the tightness in his chest receded. Han didn't realize how hard it was going to be to leave. His sickening fear of witnessing and living through Leia's death made him want to run away to the farthest planet he could so he could forget her. But although he still felt sick thinking that she could die as easily as Luke, his fear of not knowing how she was suddenly, desperately, outweighed all his anxiety. Han couldn't imagine life without the pint-size princess, and that scared him almost as much as losing her to her cause.

How could he have ever thought of leaving her?

Han sighed. He would have been the cause of her death if he hadn't gone back for her. A knot settled in his stomach. Han stood up, "I think I'm gonna lie down for bit."

Chewie growled and watched Han leave. The Wookie began humming to himself as he snatched up Han's unfinished sandwich and started to munch away. Chewbacca never wanted to leave the rebellion. The Wookie was there at the start. It made sense that he'd see it to its finish. And Chewie never wanted to leave the princess. Leia needed Han, but Han needed her more. He couldn't tell Han that. Han wouldn't listen, and he'd become more obstinate about the situation. And Han needed Chewie as he did Leia, so Chewie wouldn't abandon Han even if he knew his partner was making the mistake of his life.

The Wookie thanked the Force that things happened as he did. He knew they'd escape, for he believed that the Force was with them. He could feel it like static in the air. As he devoured the last bite of Han's sandwich, Chewie's mind drifted to the Clone War battle on Kashyyyk when the Jedi represented peace, order, and hope. He wondered if Yoda escaped or if he was felled by the Emperor. That Jedi was wise and powerful, and despite the odds against Yoda's survival, Chewbacca silently prayed that he was hiding out on some planet like Obi Wan.

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Leia stood under then hot spray of water. Her eyes remained closed as the water saturated her hair and fell like a waterfall from her face. Her skin turned an angry red as the water hit her body. She held her hands tight together under her chin, waiting for the cold to fade from her bones.

After a few moments, she rested her forehead against the tile wall. The _Falcon_ was the last place she wanted to be, especially since its captain didn't particularly plan on having her aboard. She was certain Han was livid. _He came back for you. He didn't have to._ Leia cursed those two droids of hers. If they hadn't rushed to the _Falcon_ instead of the transport, Han would have left without a second thought about her. Droids are supposed to follow orders, _her_ orders. Threepio usually did despite what she asked. It had to be Artoo. He was always obstinate and independent, and he certainly was a bad influence on Threepio. She'd be certain to give that little meddler a kick when he wasn't expecting it.

Han didn't want to retrieve her. He wanted to leave, leave her. Leia lifted her head and pushed back her hair. Steam rose up around her, but she still felt cold. And sick to her stomach. She was stuck with Han for six days and she was certain she was the last person he wanted around. Well, maybe Jabba would be her out in that contest. Nevertheless, she was numb and empty inside. She felt more alone on this normally cozy and warm ship than she did on Hoth after Luke died and Han told her he was leaving.

"Oh, Luke," Leia pressed her hands to her eyes. "I need you. Why did you leave me?"

_Why did everyone she loved leave her?_ Everybody dies. The illusion of immortality, the invincibility of youth, she knew too well that everything can be gone in a flash. Or a blast. Leia turned around under the shower of hot water and pressed her back against the tile. Then she sank down to the ground, holding her knees to her chest. _I can't do this anymore. I can't go on._ But she had to. What choice did she have?

Leia just didn't expect to go on without Luke, the only thing constant and sure in her life. _But nothing is ever certain in life,_ her father's words echoed in her mind as loud as if he was standing outside of the shower. Leia glanced at the fogged-up door, fighting the urge to open up the door to see if he was there. She pressed her head to her knees and opened her mouth to scream. She pushed the air in her lungs through her windpipe as hard as she could, and her soundless scream disturbed no one.

The princess stood up and turned off the flowing water, still as chilled as she was when she first stepped into the shower. Luke, like her father, was deep in her heart, better than nothing. And she had to go on, fulfill her father's dream of a peaceful, democratic galaxy, for Luke. That's what Luke would want her to do. After all, he joined the Alliance and fought by her side for the same reason she did.

Leia picked up one of Han's ratty old towels and wrapped it around herself. She wiped her hand across the mirror and gazed upon her reflection. She frowned. She looked tired. She was tired. She retrieved her brush from her toiletry bag and dragged it through her hair. Leia couldn't remember the last time she wasn't tired. Maybe her childhood? But her memories of home were fading fast. Would Luke fade away to? She closed her eyes. She pushed that thought away. She desperately needed his memory if she couldn't have him there to physically hold her hand and comfort her. Leia pulled her brush harder and harder through her tangled hair, enduring, almost relishing the pain each time the bristles caught a tangle.

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Han stared up at the bulkhead. Where was he going to keep Leia? He smirked at his choice of words. "Keep". Leia wasn't one to be kept. His smirk faded. _No one could keep the fiery princess, not even him._ Six days and she'd go on to fight for her cause, _lose her life to her cause. _ And he? No matter how he felt about Leia, that didn't change the rift between them. He could try to mend it. That would at least make the next six days go smoother. However, it takes two to fix a friendship. Leia seemed to be lost to him, stuck in her own world, a world that he didn't understand nor knew how to break into.

He intended to leave her. He knew the moment he looked into her eyes and told her he was leaving, he had lost her. With all the pain and death in her life, maybe she finally lost herself?

Han heard Leia close the refresher door and go to her locker. He sat up and listened. Her footsteps were soft, and Han figured she was wearing her tiny slippers. She continued down the corridor, her footfalls fading. Han got up from his bed and followed her at an inconspicuous pace.

Chewie greeted Leia as he constructed another sandwich.

"Hi, Chewie," Leia quietly greeted him.

"Feel better?" Han asked.

Leia's head whirled around, and her braided tail whipped along, "Yes, thank you."

Han put his hands in his pockets and opened his mouth to offer her the sandwich he made. But he stopped as she headed straight to the incinerator. Then he noticed that she held her snow suit and vest in a ball. She opened the incinerator and dumped her clothes into it. Then she slammed it shut and activated the machine.

"Whaddya doin'?" Han moved to stand next to her.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She stared at the incinerator.

"I take it since you burned your snow suit that you're finally warm," Han stared down at the top of her head.

Leia looked down at her attire. Under Han's coat she wore his sweater, her blue sweatpants, and thermals, "No."

"How can you be—" Chewie cut off Han with a low growl.

Han rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. He decided to change the subject, "You hungry? I made you a sandwich." He picked it up and held it out to her.

"Thank you, but I'm not hungry," Leia looked at the sandwich and pulled Han's coat tighter around herself.

"With the evacuation goin' on, I'm sure you didn't have time for a midday meal," Han pushed.

Leia's skin paled, and Han bit his lip. Not exactly the right thing to say. He held the plate in one hand and encircled her shoulders with the other as he shepherd her to a seat at the table. "Come on," he forced a smile. "It's really good. I made it special for you."

Leia looked up at Han, her mouth forming a tiny 'o'. Maybe she was wrong about his sentiments toward her. She looked at the sandwich. No, it was just a sandwich. She chided herself for thinking the sandwich to be more than a sandwich. Leia shook her head.

Chewie whoofed, and Han scowled at him, "This is _her_ sandwich, you big oaf!"

Leia rose from the table, "It's okay. Chewie can have it. I don't feel like eating right now."

Chewie snatched the sandwich from Han. Han stared at the great Wookie as he devoured Leia's sandwich. Then he looked at her, "Maybe later, then."

Leia nodded and sighed, "I was wondering if…where can I sleep?"

Han hadn't figured that out yet. He scratched his head, "You can have my cabin."

"No, thank you," Leia shoved her hands in the parka's pockets and fingered Luke's saber in one hand and the note Han left her in the other. "I don't want to put you out of your room. Do you have a place where I'll be out of the way?"

"Whaddya mean 'out of the way'?"

"I just don't want to be any trouble," Leia raised her large brown eyes to his. "I know that…" she sighed, "I'm not supposed to be here."

"But you are," Han shrugged.

"I know," Leia mumbled and dropped her eyes to the floor.

Her defeated tone pierced Han's gut. He glanced at Chewie who wouldn't meet his gaze. Han reached out and placed his hand on the top of Leia's head, tipping it up so that she had to look at him, "It's been a difficult day for you. Why don't you go lie down in my cabin while we set up a place of your own?"

Han stretched out his hand. Leia stared at it, hesitated, and then slipped the hand fingering Luke's light saber out of the pocket. She took his hand and Han led her to his cabin.

"Sorry it's a bit of a mess."

"I don't care."

Han pulled back the bed covers as Leia slid off her slippers. Han held the blanket back for her, and she climbed under it, pulling her knees to her chest. Han's brow knitted, "Aren't you gonna take off the parka and sweater?"

"I'm cold," she mumbled.

Han pulled the blanket over her, tucking it around her tiny form. He looked at her for a moment and then grabbed the edge of the parka's hood. He pulled it over her head, and she gave him a tiny, closed-mouth smile, but a smile nonetheless. Han deactivated the lights.

"I'll wake you when dinner's ready," he promised, but her eyes were already closed.

Han gazed upon her for a moment, his heart aching at the thought of her suffering. He exited the cabin, leaving the door open like she preferred.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9:

Han sat up and stretched. The cot he slept on caused havoc on his back. He twisted right and left in hope that he could relieve the pain in his lower back. He yawned, rubbed his face, and scratched his head. He glanced at the pillow and contemplated going back to sleep for another couple of hours. His temporary roommate, Chewie, was already up, and the droids were monitoring the cockpit. As much as Threepio irked him, having the droids aboard, especially Artoo made things easier. If only Artoo spoke Basic. Then he could space Goldenrod.

He grimaced. Leia definitely would not approve. He yawned again and stretched to see the chronometer. It had been about three hours since he last checked on her. When he went to wake her last evening he noticed that her skin was cool to the touch, and without fully waking, she refused to join them for dinner. Han retrieved one of the warming blankets and laid it over her. He then sought out Chewie who assured him that she hadn't had a proper night's sleep since the day they met her, and it was best to let her sleep.

However, that didn't ease Han's worries. He thought by now she would have warmed up, even removed his parka. But each time he checked on her, her skin was still cool and her position never changed. Chewie could have been right. Han had never seen her sleep so deeply and soundly. Her eating habits weren't much better than her sleep habits, but at least she was now sleeping.

Han reluctantly rose to his feet and headed to the refresher. His brow furrowed as his eyes fell upon a small object lying on the floor. He picked it up and examined it. It was Luke's pendant. Luke told him that Ben had given it to him. His father had polished the Naboo stone and carved markings in the middle of the emerald stone, but Luke didn't understand what they meant. He told Han that his father made it for him before Luke was born, and after his father died, his mother, who probably died as well, instructed Ben to give it to him. Han remembered the look in Luke's large blue eyes: hopeful, wistful. Luke saw it as a clue to his heritage that his parents might have been from Naboo. He told Han of his plan to go there someday after the war ended.

So much for dreams and plans. Luke had asked Han to keep it here on the _Falcon_ so that he wouldn't lose it in a battle. Han squeezed it in his hand, and it absorbed his warmth. If only he could squeeze the chill out of Leia. Han pulled it over his head so he wouldn't lose it, and the knot in his stomach returned. He couldn't warm Luke out there in the wastelands of Hoth. What made him think he could do anything for Leia?

Han took off his close and entered the shower. Leia's flowery body wash and scrubber rested on the shelf under the shower head. He picked up her shampoo, lifted it to his nose, and deeply inhaled. Han closed his eyes as he imagined that it was Leia's hair his nose was pressed to. Han replaced it exactly where she left it. His hazel eyes spotted a few strands of her hair pressed against the tile. Han removed one of the strands and held it up, inspecting its length. Instead of dropping it to the ground so that it could be washed down the drain, Han stuck it back onto the tile. Leia had traveled on his ship many times over the last three years, and he was used to finding her belongings all over the ship. But this time it was different. These strands of hair and miscellaneous items may be the only things that will remain of her once they reach Sullust.

Han turned on the shower and tried to lose himself in the warm water.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The shower woke up Han, but he figured a cup of kaffe wouldn't hurt. He could smell bacon and gariv eggs wafting through the corridors from the galley, and his stomach growled in response. Chewie was an awesome cook, but his breakfast concoctions rivaled the prestigious restaurants on Coruscant. Leia couldn't possibly turn down Chewie's breakfast.

Thinking of Leia, he headed to his cabin and peeked in. She still remained in the same position he had left her in the night before, and she seemed as if she was still in a deep sleep. Han frowned. Certainly the girl had enough sleep.

"Captain Solo," Threepio tapped Han on the back.

"Sh!"

Threepio lowered his voice, "Chewbacca asked me to inform you that breakfast is ready, and that if you don't come soon he'll eat it all." Threepio shook his head, which included his stiff torso, "That Wookie can eat more than any being I have ever met."

"Tell him I'll be there in a second," Han walked into his cabin.

He found himself transfixed by the soft, child-like expression on the princess' countenance the moment he looked at her. She seemed at peace. He was reluctant to wake her, for her sorrow and pain would most likely assault her the moment her eyes opened. Han didn't want to be the one who caused it. He glanced at the door hoping Threepio might still be near. He could have the droid wake her. But then, Han couldn't imagine anything worse than being woken by that shrilly voice of Threepio.

He touched her forehead and quickly retracted his hand. How could she still be cold? Han gently shook her shoulder.

"Leia, sweetheart, breakfast time."

Leia rolled to her back and fought to open her eyes, "Han?"

"Time to eat."

"I thought you left?" she sat up and noticed that she was in his cabin. "Oh."

"Come on," he pulled the covers back. "You've been asleep since we jumped into lightspeed."

"I'm sorry for taking your cabin," Leia looked down at the bedclothes.

"No reason to be sorry. You've used it in the past."

"Different circumstances," she muttered and she climbed out of the bed.

"Why is this different?"

Leia tilted her head, jutted out a hip, and rested her hand on it.

"Oh. You'd rather be on that crowded transport."

She folded her arms across her chest, pulling Han's parka closer around her body, "I'd be where I'm supposed to be."

"If I remember right," Han imitated her posture, "the transport left you behind." _And I know you gave the order for it to take off without you,_ but Han wouldn't say that out loud.

"Well," she waved a hand and stepped around him, "you'd be where you're supposed to be."

"And where is that?" Han followed her out of the cabin.

"I don't know," she huffed. "But you wouldn't be obligated to take me to Sullust."

"Who said I was taking you to Sullust?" Han smugly frowned.

Leia stopped and turned around, her large brown eyes wide. Then she recovered, replacing her look of surprise with her regal, senatorial expression, "Weren't those the coordinates to Sullust you programmed into the hyperdrive?"

The right side of Han's lips quirked up, "Maybe we changed the coordinates while you were sleepin'."

Leia rolled her eyes and continued on, "Well, I hope you drop me off at a place that at least has interstellar public transportation. The last thing I'd want is to have to hire another mercenary pilot."

_Bad joke. _"Hey!" Han caught her arm and pulled her to a stop. "Do you really think I'd dump you just anywhere?"

Leia jerked her arm out of his hand, "You left."

"What?"

"You said you were going to leave, and you left."

Han's face pinched, "You're not makin' sense."

Leia turned away and stormed toward the galley. "You left!" she repeated.

"Not without you," he continued after her.

"Only because of my innate meddling droids!" Leia muttered loud enough for Han to hear. Then she stopped and pointed a finger at him, "_I'm not supposed to be here._" She turned on her heel and walked away.

"Leia stop!" Han yelled, and she jumped but obeyed his command.

The princess slowly turned around and icily stared at the ship's captain, "What?"

"You're here," Han shrugged. "Do I look upset about it?"

She glared into his hazel eyes searching for anger and frustration, but instead she found concern and…What? Something she couldn't, wouldn't acknowledge. She inhaled and lifted her chin, "You're a Sabaac player, and a good one from what I hear. I wouldn't know if your expression is sincere or not."

"That's not fair!"

The pair reached the galley, and their heated conversation abruptly ended. Leia was relieved. Chewie growled and beckoned her to the seat next to him. The droids were also in the cramped galley cleaning up the mess the Wookie made and arguing between themselves.

Han sat down at the head of the small table. He glanced at the droids, "Will you two shut up?"

"Of course, Captain Solo," Threepio kicked Artoo.

Leia passed the seat Chewbacca offered her and went straight for the kaffe pot. She rose to her tip-toes, retrieved a mug, and poured herself a generous amount of kaffe. Then she sat on the chair Chewie offered her, which was located between the large Wookie and the ship's grumpy captain. Chewbacca filled a plate and placed it in front of her.

"No thank you," she held her hand up in front of the plate. "I'm not hungry."

Chewie grumbled. Han filled his own plate, "You didn't eat anything yesterday. How could you not be hungry?"

Leia narrowed her eyes and glared at him, "I'm _just not._"

Chewbacca emitted a low growl, and Han scowled at the princess as he shoved the plate closer to Leia, "You're gonna insult Chewie."

The princess leaned forward and shoved the plate in Han's direction, "This isn't a diplomatic gala. Chewie respects me and would never force anything on me. Unlike some people I know."

Threepio stopped his work and glanced at the table. "Oh, dear," he mumbled. His counterpart reprimanded him for not working.

Ignoring the droid, both Han and Leia swiveled their heads in Chewie's direction to see who he was going to support. Chewie's eyes dropped to his plate, and he shoved his eggs into his mouth as fast as he could.

"You're gonna eat this breakfast," Han pushed the plate back in her direction.

"No…I'm…not!" She shoved it back.

"Yes…you…are," He pushed the plate toward her again and held a fork up.

The princess stood up, took the fork from Han's hand, and picked up the plate piled with more food than she could finish in one sitting. Han sat back and smugly smiled as he stared at the girl. That was easy. She may not want to eat in his company, but at least she was going to eat.

But Leia had other intentions. She threw the fork onto the table and dumped the plate over Han's head. Chewbacca, Threepio, and Artoo froze.

"Oh, dear," Threepio squeaked again.

Leia now was the one to wear the smug smile. She spun around and headed out of the galley. But her triumphant exit was foiled as a hand grabbed her arm hard and twirled her around. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open when she saw the rage in Han's eyes. She had never seen him that angry before, at least not at her no matter how heated their disagreements got. She turned away from him, twisting and wiggling her arm in hopes that she could free herself.

Han stood up and jerked her by the arm, "If you're gonna act like a child, then I'm gonna treat you like a child!"

"Captain—"

Chewie cut Threepio off with a sharp growl. He watched Han pull the princess out of the galley before he returned to his breakfast.

"Stop!" Leia could hardly keep up with Han's angry pace, "Let me go! You're hurting me!"

Han slightly loosened his hold on her and said nothing. When he reached his cabin, he shoved her inside but didn't let her go like Leia thought he would. He wrestled her out of his heavy parka and discarded it on the floor. Leia tried to retrieve it, but Han wouldn't allow that. Instead, he dragged her over to the bed and sat down. With one swift flip of the arm, the princess found herself splayed over Han's lap.

"Let me go!" she demanded as she tried to free herself.

Han kept his legs open wide to support her upper body. Leia's hands' pushed against one of his thighs, and although her actions made him unsteady, he held her in a steadfast grip with his left arm. Intent on teaching her a lesson she wouldn't forget, Han bit his lip, raised his right hand high in the air and….

And froze. Leia still tried to free herself, but her movements slowed. Han realized that she was strategizing. She pressed her hands against his thigh and tried to slide her way out of his grip to no avail. Han's hold on her was too firm, and she didn't move a centimeter. Surmising from Leia's inept attempt to escape made Han doubt that she ever found herself in this position before. Nevertheless, that didn't prevent the fiery princess from fighting.

Han gazed upon her backside, which he managed to keep still. He slowly lowered his hand. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He gently rested his hand on the center of her backside as his mind replayed their fight leading up to breakfast. _She believes I left her._ Han closed his eyes. _I was leaving her, abandoning her._ His heart constricted. He didn't realize that the stoic princess would be so affected by his departure, that she'd even take it so personally. No, he was only thinking of himself. As usual.

Han's fingers registered the velvety softness of her sweat pants. He absent-mindedly moved his hand in tiny circles over her backside as he closed his eyes and focused on his respiration. Tears burned behind his eyelids. _I caused her more pain. I hurt her._ He dropped his head as his shame burned through his nerves. This is what happens with attachments. It was better to not become attached, and if that happens, it's better to break that attachment fast. And that meant running away and not looking back.

However, this time he had no choice but to look back. What he was running from was lying across his lap, rather calm, he noted. Han couldn't run from the damage he caused this time. No, even if he could dump her off on the closest port, he wouldn't do that. He would face the consequences and bear her contempt for him no matter how much it pained him. It was the least he could do for her.

Leia stopped struggling when Han laid his hand on her backside. She froze, though her body remained relaxed. His hand created a warm spot. Then his hand began to move in gentle circles, inciting a warm tingling stimulation everywhere he touched. This warmth spread from her loins and traveled to her stomach. Leia's eyes fluttered closed, and she rested her head on Han's thigh. Her breathing slowed, and her body continued to absorb his heat until it reached every single one of her cells. Leia sighed. Her body defrosted, and Hoth felt like a nightmare that began fading from her memory. She bit her lip, relishing the physical sensation of Han's hand upon her. The thin material of her worn sweatpants didn't hinder their connection. His hand was there, he was there. _Han chased the chill from her bones._ Leia wanted to stay lying across his lap forever.

_But he wasn't going to be around to keep her warm forever._ The princess lifted her head and torso while she rested her elbows on his thigh. Han realized what he was doing. He waited for her to flip around and slap him hard like he deserved, but her eyes remained focused on the floor.

"I'm sorry," he said. _I'm sorry for treating you like a child, for touching you inappropriately, for being angry at you…. for ever thinking about leaving you in the first place._

The princess didn't say anything. Han tenderly grabbed her around her chest as if she was made of porcelain and stood her up between his legs. Leia's eyes remained glued to the floor, and at that moment Han would give his life to have those large brown eyes look into his. He encircled her waist with his arms and pulled her to him. She resisted, but he didn't fault her for her reluctance to be near him. He hated himself too. Her feet shuffled her forward until she stood several centimeters away from him. Solo tightened his embrace but was careful not to make her feel threatened. Leia's hands remained at her sides. Han didn't care. He didn't expect her to ever want to hug him again. But right now…right now, he needed to hold her. Han rested his forehead against her stomach and then pressed his face against her rough thermal shirt, inhaling her scent as he breathed.

_Whatever may come, I'll take it by your side._ Han promised, ignoring the whispers in the back of his head that chided him for making a promise he couldn't keep.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10:

Princess Leia felt light-headed, queasy, and cold. She turned up the thermostat once again. Han said that this cabin, his cabin, had the only working thermostat on the ship, and if she was really that cold then she had no choice but to stay in his cabin. Leia suspected Han wasn't being completely truthful. However, his reasoning did seem plausible. Most things on this dumpy ship didn't work.

Still donning Han's parka, Leia slipped under the covers. She pulled the hood of the parka over her head, grabbed the datapad on the desk next to the bed, and scanned its contents for something interesting to read. Her lips pursed when she came across a novel by one of her favorite authors. She hadn't read this one. Leia sighed. This piece of literature must have been released sometime over the last three years, reminding her of all the things she was missing living underground. She searched for the date it was published, but there wasn't any. Her lips slid into a slight smile as she realized that it was a bootleg. Han must have acquired it the way he normally got his hands on rare commodities: the black market. Leia was both surprised and grateful that Han's taste in literature matched hers.

She slid deeper under her covers and began reading. But her mind drifted away from the words on the screen and lit upon the man who owned the datapad. Leia slipped her hand into the pocket that housed the note Han placed on the coat when he left it on her bed.

"Stay warm, Leia. Han."

She didn't pull the note from her pocket, but she did rub her fingers over and over the flimsy. She shivered and scrunched her body into a ball. Leia closed her eyes and the datapad dropped from her hand. Her body urged her to seek him out, let him touch her in hope that he could relieve her chill like he did earlier that morning. But Han could refuse her, snap at her, insult her, _hurt her_ and she couldn't take any more pain. Her pain weighed heavily upon her, threatening to suffocate her and break her into a million pieces.

But he could be gentle, caring, and accommodating. It hadn't been easy for her to be stuck on the _Falcon_ when she knew she wasn't wanted, and it must have been as equally awkward and frustrating for him to be stuck with her.

"_You left."_

"_No without you."_

_No without me._ Leia hugged herself. She didn't understand why he came back for her when he was in such a hurry to leave her. Nor did she understand Han's sudden switch in emotions earlier that morning. Leia understood his anger and his roughness; she wasn't surprised. Han must have been holding in a lot of animosity toward her, and her attitude and behavior obviously pushed him over his limits.

However, Han's sudden tenderness, his gentle touch, his apology, the way he held her, pressed his face against her stomach…why? Did he pity her? Leia scowled. She didn't want his pity. She laid her hand on her abdomen where Han had rested his head, and her eyes automatically closed. She inhaled deeply. Leia swore she could feel his warm breath penetrating the thick material of her thermal shirt. Her stomach performed little flips, easing the queasiness insider her. His touch, his embrace that she wouldn't return, it was about him more than it was about her. Leia hugged herself again as his hurt and fear filled her soul. _Han hurts._

Leia opened her eyes and raised them to the ceiling as she fought to hold back her tears. Her chest rose and fell. Other than Luke, she had never felt someone else's pain as deep as she did Han's. His pain became hers, mingled and intertwined into an electric wire that flickered and twitched, burning every nerve in her body. Her body trembled under this new sensation. The pain was almost unbearable, but she had no choice but to bear it. Her queasiness returned and the room seemed to spin as an icy chill settled, once again, in her bones.

A knock on her door caused her to jump and sit up straight like her aunts taught her. Chewie rumbled and woofed and beckoned her with a large hairy paw.

"I'm busy," she bit her lip knowing Chewbacca wouldn't believe her.

He shook his head and entered the room. Leia rolled her eyes and sighed, but she allowed the large Wookie guide her out of the bed and through the curved corridors. When they entered the lounge, Leia's eyes darted around in search for the captain of the ship. He wasn't around, and Leia wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. Chewbacca twirled her around in a circle, inciting a smile from the sad girl, and he seated her at the holotable.

"I don't know if I'm up for a game," her smile faded. "Maybe you should play with Artoo."

Chewie growled and Artoo angrily twittered.

Leia cringed, "Sorry I suggested that." She looked into Chewbacca's eager blue eyes, puffed out her cheeks, and exhaled, "Fine. But I get to be the Frobs."

Chewie agreed and he flipped the game on. Shimmery holograms appeared on the table.

"You first," she offered.

As Chewbacca contemplated his move, Leia glanced around at the vents. Han must have been right about thermostat in his room. She pulled her hood over her head and squeezed her knees against her chest before zipping up the parka. Chewie watched her as his hand hovered over the controls.

Leia narrowed her dark eyes on the Wookie, "How long are you going to take to make your move, _the first move_ of the game?"

Chewie scowled and muttered something Leia interpreted as a sour remark. She ignored him and swiftly moved one of her pieces. Chewbacca sat up and looked at her. Then he pulled on the hair on his chin, contemplating his move. Leia rested her own chin on her knees as she waited for him to make his move. She gazed upon the shimmery figures. The animated characters seemed lifelike in their movements, like tiny sentient beings. _Sentient beings that she controlled_. Leia rubbed her nose and made her move. She pressed her lips together as her piece grabbed one of Chewbacca's and held it over its head before squeezing the "life" out of it. Leia stared at the "dead" hologram and Luke came to mind.

_Luke_…Leia swallowed as Luke's scratched face popped into her mind. Han reluctantly told her that it looked as if Luke was attacked by some animal. Leia didn't know there was indigenous life on Hoth. The rebels imported the tauntauns. With so much blinding snow and wind, she never imagined…Leia pressed her lips together. Echo Base was her responsibility, and her carelessness caused Luke's death.

Chewbacca grunted, and the princess looked at the board. Chewie had moved one of his pieces, and she surmised he was telling her it was her turn. One of her pieces was in prime position to destroy Chewie's. This piece would tear its opponent to pieces with its jagged teeth. That move would give her the upper hand. Her fingers hovered over the controls.

Chewbacca looked up at her. Leia chose a different piece than Chewie had anticipated which worked in his favor. Instead of destroying his piece, she programmed another piece to move to another square.

Just then Han sauntered into the lounge from the cockpit. He locked eyes with Leia and quickly looked away. "I'll be in the south duct if you need me."

Without looking up from the game Chewie grumbled an affirmative and made his move.

Leia rested her head on her knees, "I can't concentrate, Chewie. I have a headache."

Chewbacca nodded and deactivated the game.

Leia slipped her legs out from beneath the parka, "Do you have any painkillers?"

Chewie tilted his head and scrutinized his opponent. Leia pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, "Please, my head is killing me."

The Wookie stood up and waved a hand at her. The princess shoved her hands in her pockets, wrapping one hand around Luke's light saber and the other around Han's note, and followed Chewie to the galley. Chewbacca mumbled under his breath as he reached up to the highest shelf in the cabinet. He pulled out a tiny bottle filled with oval-shaped white pills. He popped the cap off and handed one to Leia's ready hand.

"Thank you," she smiled as she retrieved a glass and headed over to the sink.

Chewbacca emitted a low, chastising rumble. Leia frowned but took the glass of milk from her tall friend. She supposed the milk would help with her nausea. She laid the pill below her tongue and chased it down with a big gulp of milk. The princess carried the milk as she and Chewie returned to the lounge. She settled in on the chair nearest the navigation console, slouched down, and sipped the milk.

"We should make Artoo and Threepio play each other," Leia suggested with a hint of a devilish smile.

Chewie roared and slapped his knee.

"Mistress Leia," Threepio glanced between the Wookie and the princess. "I really don't feel like playing."

"What else do you have to do?" Leia asked.

"Well…"

Both Chewbacca and Leia knew Han had banned Threepio from working on any more repairs after some mistake the droid made that left Han covered in a thick oozy substance from head to toe. Neither Leia nor Chewie knew exactly what Threepio did, but they had to endure twenty minutes of Han's ranting and raving.

"I see your point," Threepio conceded. "Come on, Artoo."

The stout droid rolled up to the holotable, twittering with excitement.

"What do you mean I'm no match for you?" C-3PO snapped. "Let's just start the game!"

Han dropped out of the duct with grease and dirt smeared on his face, shirt and arms. He frowned when he saw the droids at the holotable and Chewbacca cheering on Artoo. Then his hazel eyes fell upon the princess. Her large brown eyes were wide, and her lips were wrapped around the rim of a glass of milk. They froze as if both were unsure of what to do or say. Han's lips twitched, but he didn't smile. Her eyes were so wide…He dropped his eyes to the floor. He shouldn't have been surprised that she feared him. He gave her plenty of reason to be afraid of him, to hate him. He looked up at her again, wanting to apologize over and over until she accepted it. But Leia's attention was now focused on the holotable. He frowned; an infinite amount of apologies couldn't fix the horrible way he treated her. Han noticed the glass in her hands. _She's drinking milk._ At least he could take some comfort in that. Han stalked through the lounge.

"I'm gonna take a shower," he mumbled.

The princess' eyes snapped up and stayed glued on Han's back as he stormed away. _Don't leave_. Leia bit the edge of the glass. The pain in her head pounded against her ears and she winced. She wanted Han to come back, to just be in the lounge with everyone. _With her even if he didn't speak to her._ Leia removed the glass from her mouth. He didn't want to be around her. A sharp pain pierced her stomach. She gulped down the last of the milk.

"I'm going to get more milk," she announced as she stood up and held the empty glass out.

No one took notice, and Leia was relieved. She rushed to the galley and placed the empty glass on the counter. She opened the cabinet that Chewie had opened earlier, the one that housed the bottle of painkillers. Leia licked her lips as she climbed on the counter. She stretched her arm and her fingers flailed around, but the top shelf remained out of reach. Leia sighed. She grabbed the cabinet door and pulled herself up to her feet. She then felt around until her fingers wrapped around the tiny bottle. Leia held it up to her eyes just to make sure she had the right bottle.

The princess ran her bottom lip through her teeth as she looked down. Climbing up was the easy part. She slipped the bottle of painkillers into the pocket where Luke's saber was safely tucked away. Leia ran her fingers along the cold hilt before she closed the cabinet door. She balanced on her tip-toes as she squatted down and placed her hands on the cold counter. Leia sat down, curled her fingers around the edge of the counter, and pushed herself off of the counter.

Leia decided to refill her glass with milk before she took the pills. After filling the glass, she opened the pill bottle and dropped one into her hand. The girl chewed the inside of her cheek as she stared at the oval white pill. The first one Chewbacca gave her didn't seem to be working at all. The shooting pains in her head hadn't receded in the least bit, nor did the throbbing pain in her body. She doubted only one wouldn't be sufficient. Leia shook the pill bottle over her hand until another pill dropped into her hand. She snapped the cap back onto the bottle and looked up at the cabinet. She lacked the energy to climb up again so she left the pill bottle on the counter. Leia then popped the pills in her mouth and swallowed both of them with a generous amount of milk before returning to the lounge.

Chewbacca watched Leia as she walked across the lounge to the seat she occupied earlier. He gurrwaffed, and she looked at him. Artoo and Threepio were no longer playing the hologame, and she noticed how quiet it was. Chewie must have shooed them out of the lounge.

"Where are the droids?" she asked though she couldn't understand Shyriiwook.

Chewie grumbled and waved a hand in the direction of the cockpit. Leia nodded. She held her glass of milk close to her chest with two hands as she went to sit next to the Wookie on the cushioned lounge bench. Leia quietly sipped her milk.

After a few moments, she glanced at Chewie, "What do you and Han do from getting bored?"

Chewbacca shrugged and waved his hand around the room.

Leia snorted, "Repairs. Why didn't I figure that out?"

The Wookie nodded and chuckled.

"Anything else?"

He reached under the holotable and opened a drawer. He then placed a stack of cards on the table. He pushed the cards towards the princess. Leia finished her milk and put the glass down on the table.

"Sure. Anything but Sabaac," she picked up the pile of cards and shuffled them. "My head hurts too much to think."

Chewie moaned and placed a large hand on her head. He gently massaged the top of her head before moving to the back and then to her forehead. Leia closed her eyes and sighed, "That feels good."

He growled and removed his hand.

"How about a game of Yuvum?"

Chewie nodded and Leia passed out the cards. They played the game in silence. The painkillers began to take effect and although her pain didn't disappear, it was a little duller, and she cared less about everything that pressed down upon her. She even smiled when her move trumped Chewbacca's.

Leia wasn't sure how many games they played, but her light-headedness increased and her stomach churned. She put her cards down, "I'm tired, Chewie. Would it be okay to end this game?"

Chewbacca shrugged and collected the cards.

"I think I'll go lie down."

"The princess stood up and knocked the glass off of the table. It shattered into pieces, "Oh, Krest!"

Chewbacca jumped up and immediately went to her side. Leia crouched down began picking up the broken pieces. He helped her. When they both stood up, Leia's eyes drooped. Chewie took the pieces of glass from her hands and nudged her towards the crew's cabin with his body.

"Thank you."

With a hand pressed against the bulkhead she slowly made her way to Han's cabin. Maybe those two extra pills weren't a good idea. Then again, she felt numb and cushioned inside herself. Her pain, both physical and emotional, seemed unfocused and distant. She had a flavor of relief and she coveted it as much as she could under the numbing effect of those pills.

Leia finally reached Han's cabin. She let go of the wall and took a step toward his room. Her legs buckled, and she crashed to the floor.

"Damn," she muttered.

The princess placed her hands on the floor and positioned her knees underneath her. She then moved one leg so that her foot remained solid on the floor. Leia pushed against her hands and foot and attempted to move her other leg into the same position as the first. To no avail; she had no strength to climb to her feet.

Leia dropped back down to the floor and laid her hand upon her face. It wasn't that far to the bed. Surely, she could make it. She cursed under her breath and crawled into the cabin. The princess sighed and smiled when she reached the bed.

But Leia's smile faded as she realized that she could never get into that bed in the state that she was in.

"Aw, nerf fodder."

Leia dropped to the floor and rolled onto her back.

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Han Solo toweled off his body. He wiped the fog off of the mirror and took a peek at his reflection. He scowled at his reflection, threw the towel over his head, and rigorously rubbed his hair. He dropped the towel and looked at his reflection again with more disgust than the first time.

Han then looked at his clothes which were covered in grease. He hadn't thought of grabbing any clean clothes before he took the shower. He pressed his lips together and stared at his dirty clothes. Leia was in the lounge last he saw her. She could still be there.

However, he dawdled in the shower to avoid everyone. He might have been in there long enough for her to tire of Chewie's and the droids' company. She might be in his cabin. Han started to wrap a towel around his waist and opened the refresher door. Then he paused. If Leia was in there, she definitely wouldn't appreciate him showing up in a towel. Han grunted, pulled his pants on, and made his way to his cabin.

Solo stopped just short of the door and knocked on the wall next to it, "Hey, Your Worship. I need to get some clothes."

"Come in."

At least that's what he thought she said. Han stepped into the doorway and found her arms and legs spread out like she the time she made her snow angel on Hoth, "What are you doing on the floor?"

"I'm resting," she mumbled as she fought to open her eyes.

"What's wrong with the bed?"

"Too far away."

Han walked over to her and stared at her stretched out form, "You're lying right next to it."

"It's too far away."

Han's brow knitted, "You're lying less than a meter away."

Leia closed her eyes and forcefully exhaled, "It's too tall."

"Have you been drinking?"

Her eyes opened into slits and her nose scrunched, "What? I have a headache."

"Are you feeling sick?" he knelt down beside her and touched her forehead. Cold and clammy.

"Chewie!" Han yelled. He got up and then used the intercom to call him. "Chewie! Somethin's wrong with Leia."

Then he turned his attention back to the princess, "Leia! Come on. Open your eyes."

"I'm tired."

Han slipped his hands underneath her arms and lifted her into a sitting position. She couldn't hold herself up and ended up leaning against Han's bare chest.

The heat of Han's bear skin and to Leia his heat seemed to penetrate the thick parka. Leia snuggled in, "You're warm."

"What?"

Chewbacca rushed into the room and the droids showed behind him.

"Oh, dear! What's wrong with Princess Leia?"

Han glanced up at Chewie, "Feel her forehead. I think she's sick."

"I'm tired," she muttered.

Chewie sat back on his haunches and ruffed and whortled.

"How many did you give her?" Han yelled. Chewie's volume matched Han's. Han shook his head and looked down at her, "One wouldn't do this to her. Do you think--?"

Han tipped Leia's head up so that he could look into her face, "How many did you take?"

"Take what?" her eyes fluttered open and closed.

"Painkillers!"

"Chewie gave me one," she reported.

Han glared at his best friend, ready to lay into him with all the rage he had.

"Then I took two more," Leia confessed.

"Why?"

Her large brown eyes opened and she gazed into Han's eyes, "I had a headache."

"Why three?"

She closed her eyes and dropped her head, "It was a really bad headache." She yawned, "I might have taken too many."

"You think?" Han tried to control his anger.

"My headache is gone," she ignored him. "No I think it's still there. I just don't care about the pain anymore."

"Of course you don't," Han sniped. "Vicodin will do that too you for awhile."

Han gently slipped his parka off of her, careful not to remind her about how rough he was when he removed it in the morning. He cringed at the memory, but he pushed away his self-loathing. She needed his full attention right now.

"Go get somethin' to make her throw up," Han ordered Chewbacca. Chewie shook his head and grumbled.

"She's small and light. You don't know if it is or isn't enough to kill her," Han picked Leia up in arms and started toward the refresher, "I'm not takin' any chances."

"I'll go get something, Captain Solo," Threepio disappeared and Artoo followed him.

"Are you gonna help me?" Han asked.

Chewbacca reached the refresher first and cleared away Han's discarded towel and dirty clothes. Han sat behind Leia as he positioned her in front of the toilet.

"Please don't make me throw up," Leia whined in a way that reminded Han of Luke. _Luke died because he was too late_. If he waits to see if Leia can sleep it off, he could be too late again.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart," he whispered into her ear and placed a light kiss on the crown of her head. "I can't take any risks."

"I was drugged on the Death Star with much stronger medication," she said before she yawned. "Three Vicodin won't kill me. Just let me sleep."

Han squeezed his eyes shut. Does he force his will upon her like Vader? Or does he honor her wishes? He sighed. Leia didn't take very well care of herself, and she seemed to be getting worse at it. He shook his head, "You yourself said you might have taken too much."

Leia turned in his arms, and her head flopped back, "'Might' being the key word."

Han shifted his arm to support her head. She placed a hand on his bare chest. Han sucked in a breath at the shock of her cold hand and the electric heat it caused.

"Please. I hate throwing up," she gazed up at him with large pleading eyes.

He looked away, "Luke would kill me if I let you die."

Leia touched his face, "Luke won't even know."

Han felt like he himself was going to throw up. He positioned her in front of the toilet, "I'm not gonna have your death on my conscious too."

The princess laid her hand upon the arm that supported her. "Han, it wasn't your fault."

"Threepio clattered into the tight refresher, "We have something, although I doubt it will help. Artoo insisted a spoon would do the job."

"Thanks, Artoo," Han took the spoon and flipped it around in his hand so that the handle faced the princess. "Come on," he urged her to her knees. "Do this…" _for me._ But why would Leia do anything for him? "Do this for Luke."

Leia's eyes popped open. "Not fair," she whispered.

"Nothin's ever fair, princess," Han reminded her. "Open up…please."

Leia closed her eyes. If she threw up the pills, would her numbness go away? She didn't have much time to ponder that question. Han shoved the handle of the spoon down her throat until she gagged. She coughed and coughed before the contents of her stomach came up.

The princess leaned back on Han and wiped the tears from her eyes. Chewbacca handed her a glass of water, and Leia took a swig and spit it out in the toilet. Then she drank it, breathing into the cup in between swallows. Han took the glass from her and gave it to Chewie.

"Will Princess Leia be okay?" Threepio inquired.

_No._ "Yeah," Han muttered.

Leia breathed hard and wiped at her eyes, "I hate throwing up."

"I hated making you do it," Han grunted. "Don't make me do it again." He looked up at his best friend, "Chewie, help her to her cabin."

Chewbacca grumbled and Han shook his head. "I gotta finish gettin' dressed."

The Wookie took Leia's hands and pulled her to her feet. Although her steps were shaky, Leia managed to walk back to Han's cabin.

Solo stayed seated on the floor.

"Captain Solo, do you need anything else from us?"

Han looked up at the droids, noticing them for the first time. He shook his head, and Threepio and Artoo quickly disappeared. Han touched Luke's pendant that still encircled his neck. What was he going to do with Leia without Luke? He couldn't help her. Hell, he couldn't help himself. There was something magical about his young naïve late friend. Maybe it was his inane optimism. The three of them worked well together, and Luke was the one who balanced them out.

Han buried his head in his hands. He missed Luke more than he ever thought possible. And although Han envied Luke's relationship with Leia at times, Luke was good for her. Luke was good for Han as well. But…Luke and Leia…Han wanted her to be happy. He always did, especially after the horrors she endured. And Luke made her happy. Han always wished he could make her just as happy….

All he managed to do was make her miserable. He snorted. And she was upset because he was leaving. Han couldn't figure out why.

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As everyone slept, Han Solo leaned back in the pilot's seat and watched the streaks of stars pass by. When did his life get so out of control? That was an easy question. It was the moment he agreed to transport Luke and that old man to Alderaan. No, that wasn't true. It was the moment he agreed to help Luke rescue the princess. The promise of a reward so large that he couldn't imagine was something not to be turned down. Rescue a princess, collect the reward, and pay off Jabba.

But the moment he saw the feisty, fearless girl whose wit and ideas came as fast, if not faster, than his and didn't think twice about insulting a Wookie, the money meant nothing. And that was the moment his life became a whirlwind of forces beyond his control. She was intriguing and infuriating and obstinate and stubborn. She was beautiful and caring and soft and loyal and strong…and fragile.

Princess Leia suffered over Alderaan in silence, throwing her complete self in the underground fight to destroy the Empire. As far as Han knew, Leia hadn't dealt with Luke's death at all. But then, Han hadn't either. How alike the he and Leia were, pushing down things they didn't want to deal with. However, Luke's death was too much for either them to bear, maybe harder for Leia. Han sometimes was jealous of the close relationship between the princess and the young pilot. He wanted what they had with Leia, but he sometimes felt shut out when he saw the two with their heads together, sharing secrets, and laughing. Han and Chewie had the same kind of connection, but…why was it so hard between Leia and him?

Pride. Pride held him back. If she rejected his friendship, him, he would have been crushed. It was better to capture her attention by making her angry, upset, and embarrassed than to have no attention from her at all. Becoming so attached to Luke and Leia wasn't the biggest mistake he ever made. His biggest mistake was letting his pride interfere. And now, with only three days left until they reached Sullust, it was too late.

Han's fingers rubbed the stone that Luke's father intended for him to have. He meant to give it to Leia, but with all the animosity and anger between them, he didn't feel there had been a right time to give it to her. Maybe he could get Chewbacca to give it to her. Chewbacca managed to get Leia to drink some milk, and even if that wasn't quite the size of a meal she needed, it was something.

Something he made her throw up as he tried to empty her stomach of those pills. Leia stayed in her room the rest of the day. Han decided not to disturb her even at meal times. He worried about her lack of consuming any substance, but he could not swallow another showdown with her that day. His stomach still churned at the memory, and he even skipped their evening meal. Han chewed on the inside of his cheek. Eventually, the stubborn girl would get so hungry that she'd something.

But it had already been three days, and Han wasn't sure when she last ate something at Echo Base.

Han sighed. Leia was who Leia was. His presence or absence wouldn't change who she was. And Han's own grief made taking care of her more difficult. She was a constant reminder of Luke and not just because he met the pair together. There were shadowy hints of Luke in some of her expressions and her body language. Leia was Leia, but she definitely picked up some of Luke's mannerisms during the time they spent together. Could Han live with that reminder on a daily basis?

And there was a price on his head. That wasn't something Han was even including in his dilemma. He didn't completely lie to her when he told her that he was leaving to pay off his debt. Who would take care of Leia if… when he left? _I'm sorry…I ever thought of leaving you._ He didn't say that out loud when he held her over his lap. He made no promises to her. But leaving her…

Luke…the hurt look in his eyes, his slightly open frown as the boy stared up at him when he realized that Han was truly leaving right before Luke was going to pilot his first X-Wing against the Death Star…that look was burned into Han's mind. Luke would glare at him with that same look if he knew Han was considering abandoning Leia.

His pain felt crippling. Han would be abandoning her to her death. But then, he couldn't prevent Luke's death. He was bound to fail her too. Han closed his eyes, squeezing them tight. Leia was dying right in front of his eyes. He had already failed her.

Han jumped when Princess Leia appeared standing next to him. At first he thought he fell asleep and was dreaming.

Han tipped his head up to look into her face, "What's wrong?"

"I'm cold."

Han looked her up and down. She wore three pairs of socks, his old sweater, and his parka with the hood hanging over her eyes. She had a blanket wrapped tightly around her, and he was certain she had thermals underneath all those clothes.

"The thermostat not workin'?"

"It is."

"Come 'ere," he sat up and took the blanket from her. "Take off that coat."

Although Leia's countenance pinched into confusion, she did as he said. Han took the parka from her as well. She immediately hunched over and hugged herself.

"Here," he patted, "sit on my lap."

Leia bit her lip as she climbed onto his lap. Han arranged her so that she faced away from the canopy and could pull her feet up to rest on his thigh.

"Put your arm in here," he instructed.

The princess slipped her arm into one of the sleeves of the parka so that if she was to put it on the rest of the way it would be on backwards. Han arranged the coat so that it lied across her body and tucked it under her toes. Han paused when he touched her feet. How could they be so cold under all those socks? He touched her cheeks and noticed her lips were blue. _Just like Luke's…_

Han pushed that thought out of his mind. "Hm," he frowned. "You are freezing."

"I know."

Han's heart sped up a bit, and he fought to control it. He had thought her complaints about the temperature had to do with her slow recovery from the icy conditions on Hoth, and here on the _Falcon_, he thought it was all in her head since Chewie adjusted the heat to the point it was getting uncomfortably warm. And his cabin where she slept was like a sauna. How could she be so cold?

Completely at a loss, Han took the blanket and wrapped it around both of them, tucking it around both of his shoulders and under her feet and backside, creating a pocket that enveloped the girl. Han slumped down and rested his feet upon the console, tipping Leia so that she was cradled between his lap and upper body. She held her hands clasped under her chin and rested her head on Han's shoulder and chest. Han wrapped his arms around her, hoping he could warm her up. But if the heating system on the _Falcon_ couldn't, what chance did he have?

However, what else could he do?

"I don't think I'll ever be warm again," Leia confessed in a quiet, child-like voice.

Han placed a kiss upon the crown of her head. "I'll keep you warm," he whispered into her hair, hoping he could keep his promise.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11:

Han opened his eyes as a sleepy grumble sounded from his left. He turned his head to find Chewie, hair standing up and out all over his body, slouching in the co-pilot's seat.

"'Mornin'," Han mumbled.

Chewie gorgled, and Han snorted, "I definitely didn't miss your snorin'."

Chewbacca yawned and stretched his arms and back. He then grunted and nodded in the princess direction.

Han looked down at her. Her face was tipped up toward him, and he involuntarily smiled at her peaceful countenance. Her cheeks were as rosy as her parted lips. Then he became aware of her warm hand that had slipped under his shirt. He raised an eyebrow but didn't mention his discovery to his best friend.

"Honestly, I don't know what happened," Han shook his head as he continued to stare down at her. "She just appeared and said she was cold."

Chewie's gurr had a teasing lilt to it. Han glared at his friend, "No, I didn't take an advantage of her. Do I look like I did?"

Chewbacca voiced his opinion, and Han's brow furrowed, "Well, I didn't!" He looked down at the princess again, and his expression softened. "I didn't know what to do. We've turned up the heat. Have you been into my cabin?" Chewie rolled his eyes and waved a hand at his face. "Yeah, you don't have to tell me about it."

Han paused as he studied the healthy color of her cheeks and lips. He shook his head, "When she came to me, she was ice cold and her lips were blue." He looked up at his best friend, his hazel eyes haunted, "She scared me."

Chewbacca worghued. Han's lips pulled up to the right, "Yeah, maybe she's sick. And I was so hard on her."

Chewie placed a hand on Han's head and mumbled words meant to console his best friend.

"Touch her face. See if she's warmed up, will ya'?" Chewie humped and tilted his head. Han frowned, "She would've woken up by now. She must be really tired."

The Wookie gently placed his fingers against Leia's cheek and quietly purred to reassure Han that her temperature seemed to be in normal range for humans.

"Do you think her body just picked up my temperature?"

Chewie shook his head and rose from his seat as he reassured Han once again.

"Nah, I'm gonna wait until she wakes up," Han answered. "Hey?"

Chewbacca put his hands on his hips, obviously impatient to eat breakfast.

Han's face reflected his optimism, "Do ya' think she'll be hungry and eat this morning?"

Chewie shrugged.

"Maybe she wasn't eatin' cos she wasn't feelin' well. She looks a lot better. Look at the color in her face."

Chewbacca mumbled, giving Han an ambiguous answer. But Han took it as confirmation of his assumptions concerning the princess' wellbeing. The Wookie grunted and started toward the door.

"Hey, buddy?"

Chewie stopped in his tracks, rested one hand on his hip, and tilted his head.

"Can ya' take the pendant around my neck off?"

Chewie chortled, and Han scowled, "No, I'm not wearin' jewelry. It's Luke's. His father made it for him. I'm wearin' it cos I didn't wanna lose it. I want to give it to Leia, but I don't wanna wake her."

Chewie sighed but did what Han asked. He held up the pendant and grunted. Han stared at the pendant as well. "The ol' man gave it to him. Told him that his mother wanted him to have it. The stone's from Naboo."

The aged Wookie stared at the stone as if he was hypnotized by it, and memories of another time came to mind. He couldn't figure out why this simple stone evoked these long forgotten memories of the Clone Wars. The pendant disturbed him though he didn't know why.

"Can ya' slip it over Leia's head?"

Chewie pressed his lips together as he looked upon Han's relaxed expression. Han hadn't seemed as content as he was at this moment since before he returned with Luke's body. The wise Wookie was right; Leia needed Han just as Han needed Leia. How long would this peace between the two last? Chewie suspected not long, but for their own sake, they needed to figure out how good they were for each other before time runs out.

"Come on, Chewie," Han pushed. "And be sure not to wake her."

Chewie frowned at the pendant. He may not have any Force powers, but Wookie instincts were almost as good and most of the time extremely accurate. There was something not right about this pendant, but he'd never convince Han of that. It was Luke's. Han may claim he didn't believe in the Force, but when Luke had his "feelings", Han listened to the boy. Also, the pendant was Luke's so Han wouldn't believe there was anything bad about it. Chewie gently slipped the pendant over Leia's head and pulled her mussed tail of hair through the leather tether.

"Thanks, pal."

Chewbacca nodded and hurried out of the cockpit.

Han smiled down at the sleeping girl in his arms. The light of the stars streaking by illuminated her face, making her look angelic. He imagined how she would look in the morning light of a sun, or suns. He glanced up at the canopy and gazed upon the view that was comforting, familiar, the view he loved best. Han always felt more at home in space than he did on land.

But at this moment, he found himself longing to be somewhere quiet, somewhere where he could feel the warmth of a sun on his face with Leia sleeping in his arms. He gazed upon her face again, and inhaled slowly. He couldn't imagine his life without her.

However, after all that had transpired between them, after he let Luke die, could she ever forgive him?

Princess Leia stirred in his arms. She pulled her hand out from under his shirt, rubbed her eyes, and yawned. She blinked the sleep away before her eyes focused on Han's face.

"I fell asleep?" she asked but didn't try to sit up or escape his lap.

"Yeah."

"Sorry," she yawned again.

"Why?"

"I'm sure you weren't comfortable," she surmised. "You should have woken me up."

"Couldn't."

Her brow furrowed, "Why?"

He smiled at her, "I fell asleep too."

She returned his smile, though hers wasn't as wide. Leia then pushed the blanket off of them and removed the coat from her arm, letting it fall to the floor. She yawned again.

"You cold?"

Leia slowly shook her head, "No." She bit her lip, "I suppose I have you to thank."

"No," he touched her nose. "Didn't mind it one bit."

"Well, thank you anyway. I feel a lot better than I have in a long time."

Han fought to contain his joy. _He helped her._ Maybe he could fix her, save her. _I couldn't save Luke._ Han pushed that thought down. He hadn't felt this good in a long time, and he didn't want to lose this foreign feeling. He felt optimistic, refreshed.

Leia quickly hugged him and slid off his lap, "I think I'll take a shower."

Han watched her leave and frowned. Every part of his body that she rested upon and touched seemed to have absorbed her chill. He pushed himself to his feet and retrieved the blanket and his parka. He yawned and decided breakfast sounded good. He turned around and noticed the princess frozen in the middle of the cockpit.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" Han's optimism began to melt away.

Leia slowly pivoted so that she faced Han. She held the pendant in her hand, and her mouth formed a tiny 'o'.

"Oh, that." Han pulled the blanket around him. "It was Luke's. He left it in his locker for safe keeping."

Leia lifted her eyes from the pendant and gazed into Han's eyes, "Where did he get it?"

Han shrugged, "He said that ol' man, what was his name?"

"General Kenobi?"

He cleared his throat, "Yeah. Well, General Kenobi gave it to him. Luke's father made it for him, and Luke's mother told Kenobi to give it to him."

The princess stared at the smooth stone and rubbed her finger over the carved markings.

"I thought you might like to have it," Han walked over to her and gazed at the pendant as well.

"You gave me his saber. Don't you…"

"I think you should have it, Leia."

"Thank you," she mumbled as if she was a million kilometers away.

"I…" he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Leia's large brown eyes snapped up, and she looked into his eyes, "You didn't. It's just that…" she rolled her lips between her teeth before continuing, "I have, had one almost exactly like it. The markings on mine were different, but everything else is almost exactly the same. I left it on Alderaan."

Still clutching the blanket around him, Han reached out and caressed her cheek.

"The strange thing is," Leia examined the pendant once again, "my father, adopted father, told me that my biological father made it for me before I was born. He died before my birth. My mother gave it to my adopted father to give to me." She looked up at Han, "She died too."

Han blew air out of his pursed lips, "That's some coincidence."

"Yes, I suppose so," Leia frowned. "Doesn't it disturb you a bit?"

"Honestly," Han stroked her hair, "it kinda freaks me out."

The princess nodded, "Yeah. Me too."

"You okay?"

"Yes," she flashed him a smile that Han didn't find very reassuring. Just when he thought things were improving.

Han handed her his parka, "Just in case you get cold again."

Leia put the parka on and touched his cheek, her hand warm and comforting against his skin. Then her large dark eyes peered into his, and she held his face with both hands. Han's chest constricted as he stared into her eyes. She seemed to be staring straight into his soul.

"You need to take care of yourself," Leia said.

"I'm just fine," Han forced a small lop-sided grin.

She returned a gentle smile, "No you're not, but you're not alone." She walked out of the cabin and called over her shoulder, "I'm going to take a shower."

Han's head spun over the sudden change in the princess' emotions. Although her sadness was still evident in her eyes, she smiled and managed to turn the tables on him. _You're not alone._ Han swore she could feel into the shadows of his soul. Leia had been so fragile and overcome with grief just the night before, and now she was comforting him? Han swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and the optimism he experienced earlier completely faded away.

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Leia dropped her clothes into the washer and climbed into the shower. She programmed the temperature of the water and turned on the shower. The water took a few moments to heat up, and she held her hand under the flow until it reached a temperature that satisfied her. She pulled out the clasp the held her hair in a tail and tilted her head up to the shower head. _Han held her all night as she slept, and now she's warm._ She felt so secure and safe cocooned in his embrace. His smile and gentleness…he seemed happy, and his relaxed attitude made her feel good.

But Leia could feel the pain that swirled underneath that moment of contentment. And she knew that his light-hearted heart would grow heavier and heavier until it would wear him down. She could feel it as if it was her own pain. He focused on her so much that he had been putting aside his own hurt. She wasn't sure how long she could bear his attention knowing this.

Leia opened her mouth and allowed the water to fall in, wishing she could wash away or drown the sickness in her stomach. When her mouth caught as much water as it could hold she spat it out. Leia prepared her scrubber by pouring on the body wash and then began scrubbing her body. As she reached her chest, her fingers brushed against Luke's pendant.

What were the odds that both she and Luke were given almost identical pendants under the same circumstances? It was one hell of a coincidence, but she couldn't think up any logical explanation. Luke lived with his uncle and aunt on the Outer Rim planet Tatooine. She _was_ adopted, but Alderaan was so far away from Tatooine. Was there any connection between these two planets?

General Kenobi. He served her adopted father during the Clone Wars. Her father said that Kenobi went into hiding when the Jedi were being hunted down and killed. Was it just a coincidence that Tatooine was Luke's home planet? Luke told her how he met General Kenobi, Ben, and how it was Ben who gave Luke his father's light saber. Kenobi knew Luke's father and had told Luke that his father was a great Jedi. But she wasn't surprised that one Jedi knew another.

However, it was a little more difficult to ignore the timing of events. General Kenobi came out of hiding as if he knew his services were once again needed, but that wasn't so strange. After all, he _was_ a Jedi. Luke had told Leia that Kenobi saved him from Sand People and that's how he became involved with the old Jedi. It was plausible that Kenobi happened to be in the right place at the right time. That clearly had to be a coincidence, Leia decided as she ran her hands through her hair so that each strand was saturated. Could it possibly have been just a coincidence that while Luke was getting acquainted with the Jedi hero, the _same_ Jedi hero that Leia was to retrieve, the Tantive IV lost its battle against the Star Destroyer, and Leia couldn't complete her mission?

Leia massaged the soap into her hair. Could it also be a coincidence that the droids found their way to General Kenobi? Luke was amazed how Artoo ran away and headed straight toward Ben's home as if knew exactly where he was going. The princess didn't know the coordinates of Kenobi's whereabouts by heart, so she wasn't able to program the coordinates into Artoo. So how was it possible…? She rinsed the soap out of her hair. Maybe that was the Force at work.

She dragged the conditioner through her hair with her fingers and then drew a comb through it to spread the conditioner evenly. Leia smiled to herself. Han would be laughing at her if she mentioned that the Force was interfering with their lives. He made his views of the Force clear and that nothing controls his destiny. Her beliefs were closer to Han's than he'd ever believe. Her father taught her about the Force and how powerful the Jedi were. These peaceful warriors were the keepers of peace.

But if they were so powerful, why were they taken by surprise by the Clones and killed so easily? There were bad Jedi, Sith, her father called them that helped. Leia always believed good destroyed evil every time. She closed her eyes, and her mind traveled to her childhood when she pestered her father with the same question over and over: if the Jedi were powerful and the keepers of peace, then how come they couldn't stop the Old Republic from being destroyed?

Her father never gave her an answer, and Jedi Knights remained fantastical warriors from another time in place only found in fairytales and legends. But Leia couldn't deny the mysterious tricks Luke performed. His abilities were limited and simple, but his skill with his light saber seemed innate as if this skill was in his blood. And Luke believed in the Force and couldn't wait for General Kenobi to train him in Its ways. But Luke's dream was crushed when Vader defeated the famous Jedi on the Death Star. Another example of evil trumping good and a Sith killing the last of the Jedi. Leia's brow furrowed. Could other Jedi have survived and were hiding like Kenobi? She rinsed the conditioner out of her hair. Jedi were cowards. Leia may be underground, hiding in a sense, but she is fighting the injustices of the Emperor's Empire. Why weren't the hiding Jedi?

So much for powerful Jedi who were keepers of the peace. Leia believed the Force existed, but it didn't affect her life. She pressed her hands against the tile to counteract the dizziness that plagued her. Han may have warmed her chill away, but her nausea and light-headedness still tortured her.

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Han Solo smiled in appreciation when Leia entered the galley. She wore a white T-shirt that stretched over her curves in just the right places. She also donned a pair of shorts and socks under her slippers. But she still wore his heavy parka.

"Still cold, Your Worship?"

Leia shrugged, "Fashion statement."

Chewie chortled, and Han raised an eyebrow, "Interesting choice."

The princess went straight to the pot of kaffe and poured herself a generous amount. She then joined Chewie and Han at the table and poured a touch of milk into her cup of kaffe.

"I made you some geatmeal," Han stood up to retrieve it from the warmer. "It's nice and hot. Warm you up even more."

Leia stared at the bowl of geatmeal as if it were a bowl of killin eyes, "Thank you, but I'm not hungry."

"But ya' haven't eaten anything since you got on the _Falcon," _Han fought to contain his frustration. "You've gotta be hungry by now."

She pressed her lips together, obviously tired of this fight. She knew that if she just ate the geatmeal he'd back off, but she truly couldn't do that, "How many times to I have to tell you? I'm just not hungry."

Han dropped the bowl on the floor and clenched his teeth. He then stormed out of the galley.

Chewbacca growled at Leia, and Threepio translated, "Chewbacca doesn't understand why you won't eat anything."

Leia's eyes widened, "Why don't you all just leave me alone?"

Threepio translated Chewie's words once again, "Captain Solo and Chewbacca are just worried about you. If you don't mind saying so, Artoo and I are concerned as well."

"Yes, I do mind you saying so."

All eyes froze on Han as he stomped into the galley, his face red and his eyes burned with fired. He slammed his blaster onto the table in front of Leia, "Here! This is a lot faster than starving yourself or spending a night outside on Hoth or waiting for the Imperials to capture you!"

The princess' eyes were wide and her mouth opened just a bit as she stared at the blaster. A heavy silence pressed down on the occupants of the room. Han glared at Leia. She lifted her large glassy eyes to his, and then she rose and ran out of the room.

"Captain Solo!" Threepio yelled. "I do not understand your actions, but you seem intent on upsetting the princess!"

Chewbacca grumbled. Han grunted, "Yeah, me too."

Han stalked out of the galley without another word and headed straight to his cabin. To his surprise, the door was shut, and he wondered if he should knock or just go in. He decided to do the latter, and he found her kneeling in front of his bed. Han approached her with tentative steps, waiting for her to lash out. But Leia didn't. Instead, she held Luke's light saber in her hands, twisting it around in her hands. Han's heart constricted at the sight of Luke's weapon in her hands. What had he done?

Han quickly moved to stand behind her. He ripped the light saber out of her hands. Leia didn't try to take it back. She had no reaction at all. Han gently placed the weapon on the desk beside the bed and knelt down behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, pinning her hands against her chest, and pulled her close.

"I don't want to die," Leia whispered, and Han realized she was crying. "I...I just want the pain to stop."

"I'm sorry, Leia," he pressed his forehead against the crown of her head. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

"I know."

"You're killin' me," Han squeezed her tighter. "I don't know what to do to help you."

"I don't know what to do to help you."

Han lifted his head, "What?"

"I can feel your pain," she whispered. "It's inside me."

"You're not making sense."

Leia shook her head, "I know. Not to you."

"Make me understand," Han pleaded.

Leia raised her face to the ceiling and closed her eyes, but her tears still flowed, "The pain, mine, yours, its everywhere in my body, in…in my stomach."

"The last thing you'd want to do is eat," Han whispered as his arms dropped he sank onto his heels. "I'm sorry."

"You were only looking out for me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Leia pushed herself up and slid onto the edge of the bed, forcing Han to look up at her, "I…" she shook her head and pressed her lips together. _You intended to leave me._ "I just couldn't."

His looked away. _She would have told Luke._ His head began throbbing. Leia needed Luke, and Han could never take his place. He closed his eyes to hold back his tears. _She needs Luke._ Han wished it was he who was attacked by the unknown animal and froze to death on Hoth. Leia would have Luke, and Luke would comfort her, care for her, heal her…love her. Luke could possibly make her happy, and Han realized that no matter how hard he tried he could never do that for her. He inhaled and slowly exhaled. Her happiness meant more to him than the_ Falcon_ did, and nothing in his life before he got attached to the pint-sized princess had ever been that important. He knew he had to leave once they reached Sullust. It would hurt too much to see Leia on a daily basis and know he could do nothing for her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled again, but this time he apologized for failing her.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to hurt."

"I don't want you to hurt," she touched his face, and he looked up at her.

"Leia, you can't know what I'm feeling."

"I don't know how," her face screwed up into a question mark. "But I do. I…know you miss Luke so much that you wish you were the one who died out there. I miss Luke as much as you do, Han, but I've never wished it was you instead of him." She placed her hands on her head, and her eyes closed, "My head is spinning."

Han's expression matched Leia's. Could it be possible? "Don't feel my pain!"

She opened her large eyes and steadily cried, "That's like me telling you don't hurt." Leia sighed and put her arms around his neck, their eyes only centimeters away from each other, "I…I think I need to feel your pain."

"Why?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

Han scowled, "But you just said you wanted the pain to stop."

"I do," she admitted and hugged his neck. "I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to survive it."

Han slipped his arms around her waist, his head now spinning. And then he began to cry. His cheek pressed against hers, and their tears mingled together. They both gave their tears free rein, mourning Luke's death together. Han pulled her off the bed so that he could hold her closer, feel her warm body against his.

Leia wasn't sure how long they cried in each other's arms. It seemed like forever because they both would mourn Luke forever. Still crying, she pulled back and loosened the grip she had around his neck.

"Han…" she tried to control her respiration to no avail. She knew how he could heal, and she had to push her own desires and needs aside, "You have to leave when we reach Sullust." Her tears fell faster and burned her cheeks.

"What?" Leia's words pierced Han's heart like never before. He also cried, "What's that have to do with anything?"

Leia tried to swipe her tears away, but it was impossible to erase them all, "So you can distance yourself from everything that reminds you of Luke. You can heal."

Han felt sick to his stomach as if an asteroid had crashed and settled there. He dropped his arms from her waist and stood up, "You're right. That's probably the best thing to do."

He wiped his face and looked at Luke's light saber. Han picked it up and handed it to Leia. She slipped it back into the pocket of Han's parka. Without another word, Han turned on his heal and left the cabin. Leia's breath caught in her throat. She buried her face in her pillow and cried like she never had before.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12:

Chewbacca swung himself out of his hammock and headed toward the cockpit. He slowly passed Han's cabin and inconspicuously looked into the room. The princess lied curled up on the bed facing the wall and clutching Han's parka as if it were a stuffed toy. Chewbacca stood under the doorway and frowned. She was in the exact same position as she was when he checked on her a couple of hours ago. Her body slightly shook, and Chewie surmised that she was still crying. He thought it impossible for a human, especially one so small, could cry so many tears.

But the girl had held in a lot of tears over the last three years. Chewie decided that he wouldn't disturb her at this time. He continued on to the maintenance access where he would find his very hurt and angry friend.

Han straddled a wide pipe as he manipulated the hydrospanner with the agility that matched no one Chewbacca had ever met. Han looked up when Chewie greeted him, but Han showed no pleasure in seeing his best friend.

"It's not my business," Han focused his attention completely on his work. "Besides, she doesn't want anything to do with me."

Chewie crouched down and rowlfulled. Han froze for a moment, and his countenance twitched, "Yeah, she told me she that she wants me to leave when we reach Sullust."

Chewbacca's brow dropped and he sat down at the edge of the maintenance access. Han sighed and stopped working, "Maybe I was thinking of changin' that plan."

The Wookie rested his weight on his hands and hummed. Han rested his head on another pipe, "I…I don't know. I thought staying might be a good idea."

Chewie fought to contain his smile as he pressed Han for more details. Han looked up at him, his face contorted with frustration, "Maybe…I don't know." He slammed the hydrospanner against the pipe, "It doesn't matter. I can't do anything for her."

Chewbacca mumbled and Han shook his head, "Look! She made things quite clear. And she's right. The farther away from things that remind me of Luke, the faster I'll forget."

Chewie humped, and Han glared at him, "Of course—" He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "No, I'll never forget her," he whispered.

The Wookie stood up and stretched his arms and back as he continued to interrogate Han. Han scowled and returned to his work with more fervor than before, "Just let it alone. She'll be alright. She always is."

Chewie's growl forced Han to look up at him. _She hasn't been all right since we've known her._ Chewbacca's words struck Han as if the Wookie slapped him across the face. Han himself knew the depth of truth in his best friend's words. But what could he do about it? He couldn't do anything for her, maybe comfort her temporarily but that wasn't enough. _I'm not Luke. I'm the one who let Luke die._ Leia wanted him to leave so he'd forget about Luke and his grief. But maybe she wished him to leave because he reminded her of Luke's death because he was the one who failed to save Luke.

"Not my problem," Han snarled. "If you're gonna help me than keep your mouth shut and help me. If not then go find somethin' else to do."

Chewie grunted and left Han to his repairs. Han watched him go. When his best friend was out of sight, Han tipped his face toward the ceiling and rested his weight on the hand that clutched the edge of the maintenance hatch. He never knew he was capable of hurting this much. He had been rejected before, but it never hurt in the way it did now. He had approximately two more days with her if all goes well. Han doubted he had the strength to survive his broken, destroyed heart. He knew what he had to do; he had to stay as far away from the petite princess as possible.

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Chewbacca put down his data pad and swung himself out of his hammock. It must have been about midday or late afternoon, but in space did it really matter? No, Chewie told time by the grumbles in his stomach. He deactivated his datapad and started toward the galley, passing the other crew cabins as he had done several times that day already.

The Wookie stopped in the doorway of Han's cabin and found exactly what he expected. Leia still lied curled up on the bed, facing the wall and clutching Han's parka as if it was a plush toy. He sighed. Chewie knew Leia didn't want Han to leave; he didn't have to be a Jedi to sense that. He surmised from his discussion with Han and the tears she had shed since the morning after she talked to Han, that she was pushing Han away to protect him, to give him a chance to heal. Chewie knew that Han would never heal if he ran away, but Leia's stubbornness matched his best friend's, and Chewie would never convince her that she was wrong.

Instead of giving her privacy as he had every time he checked on her that day, Chewbacca walked over to her and sat on the edge of her bed. She didn't react or try to hold her tears as she normally did. He wanted to comfort her with words, but she wouldn't understand him and Chewie didn't want Threepio around. Anyhow, words were pointless at this time. Chewbacca reached out and stroked her hair, his hand slowly sliding from the top of her head down to her back over and over again.

Leia's eyes closed, though her tears still slipped from beneath her eyelids. Her breathing slowed and her muscles relaxed. Chewbacca's gentle touch, his tender silence reminded her of the way her father comforted her when she was young. Her father could erase her hurt, but she knew her pain was too great to be stroked away this time. No matter, she was grateful for the Wookie's presence and touch. His care and love for her penetrated her body with each stroke of his large hand. Leia absorbed his comforting touch, and before she knew it, she slipped into a dreamless slumber.

Once Chewbacca was certain the princess was sound asleep, he left her and decided to do something to relieve his growing hunger pains.

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Han Solo entered the galley, and his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He grimaced, "Do you think you could've made a bigger mess?"

Chewbacca looked around at the dirty pots and pans, the leftovers from chopped up vegetables, empty cans lying around, and a suspicious layer of white powder cluttering every counter and corner of the galley. He shrugged and continued stirring whatever was in the pot.

"I hope whatever you're makin' is good," Han glanced into the pot that contained a thick broth. It did smell quite appetizing.

Chewie retrieved a bowl, and Han swiped a taste of the soup when his best friend's back was turned. His stomach rumbled in appreciation. Chewie turned around and dropped a ladle full of his creation into the bowl. He handed Han a spoon and the bowl. Han smiled. Chewie had never been this polite where food was concerned.

"Thanks," Han dipped the spoon into the bowl.

Chewbacca stopped him with a firm gruff and then proceeded to give him directions.

"What?" Han dropped the spoon into the bowl and a bit of it splashed onto his shirt. "She doesn't want me around, and I doubt she'll eat it anyway."

Chewie humphed, and Han glared at him, "Why don't you give it to her?"

Chewie's brow lifted and he waved his hands around the galley.

"Have the droids clean it."

Chewie gorluffed and then scratched the back of his head in the way Han did when he was frustrated or reluctant to deal with something.

"Why'd ya' make them do inventory of our supplies?" Han growled. "We definitely have enough supplies to reach Sullust."

Chewbacca turned away from Han and began putting the dirty pots and pans in the washer.

"Fine," Han grunted, took the bowl with him, and stormed out of the galley.

When Han reached the doorway of his cabin, he expected a very cold and regal princess working on a datapad. Instead, he found a girl curled up in a ball.

"Hey, Your Worship. Brought you somethin' to eat."

Leia didn't respond, and Han rolled his eyes. He walked over to her and discovered she was sleeping. Han ran his finger over the scar on his chin as he debated whether or not to wake her. He looked over his shoulder at the door. Chewie must have known she was asleep. Han knew Chewie had been looking in on Leia throughout the day. That damn Wookie was up to something.

But as Han gazed upon the girl, the anger and hurt she recently inspired slightly dulled, and her wellbeing once again overrode everything. Han touched her shoulder and then caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. He frowned when he discovered that her skin was sticky with dried tears. Why was _she_ crying? Stupid question. _Luke._

"Leia, sweetheart, wake up," he stroked her cheek again.

To Han's surprise her eyes fluttered open, and still clutching Han's parka to her chest, she rolled onto her back.

Her brow knitted, "Han?"

"Chewie thought you might be hungry," Han held the bowl of soup up so she could see it. "He made it special for you. It should settle your stomach."

Leia blinked a couple of times and the pushed herself into a seated position. Han put the bowl down and helped her lean against the wall to make her more comfortable. She stared at the bowl and hugged the parka to her chest. Han held out the bowl with the spoon resting inside, ready to bolt once she took it.

But she didn't take it. Han shifted his weight between his feet. He didn't expect her to eat it, but the usual fire she displayed every time the issue of her eating habits came up never happened.

"Here, take it," he ordered. "Dump it down the toilet if you don't wanna eat it. I don't care just as long as Chewie thinks you ate it."

Leia pulled her knees up to her chest but said nothing.

Han closed his eyes for a moment, "Why don't you try it, see if you like it. Can't hurt."

Leia reached out and took the bowl from him, but her hand shook, causing its contents to slosh around. Han grimaced and took the bowl out of her hand before she spilled it.

The girl gazed upon him. Her eyes were red and glassy. Han cursed himself; she was his weakness and he didn't know how to conquer it. He sat on the bed, one bent leg resting against her and the other on the ground to keep him stable. Han scooped up some soup with the spoon. He lifted it and held it up to her mouth. Leia continued to stare at him, but just when Han was about to give up, she opened her mouth. Han slipped the spoon into her mouth and she took in the spoonful of soup.

"Like it?"

The princess nodded, and with a touch of enthusiasm Han scooped up some more soup, held it up to her mouth, and allowed her lips to close over the metal utensil. Then he pulled it out of her mouth, her lips still closed over the spoon so that she took in every drop of the soup. Han took slow steady breaths as if he was afraid at any moment he'd scare her or anger her. He continued to gather the thick soup onto the spoon and wait until she seemed ready to accept another from him. As fed her, he took notice of her red rimmed eyes and pink cheeks. The tip of her nose was red as was the skin above her upper lip. Leia looked younger than her years, and Han's heart sank at her child-like appearance. He wanted to hold her and rock her and stroke her hair and cheeks. He wanted to comfort her, assure her that everything would be okay even if she knew that was a lie.

But Han had already failed her, and he wouldn't try again. When Leia finished the entire bowl of soup, Han dropped the spoon into the bowl and it clatter against its ceramic sides.

He sighed as he gazed upon her, "Why don't you come on out and join Chewie and me for a game of Sabaac. The droids are doing inventory so Threepio won't be annoyin' us with his constant talking."

"No thank you," she whispered. "I'm tired."

Han frowned as Leia settled into the same position in which he found her. He got up and left her without another word.

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Princess Leia woke up with a start. There was something she just had to do and had to do it right at this moment. However, she had no idea what it was. She shoved the bedcovers off of her, and her eyebrows knitted together. She was wearing the shirt she took from Han a while ago, the shirt she usually slept in. Leia's eyes rushed around the room until her eyes fell upon Han's parka which lied beside her. She breathed easier as her hand stroked the coat. Leia dropped her feet to the ground and noticed they were warmed by a pair of think socks. Her hair hung in her face as she looked down at the ground. She gathered it up and twisted it into a knot at the nape of her neck.

Leia bit her lip. Did someone dress her for bed? She closed her eyes and reviewed the day. After Han gave her the soup, she didn't go to sleep although she remained lying on top of the bedcovers thinking about life without Han. Then what? She remembered that her T-shirt and shorts were constricting and not very comfortable for sleep. She exhaled and smiled as she realized that she was the one who dressed herself for bed. It seemed like everyone was doing everything for her, which only made her feel worse.

But none of that mattered; there was something she was supposed to do. Leia practically jumped off the bed and hurried to the door. She peered out, twisting her head to the left and to the right twice. Leia's chest tightened. Whatever it was she had to do, she had to do it alone. She looked over her shoulder at the chronometer. No one should be up at this time. She focused her senses and was greeted with nothing but silence.

Confident she was the only conscience being on the ship, Leia rushed down the corridor with delicate steps. Although unsure why, she went straight to the cockpit and placed her hand on the security lock. It zipped open, and Leia held her breath expecting Han and Chewie to come running down the corridor to stop her. She couldn't let them stop her.

When she was certain no one was alerted by the opening of the cockpit door, Leia rushed to the console beneath the canopy in front of the co-pilot's seat. Her chest rose up and down as her hands rested upon the console and her eyes stared at the glowing lights. Everything became clear. She closed her eyes and followed her heart.

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Han Solo woke with a start. Something was not right. No, something was very wrong. Damn! What a time for somethin' to go wrong, but what did he expect? Nothing ever worked out the way things were supposed when Luke and Leia were around. He cringed at his thought. It would be hard to think of Leia without Luke. Maybe Leia was right. Maybe he did need to leave the first moment he got.

Han looked at Chewie who slept soundly. Then he closed his eyes and listened carefully. His eyes popped open. The engines sounded less smooth and a lot louder. When the _Falcon _was in hyperspace it whispered gently and slid though space as if it skated on ice. There were more creaks and moans when it flew in subspace. Only Han, who knew and loved the ship more than anything, could tell the difference.

He yelled at Chewbacca as he raced to the cockpit. Chewie rolled over in his sleep. When Han reached the cockpit he stormed in and then stopped.

"What the hell are ya' doin'!" Han yelled. "Why'd ya' shut down the hyperdrive?"

Princess Leia didn't turn around. She didn't move from her position in front of the co-pilot's seat. Her eyes remained wide and focused on the console.

"Everything's going too fast," she rushed her words.

"Not anymore," Han took two long strides over to reverse Leia's work.

"Nothing ever slows down," she continued as if he didn't speak. "It just keeps going and going and going, and it just gets faster and faster. It's never going to stop." She swallowed, "I can't breathe. There's no time to breathe."

Han placed his hands on the back of the co-pilot's seat.

"There's no time for anything. No time to live," she whispered.

Han knew this day would happen, the day with the stoic Princess Leia broke. He had always hoped he wouldn't be around to witness it. At the same time, he wouldn't want anyone else there but him. He knew how important her public image was to her. And as long as he was in her life, he would always protect her, even from herself.

"Leia…" Han hoped his quiet tone would catch her attention.

The princess turned around, and her large brown eyes glistened as they caught the multicolor lights on the walls of the cockpit. "Han?"

He captured her attention, but he didn't know what to say. _Are you okay?_ seemed insufficient. He would have put his hands in his pockets, but he was wearing just his boxers. He felt hopeless and sick as if he just lost the most important Sabaac game in his life and everything that ever mattered to him was going to be taken away.

Leia finally looked over her shoulder at him, "There's never enough time, Han. Can you feel it?"

Han's mouth opened and closed like a caught simian fish. What answer was she looking for? Did he even have the answer?

The girl didn't give him time to answer. Leia climbed up on Chewie's chair and threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against Han's. Taken by surprise and confusion, his eyes remained open as he tried to register what was happening. Was this part of her breakdown? Should he pull her off of him?

Leia's hands massaged his head and she leaned against him as she continued kissing him. Han's eyes involuntarily closed and his brain shut down. His hands wrapped around her tiny waist and slid up and down her back. He pulled her closer, and the sensation of her breasts, warm beneath the thin shirt she wore and pressing against his bare chest, was almost more than he could bear. Leia then jumped over the back of the chair and wrapped her legs around his waist. Han barely had time to catch her. Her legs remained tight around him, but he slid his arms over her thighs and under the silky material of her panties to give her more support.

Leia tightened her grip on Han's neck, and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so selfish," she wailed. "I don't want you to leave me."

Solo's breath caught in his throat. "How is that selfish?" he asked when he found his voice.

"But you have to leave," she started to cry and her words were punctuated with gasps.

"Maybe…," Han slightly rocked her as he whispered, "maybe I don't have to leave."

"You need to heal," she shook her head. "You won't if you stay."

"Whadda bout you?" he removed one arm that supported her and slightly leaned back to counteract her weight. Then he wrapped his free arm around her back and cradled the nape of her neck in his hand. "What do _you _want?"

"For you not to hurt," she whispered in a child-like voice.

"Stop thinking about me!" Han snapped, but tightened his hold on her. "Stop thinking about what everyone else wants for once!" He sighed and lowered his voice, "What do _you_ want?"

"Don't leave me," Leia buried her face in his neck, and her hot tears burned his skin.

"I never wanted to," Han closed his eyes and the tension that held every muscle in his body hostage melted away.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13:

Han Solo never thought he would ever be in this position: sitting back on his heels in between Princess Leia's legs, her knees resting against his sides and her eyes wide and gazing up at him. But now he found himself exactly in this position, _and_ she wanted him in this position, _and_ he wasn't dreaming. Han found himself, for the first time in the presence of a woman, at a lost. He fiddled with the edge of the button-down shirt she wore, _his shirt_, and pulled it down so that it covered her satin blue panties.

Leia's eyes stayed glued on him, her hands resting on each side of her head and her chest visibly rising and falling with each breath. Han wrapped his arms around her smooth legs and rested his hands on her thighs. His eyes roved over every centimeter of her body; he wanted to remember how she looked at this moment forever.

However, Leia began to grow impatient. Her hands trembled slightly as her fingers undid the top button of her shirt. She continued on to the next one, but Han stopped her by placing a hand on hers. Leia's brow knitted.

"I thought…" her voice was shaky and unsure.

Han let go of her hands, slid his own hand up her thigh and kissed her knee, "You said that you wanted life to slow down."

"What if there's no time?" she asked in a small voice.

"I don't want to rush anything with you," Han hazel eyes held hers. "I want to savor every moment I have with you until the end of time."

Leia bit her lip and let her hands fall from her shirt. Han favored her with a small but serious smile, and she then returned his smile as she gave Han, for once, control of the situation.

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Chewbacca awoke and found the cot Han had been using empty. He tilted his head as he listened to the engines of the _Falcon_. The Wookie frowned. They were traveling at sublight speed and it was too soon to have reached Sullust. When he saw the empty cot, Chewie hoped Han was where he should be, with the princess, but Han most likely was in the cockpit because something must be wrong if they were traveling at sublight speed. Chewbacca sauntered down the corridor and stopped when he reached Han's cabin. He found the door of Han's cabin closed. Leia was claustrophobic and almost always slept with the door open. The closed door was disconcerting, but Chewie had more important matters to attend to. He continued on to the cockpit.

The cockpit door was open but instead of finding Han at the helm of the ship, Threepio and Artoo occupied the tight space.

"Good morning, Chewbacca," Threepio greeted the Wookie. Chewie garruffed and cawed. "Captain Solo asked Artoo and me to do surveillance duty."

Chewie's eyes narrowed and he continued interrogating the droid. Threepio looked out the canopy and then to Chewbacca, "I do not know why we are not traveling at lightspeed. I checked the hyperdrive, and it seems to have been manually shut down."

Chewie went over to the console to check for himself. His hairy brow dropped as he spoke to the droid. Threepio looked at Artoo who beeped, "We do not know who shut it down, but if you wish, Artoo can scan the controls for fingerprints."

Chewie waved his hand and Threepio's head dropped down, "I suppose you are right. All fingerprints of the crew would be present, and Artoo cannot determine the time when the fingerprints were left."

Chewbacca scratched behind his ear and his lips stretched into a mirthless smile as he figured out why Princess Leia closed Han's cabin door. He didn't want to walk into something he desired to know nothing about. Chewie used the comm to call the captain of the ship to the cockpit.

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Han opened his eyes and grimaced at the sound of Chewbacca's voice. He wondered what time it was. It felt as if he fell asleep just minutes ago. Leia was curled up at his side, her head and hand resting upon his chest. Her hair fanned out and twisted around both him and her. With Chewie's insistent calling, he was surprised that she hadn't woken. He smiled to himself; that gave Han the pleasure of waking her.

He rubbed her back. "Leia, Sweetheart," he kissed the top of her head. "I gotta get up."

The princess sat up and rubbed her eyes. Han smiled at her as he pushed her unruly hair out of her face. "You feelin' okay?"

She returned his smile, "More than okay."

"Chewie's callin' me. Probably noticed were traveling at sublight speed," Han rolled his eyes.

Leia tilted her head and bit her bottom lip. That was her fault. "I don't think he's going to be too happy when he finds out why."

Han kissed her lips, "Don't worry about it." He climbed out of the bed and threw a pair of pants over his boxers and a shirt on his back. "We just need to reset the coordinates and jump." He winked at her and buttoned up his shirt as he sauntered out of the room, "I'll be back before ya' know it."

Leia watched Han disappear before she lied back down. She ran her fingers along the buttons of Han's shirt and smiled.

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"Good morning, Captain Solo," Threepio greeted.

"Good mornin', Goldenrod," Han smiled at the droid as he plopped himself into the pilot's seat.

Chewbacca and Threepio exchanged confused looks before resting their eyes on the light-hearted captain.

Chewie grunted and Han swiveled his chair to face him, "Don't go throwing a tizzy fit. All we have to do is reprogram the coordinates."

Chewie mimicked Han's tone as he typed in the coordinates. Han grinned and leaned toward the comm, "Strap yourself in, Sweetheart. We're jumpin'."

Han glanced behind him to see if Threepio was secure in the seat behind Chewbacca. Once the droid closed the clasp on the restraint Han turned his attention to the console before him. "On three. One, two, three."

The engines whined then quieted. Han's mouth formed a small 'o'. That wasn't good. "Give it another try," he finally said. "Ready? One, two, three."

Once again the engines whined and quieted. Chewbacca slowly turned his head toward Han and narrowed his eyes. Han grimaced, "That's not supposed to happen."

Chewie grumbled, and Han slumped down in his chair, "Right now, that's not important. We need to find out what's wrong with the hyperdrive." Han jumped out of his seat, "Artoo, Chewie. You two come with me. Threepio, you're still on surveillance duty."

Han led the group out of the cockpit, down the curved corridor, and into one of the cargo holds where the hyperdrive was located. Just as they reached the cargo hold, Leia stepped out of Han's cabin dressed in Han's old sweater, a pair of warm-up pants that hugged her curves, and Han's parka. Her hair was braided and curled into a coronet around her head. Han glanced up at her and wondered how she managed to put herself together so fast.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she followed them to the hyperdrive module.

"Hyperdrive won't come back on-line," Han reported as he, Chewie, and Artoo examined the module.

"Oh," Leia quietly responded as she back-pedaled toward the door.

Han looked over his shoulder, "Go keep watch in the cockpit. I don't want Threepio messing up anything there."

"Yes, sir," Leia whispered and licked her lips. With her head bent down, she took quick steps toward the cockpit.

Both Han and Chewbacca froze and watched the departing princess. Chewbacca then focused his steeling blue eyes on his best friend.

Han shrugged, "I dunno. Maybe I scared some respect into her that day she dumped her breakfast over my head."

Chewie's eyes narrowed. Han looked away, "Okay, maybe it took a couple of days to sink in. You know that girl is always full of surprises."

Artoo's dome swung around and he twittered and beeped. Han looked at the droid and was glad neither he nor Chewie could understand him. Han had a feeling the little droid knew more about who manually shut down the hyperdrive than Chewie did. Han only hoped Artoo's mouth wasn't as big as Threepio's and that the droid would keep this knowledge to himself.

They all returned to their inspection of the hyperdrive. When Chewbacca was out of earshot, Han leaned close to Artoo. He lowered his voice and growled, "If you know anythin' about anythin' you better keep your little squealing mouth shut."

Artoo backed up and expelled a few angry beeps and then returned to his work.

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Princess Leia walked into the cockpit with her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

"Good morning, Your Highness," Threepio greeted her and then noticed her posture. "Are you cold?"

"No, Threepio," Leia went straight to Han's seat and settled there.

"But you are wearing Captain Solo's parka," Threepio observed. "Would you like me to turn up the thermostat?"

"I'm fine," she muttered through clenched teeth.

"I do not know if you know, but the hyperdrive was shut down manually last night."

"Heard something like that."

"Well, for some reason, the hyperdrive wouldn't reboot."

"Figured that out when I saw Chewie, Han, and Artoo at the hyperdrive module."

"Oh, I see," Threepio's enthusiasm waned. He remained quiet for a moment.

Leia rested one foot on the edge of the console, propped her elbow upon her knee, and chewed her fingernail.

"You know," the droid tried again to re-engage his only companion, "I'm not surprised this happened."

The princess closed her eyes, "What happen?"

"The malfunctioning of the hyperdrive."

That peaked Leia's attention, "Why?"

"Artoo noticed that the cyloid cylinders were worn. Also, the brelden tubes were repaired with metal tape and the internal booster engines need a tune. Oh! And several plugs were worn and about two microchips needed replacing."

"Did you notice spare parts for the hyperdrive when you were doing inventory?"

"No, Your Highness. However, I do recall an angry conversation between Captain Solo and Chewbacca."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, Chewbacca wanted to spend more time repairing the hyperdrive, but Captain Solo was in a hurry to leave so he wanted to focus on other more important repairs and wait to finish the hyperdrive repairs until they reached the next port." Threepio brought a finger to his immobile mouth, "I suppose Captain Solo won that argument."

"What could be more important than the hyperdrive?"

"I am sorry, Your Highness," Threepio twisted his body around as he examined the walls of the cockpit. "I have no idea. But on this ship, you never know."

Leia pressed her lips together and then looked at the golden droid, "Would have the hyperdrive malfunctioned if no one shut it down?"

Threepio tilted his head, "Well, if that were the situation, the odds would be—"

Leia sighed, "Yes or no will be sufficient."

If the droid could frown he would have at that moment. The princess seemed to be acting more like the uncouth captain of the ship than royalty. "No, the odds of that are very slim."

Leia buried her head in her hands, "Just great."

"Without a working hyperdrive system, it will take approximately thirty-eight days and four standard hours to reach Sullust."

"Threepio," Leia sighed, "Why don't we just enjoy the view in silence?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

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Artoo continued twittering and beeping incessantly. Han glanced at the droid and cringed. "Can't you do repairs without all that chatter?"

Chewie growled in agreement, but the stout droid continued his ranting. Han rolled his eyes and pressed the comm, "Hey, Goldenrod? Can you tell us what the tin can is chattering about?" Then Han gave the droid and stern look.

Threepio interpreted Artoo's undecipherable language. Han sank back on his haunches and Chewie groaned as the protocol droid repeated basically the same thing he told the princess about the condition of the hyperdrive.

Chewbacca roared and shook a wrench. Han scowled, "How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen?"

Chewie continued yelling at his best friend. Han stood up, "I still stand by my decision. If the navigation brains couldn't solve their disagreements then we could have flown straight into a supernova!"

Chewie grumbled as he stood up. Han put his hands on his hips, "Well, we can check the charts and see find a place to get the parts we need."

Chewbacca grunted and followed Han to the cockpit.

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When Han and Chewie stormed into the cockpit, Leia immediately pulled her foot off of the cockpit and evacuated Han's seat. She stood behind Han close to the cockpit wall and as far away from Chewbacca.

"I take it repairs didn't go so well," Leia said in a meek voice.

Han reached behind him and squeezed the hand that rested on the back of his chair, "We just gotta find a place where we can stop and get the parts we need. No big deal."

Chewbacca grumbled and mumbled, and Leia had no desire to know what he said. Both Chewie and Han leaned over the SPS chart screen. Leia stretched her neck to see the chart herself.

"How far are we away from Rutan?"

"We'd be back tracking a little, but I'm guessing about two or three standard days at the most."

Leia smiled, "That's good news."

Han looked over his shoulder, "Why is that?"

"I just so happen to know the king," Leia sat down in the high back seat relieved to be able to fix her mistake. "Taroon will be willing to help us."

Chewbacca gurruffed and Han pressed his lips together.

"Chewbacca has a point," Threepio interjected.

Han swiveled his chair to face her, "How well do you know this Taroon?"

Leia tilted her head, "Not very well. We socialized at diplomatic functions, balls, and such. We shared the same views and ideas about government and politics."

"It might not be safe," Han frowned at her.

"Why?"

"You'll be recognized," Han pointed out. "Do you trust him?"

"Well enough," Leia tried to look confident but failed. She then sighed, "What choice do we have?"

Han looked at Chewbacca then at the princess, "We can just continue on to Sullust at sublight speed."

"It'll take too long," Leia shook her head and looked at Threepio. "It's too much of a risk, especially since the Imperials are tightly patrolling the trade routes."

Han laid his eyes upon the SPS charts and listened to Chewie's opinion. He rolled his lips between his teeth and remained silent for a moment. Then he looked up, "Okay, Rutan it is."

Leia relaxed as she looked at the Wookie. If he knew it was she who shut down the hyperdrive, he would have torn her arms from their sockets, or at least ranted and raved and threatened her. That was scary enough. Then Leia bit her lip. Considering the limited number of suspects, it won't take long for Chewbacca to figure it out. She inhaled and pulled her knees up so her feet rested on the edge of her seat. Maybe he'll overlook her stupidity when they reach Rutan. She closed her eyes and prayed to the Alderaanian gods for protection.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14:

Han Solo's eyeslids started to droop, and he fought his urge to fall asleep. His look-out duty had to last at least another hour. Maybe he shouldn't have taken the late shift just to please Chewie, but he felt as if he had to do something to placate the grumpy Wookie. Had Han gotten a full night's sleep, or at least half a night's sleep, the late shift would have been a breeze. He yawned and then smiled. Last night with the princess was worth a month's loss of sleep.

Just as his smile widened, a small hand wrapped around his eyes. He grabbed the hand and placed a kiss on its palm, "Why aren't you asleep, Sweetheart?"

"Thought you might've wanted some company," Leia moved to stand in front of him.

Han's brow lifted when he scanned her wardrobe. The hood of his parka partially hid her face. Underneath his parka, she wore the shirt of his that she slept in. Han ran his fingers up her thigh, "What color tonight?" He lifted the shirttail with one finger and leaned back in his chair, "Nice. Did I tell you black is your favorite color?"

"I thought you said blue was your favorite color," Leia smirked and handed Han a cup of kaffe.

Han took the cup and favored her with a lop-sided grin, "That was yesterday."

Leia raised her chin and raised an eyebrow, "I wonder what your favorite color will be tomorrow."

Han sipped the kaffe, "You'll know before me." He winked at her.

"You're incorrigible," Leia ruffled his hair.

Han gulped down a few more helpings of kaffe. He definitely didn't want to fall asleep now. He put the cup on the console and swiveled his chair towards her, "Come 'ere. Get comfortable." He patted his lap.

The princess rolled her eyes and then lifted one leg over his lap and settled in. Han wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He caressed her cheek before pushing the hood off of her head. Han then buried his fingers in her long hair and dragged them through the silky strands until he reached the end. Leia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Han smiled when she pulled back and then came at him with several soft gentle kisses upon his lips.

Solo pressed his head against her chest when her attention was drawn elsewhere. He slipped his hands underneath the coat and shirt, her skin warm and reactive to his touch. He pulled her forward and closed his eyes. There was nothing more wonderful than listening to every breath she took, every beat her heart performed. She felt so alive in his arms, and Han wished he could hold her in this position forever.

Han turned his face and kissed her chest before pulling her back so he could see her. _There is no forever, just now, just this._ And Leia's life, like Luke's, would end all too soon for him even if she lived to be the age of Chewbacca.

Leia's countenance pinched with concern, "What's wrong?"

Han smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes, "What could possibly be wrong?"

She leaned back and lowered her head to get a good look at his eyes. There was something there…sadness....fear. Leia understood Han's sorrow, but of what was he afraid?

She leaned against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Tell me."

Han momentarily closed his eyes, savoring her warm, steady breath against his skin. He opened his eyes and returned her comforting embrace, "Not right now, kay?"

Leia grimaced, but Han couldn't see her mien. She then sighed, "Okay. Some other time." Her arms loosened just enough so that she could rest her head on his shoulder and bury her face in his neck. Her eyes closed as his fear crept into her blood.

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Princess Leia scurried around the galley as she attempted to cook a decent meal. She wanted to surprise Han and Chewbacca, but things weren't going as well as planned. For once, she was grateful to have Threepio and Artoo assisting her or else the majority of her entre would have burned or would have been inedible. She wiped her hands on her sweat pants and surveyed the galley. Leia pursed her lips; it seemed that Threepio and Artoo were doing most of the cooking. Well, Leia knew how to make a wicked frijiayto so at least she could contribute something.

"Your Highness?" Threepio stood upright. "It looks as if the nerf stew is ready."

The princess grinned like a giddy schoolgirl and pulled it out of the cooker. She stirred it with a large spoon, grimacing at the smell and shook her head to shake the stench out of her nose. Leia detested nerf stew, but it was Chewie's favorite. She didn't know whether or not if Chewie knew she was the one who messed up the hyperdrive (however, it wouldn't have been a problem if it was properly repaired before this trip), but she wanted to soften him up if he ever found out.

For Han, Leia prepared—with the immense help of the droids—Corellian cheese and tuber pancakes. Threepio told her how to mix the sugar, vaxen honey, and malassis that would sweeten the salty taste of the pancakes. When she licked the sticky substance stuck on her fingers, it tasted like heaven. Real food was so much better than rations.

The girl then, with great care, placed the various plates and drinks on two trays. Leia had the last shift of surveillance duty, the one that followed Han's, and she chased Han away so he could get some sleep. Chewie's turn followed hers. Leia knew Han would head straight to the cockpit when he awoke. He planned on helping Chewie with a few minor repairs during Chewie's shift. Leia guessed those things weren't so minor, but she figured she was better off not knowing what those things were.

Princess Leia balanced one tray between her hands and took small steady steps. She followed C-3P0 who was much better at carrying trays. Protocol droids were often used as servers at political functions. It was one way to get the dirt on your enemies. Threepio also had an advantage over her. His stiff fingers were equipped with magnets that allowed him to balance a tray in one hand. All her proper etiquette training didn't prepare her for such delicate tasks. Threepio was practically three meters before her. Leia wanted to call out to him to slow down, but she didn't want to ruin Han's and Chewie's surprise.

The corridor to the cockpit from the galley was long and straight for the most part. Although they were considerably a good distance from the cockpit, this particular corridor carried conversations through its rounded walls if the cockpit door was open. Princess Leia gave Threepio specific orders to not speak a word even when spoken to. And that this ordered stood until she personally released him from it. When Artoo heard that order, he twittered and twattered and rolled around in circles.

Leia's heart beats created a cadence of other days, a rhythm of light-heartedness. She smiled to herself but attempted to bite the smile back. Her footfalls were inaudible, but Threepio's clunky steps seemed to echo down the corridor. Perhaps she should have implored Artoo for this job. He could have carried the tray and wheel himself down the corridor without a sound. _Some forethought would have been good_, she chided herself. However, her enthusiasm made forethought impossible at the moment.

As the princess and the protocol droid reached the sharp turn in the corridor that connected the cockpit to the rest of the ship, Chewie's and Han's voices floated toward them.

"How do ya' know she did it?"

Leia came to an abrupt start. She hissed, "Threepio, stop."

Threepio turned around and prepared himself to ask why, but then he remembered her stern order of strict silence under all circumstances.

"Yeah, well I suppose there weren't too many people to pick from."

The princess' heart rate sped up as she imagined how angry at her the Wookie would be.

"Of course I was pissed off," Han admitted, and Leia's enthusiasm began to wane.

"She went on and on about how things were goin' too fast and she wanted it to stop. Like shuttin' down the hyperdrive would stop time," Han chuckled. Chewie joined in. "I don't know. I think she's finally lost it. I guess she had to break sometime." Chewie grigrowled and Han sounded irritated, "No, I did not take an advantage of her. I comforted her. That's all."

Leia felt as if she had been kicked in the stomach. The tray in her hands clattered to the floor and her face blanched. Threepio glanced down at the mess on the ground and then up at the princess. But Leia had already fled down the corridor. Threepio wanted to call after her but disobeying her would be disrespecting her.

Han twisted his head over his shoulder, "Whaddya think those droids broke now?" He turned his attention back to his best friend. "Anyhow, what was I tellin' ya'?"

Chewie sighed and reminded him. "Oh, yeah," Han shook his head and a small intimate smile played on his lips. "When she jumped over your chair and kissed me, I understood exactly what she meant and why she did it. Leia, the sweet thing, she's so right.

Chewie interrupted with a sarcastic gruff. Han rolled his eyes, "Yeah, but I can't be right all the time. Most of the time. Not all of the time."

He glared at the Wookie for a moment, but then his expression relaxed, "She's right about it all. Everything just passes us by, and we just go on worried about stuff that don't matter. We carry on and put work and disagreements and grudges first. And any meaningful thing, person, can be lost before you have a chance to take a breath. We're all too damn busy to notice what's most important in life. And before ya' know it, the thing your cherish most…there isn't enough time"

Chewbacca guruffed and Han's voice softened, "Leia is."

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The princess ran down the corridor, her unshed tears blurring her vision. She didn't know where she was going. She just wanted to get out of there as fast as she could. She wanted as far away from Han as she could get, or at the very least, off of the dilapidated ship. Han thought she was broken, crazy. Maybe that's why he had been treating her so nice and not starting any fights with her. _I comforted her._ Leia shuddered. She finally admitted that she didn't want him to leave, and what did he do? He patronized her.

_I didn't take an advantage of her. I comforted her._ Leia felt as if she was going to throw up. He was right. Han didn't take an advantage of her, not in the least. Leia was willing to take things further than Han did. _I want to savor every moment I have with you._ How could she be so stupid to think that he actually reciprocated her feelings? He was a smuggler and a mercenary. Han's ability to lie was what most likely kept him alive this long. And here Leia thought he was more than just that. She thought she was a better judge of character. She was a senator, after all. She was very adept at reading people. She had to be. So how did she let Han deceive her?

Leia found herself in one of the cargo holds. It was dimly lit and dusty. She stopped, wrapped her arms around herself, and turned her face up to the ceiling. She sucked in a breath, swearing to herself that she wasn't going to cry. But the thought of how Han deceived her, that he'd even intend to deceive her, struck her like lightning. And her humiliation was a casual discussion between Han and his best friend. She guessed that's what best friends do, but she didn't have the luxury of ever having a best friend. _Luke, he was her best friend._ But now, after being betrayed by Han, Leia couldn't help but doubt her relationships with everyone, even Luke.

Her head dropped and her large glassy eyes fell on a white rectangular box, a box long enough to hold a human. _Luke_. Leia stared at the box and her doubts about her friendship with Luke faded. But then her only true friend was taken from her by what? Fate, destiny, the Force? Everything seemed so unfair. But life wasn't fair. Wasn't it Han who reminded her of that?

It didn't matter now. Her heart had already begun to die a slow painful death with each breath she took. Leia walked over to the coffin with steady confident steps. Her fingers hovered over the controls that would open the cover of the coffin and reveal her dead friend's body. But Leia's fingers just hovered over the controls. Luke's body was being preserved by cryofrekics which froze his body, almost like carbonite freezing without the carbon block, and protected his body so that a viewing could be held before his final burial. Leia insisted that Luke be preserved though she never intended on holding a viewing of the body, or a funeral at that. And despite the fact that she knew Luke's body wasn't Luke, Leia couldn't bear to let any of him go for as long as possible.

The princess dropped to her knees and rested her hand on the white coffin, certain her fingers were nowhere near the controls so that she wouldn't accidentally activate something that would compromise Luke's preservation. She rested her forehead against the coffin, no longer able to tether her tears. Although Leia felt as if she was crying no tears came. Perhaps she cried out all the tears she had. She closed her eyes. Sharp sliver-size fingers of ice pierced the neurons in her brain and interfered with the natural exchange of chemicals between the synapses. Numbness slid through the nerves in her limbs, but her heart-wrenching sorrow became exaggerated and burned her blood.

"Oh, Luke," she breathed. "Why did you leave me?"

Anger boiled in her stomach, but Leia tamed it as she reminded herself that it was not Luke's choice to leave her.

"I didn't leave. I am in your blood."

Leia's head popped up. She glanced around the cargo hold. That _was_ definitely Luke's voice; she had no doubt about that. Her eyes fell to the entrance of the cargo hold. Threepio had the capacity to imitate voices down to the smallest characteristics. But Threepio wouldn't do that unless ordered, and he hated doing it more than he hated space travel, sand, and uneven terrain. Could he have been ordered? That would be a cruel joke, a joke no one on the ship would find funny.

The girl leaned her head against the cool coffin. Maybe Han was right. Maybe she was broken and crazy.

She exhaled forcefully, "I am so alone without you."

"You're not alone."

The beats of Leia's heart rose as she slowed her respiration. The voice must be in her head. She was having a conversation with herself. That had to be it.

But she did not believe that. The voice was outside of her head; she could not deny that. It sounded as if it came across from her, from the other side of the coffin. Leia's eyes focused there.

"Luke?" she whispered.

"Don't give up on anyone. Don't give in."

"To what? I don't understand."

The bodiless voice didn't elaborate but expelled a sorrowful sigh, "Remember that he did it out of love for us. He tried to protect us. Keep your mind open and free of anger."

"You're not making sense."

But Leia was only met with silence, and though she waited for at least a minute, she knew that was all she would get. Leia slumped against the side of the coffin as she tried to decipher Luke's words. If that was Luke. If that conversation wasn't a dream. If she wasn't broken. Leia wrapped her arms around her thighs and rested her head on her knees. She had no doubt in her heart that Luke spoke to her, though she didn't know how that was possible.

Would those have been Luke's last words to her if they had the chance to speak before his death? She chewed the inside of her cheek. No, Luke sounded so much calmer, older than he did when he was alive. He sounded at peace. And for a moment, she wished she had his peace.

But that wasn't her destiny, or fate, or will of the Force.

_He did it out of love for us._ Was Luke speaking of Han? She was certain he wasn't. Luke spoke of this mystery person in the past tense. Han was the present, not the past. And Han was still protecting her, even if it was hurting her. No, when Luke instructed her to not give up on anyone, he was most definitely referring to Han. But this person who did something out of love for Luke and her was someone other than Han.

_Don't give in. _Leia did not know what she wasn't supposed to give in to nor why Luke warned her of to let go of her anger. She definitely had a lot of anger. Leia bit her lip. Maybe Luke desired her to let go of her pain and the anger she felt over Han's pain which should could not and did not know how to squelch.

_I'm in your blood._ _I'm in your blood._ What a strange thing for Luke to say. Leia sighed. She raised her head. "I don't understand what you mean!" she shouted, her voice bouncing off the metal haul.

But she got no answer from her beloved late friend. Leia let go of her thighs and stretched her legs out in front of her. Her hands felt funny, but she figured that they were tired from holding the tight position she sat in. She glanced down at her hands and frowned. A web of thick red lines covered her hands. Leia realized that these red lines were her veins and that the redness must have been her blood. Her brow furrowed as she rotated her hands and scrutinized the patterns. _I'm in your blood._

"Pardon me, Your Highness," Threepio called from the entrance of the cargo hold.

Leia looked up. It took her a few seconds to figure out who the golden droid was.

"I only meant to check to see if you were all right," Threepio took hesitant steps toward the princess. "After you dropped the tray and retreated, I…well, I feared that you might have malfunctioned, if humans malfunction."

"You can say that I did, I suppose," Leia admitted freely. "But I'm fine now."

"Well, that is good news," the droid responded, though he didn't sound confident with his answer. He continued on, "Artoo cleaned up the mess when you dropped the tray."

Leia nodded, "Thank you, Threepio." She climbed to her knees, "You two think of everything."

"Thank you for the compliment, Your Highness, but I do not think that is very accurate."

"Accurate enough."

"Would you like me to get Captain Solo or Chewbacca?"

"No, please," Leia's eyes finally focused on the golden droid.

Threepio bowed his head, "As you wish." He walked over to her side and glanced at the coffin. He knew Captain Solo would not like that the princess was here because it seemed to upset her so, and the captain of the ship turned out to be right from Threepio's observations.

"Would you allow me to assist you?"

Leia favored him a small smile, "I would appreciate that."

Threepio bent over and offered a bent arm. He tried to stretch his arm out as far as he could, but his Maker limited much of his ability. Leia wrapped her arm around his metal one, and together, they pulled her to her feet.

"If you don't mind my saying so, Your Highness," Threepio decided that his boldness would not be offensive in her state, "your hands do not look right for an Alderaanian human, or any human at that."

Leia held up them up and examined the back of her hands again, "I think you're right."

"I think we should seek assistance from Captain Solo or Chewbacca. Perhaps either one of them will be able to repair the malfunction in your hands."

"I don't know…"

"Please, Your Highness," worry seeped into his high-pitched voice, "I cannot help you with medical issues and neither can Artoo."

Leia's lips quirked up. She couldn't believe that she was confiding in a droid, Threepio at that. But who else does she have to talk to?

"Captain Solo thinks I'm…broken."

"That's ridiculous. You look in one piece, if you don't mind my saying so."

Leia scowled, "When he said I am broken, he meant that I am crazy."

"Oh. I see. I'm not qualified to deem you as crazy or not. However, I do not think Captain Solo would every say you are crazy. He is very fond of you."

Leia's eyes narrowed on the droid, "You were standing right next to me when he told Chewie what he thought about me. Don't tell me that you didn't hear their conversation."

"Of course I did. I was standing right next to you."

Leia rolled her eyes as she tried to suppress her impatience, "I just said that."

Threepio's head tilted to the right, "Yes, you are correct. However, after you left, Your Highness, I listened to the rest of the conversation. I know I shouldn't have, but you told me not to speak and I did not know what to do. Artoo finally came searching for me. He took my tray, cleaned up the tray you spilled, and suggested I go look for you. I hope you don't mind me disobeying your orders, Your Highness. I know Artoo isn't the most obedient, but sometimes his disobedience works in everyone's favor."

"Well, I'm glad you were the one to find me," Leia admitted as she started toward the cargo hold entrance.

"Thank you, Your Highness," Threepio beamed. "I am honored."

Leia rubbed her hands as she and Threepio casually walked through the corridors of the _Falcon._ "I'm afraid to ask, Threepio," Leia started but wondered if she was crossing a line. Chewie and Han thought they were having a private conversation, a conversation she was never meant to hear. However, protocol droids are used for such eavesdropping. She's used that technique many times at diplomatic functions. But Chewie and Han were her friends.

"Would you like me to tell you the part of the conversation that you missed?" Threepio offered.

Leia closed her teeth over her bottom lip, "I don't know."

"If I might ask," the droid hesitated for a moment then pressed on, "did something Captain Solo and Chewbacca say upset you, Your Highness. Is that why you fled?"

Leia cringed, "You're very observant."

"Thank you, Your Highness. I do pride myself on keeping vigilance of my surroundings."

"Okay," Leia inhaled in an attempt to dissolver her guilt. "Can you tell me the part of the conversation I missed?"

"Of course, Your Highness. It would be my pleasure." Threepio tilted his golden orbs to the ceiling.

Leia wasn't so certain she'd find any pleasure, but she'd rather know than remain ignorant and let Han play her for a fool.

"Captain Solo said that once you kissed him, he understood your words. He said that you were right."

"Right?"

"Yes, Captain Solo told Chewbacca that you were right about how time passes too quickly and that humans tend to focus on unimportant matters such as work, disagreements, and grudges and miss the important things in life."

The princess stopped and leaned against the bulkhead, "He doesn't think I'm crazy."

"Not in the least, Your Highness," Threepio stated matter-of-factly. "In fact, I believe that Captain Solo referred to you as the thing he cherished most."

Leia's large brown eyes snapped up to the droid's gold orbs, and her mouth formed the smallest of 'o's.

"Are you feeling well, Your Highness?"

"Captain Solo really said that?" she whispered, afraid that she heard Threepio wrong.

"I would never deceive you," Threepio tilted his head to the left. "Those were Captain Solo's words."

"Thank you, Threepio," Leia nodded. "I'll be fine on my own. Why don't you go help Artoo clean up the mess in the galley?"

"As you wish."

Leia fought the weakness in her knees as she repeated Threepio's account of the private conversation between her friends over and over. Did Han truly cherish her, consider her important?

_You're not alone._ Luke's words echoed through her head, drowning out the replay of Chewie's and Han's conversation. _I'm in your blood._ Leia looked at the back of her hands again. The thick web-like marks were still there. Staring at her hands, she continued down the corridor in the direction of Han's cabin. She still wore her pajama shirt and sweatpants under Han's parka, but it felt as if the chill that plagued her earlier in the week was returning. A hot shower sounded inviting.

"Hey, Your Worship," Han smiled when she looked up at him. "Where've you been?"

Leia shook her head, "Nowhere."

"I wanna show you somethin'," he grabbed her hand and dragged her to the cockpit. Leia cringed as the hand he held throbbed in pain despite the fact his grip wasn't in the least tight.

"Look!"

The princess gazed out the canopy at a green and white ball the size of a large marble.

"We should reach Rutan in a day and a half," Han grinned from ear to ear.

"That's good news," Leia replied without much feeling.

Han looked at her and frowned. He noticed how she held her hands to her chest. He took a hold of them, "What's this?"

"I don't know."

He pressed his lips together. Her skin was cool. Han touched her cheek and noticed this drop in temperature wasn't just in her hands. Her lips were also pale, and his body began to slip into panic mode. He truly thought the Hoth chill finally left her.

But before he could say anything, Leia grabbed his arms and placed a kiss on his cheek, "I'm going to take a hot shower. That should warm me up."

Han nodded and watched her walk away until she was completely out of sight.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15:

Wrapped tightly in one of Han's tattered towels, Princess Leia walked to the lockers that were adjacent to the refresher. She held one hand at the edge of the towel close to her chest and reached for her locker. Before her fingers closed around the latch on her locker, she froze and her eyes fell upon Luke's. Leia's lower lip protruded out. Instead of opening her locker, she opened Luke's and began to rummage through his things. She pulled out a pair of khaki pants and dropped them on the floor. Then she wrapped her fingers around a pair of pliable suede boots. With great care, Leia pulled the boots out of Luke's locker. Luke had lent her these boots in the past. They were a little big, but when tightly laced, they felt secure enough on her feet. Leia took the boots and grabbed the discarded pants before speeding off to Han's cabin.

Leia dressed herself and then pulled her long hair into a tail at the center of the back of her head. She braided it and tethered the end with a leather cord. She arranged Luke's pendant so that it laid center on her chest. She touched it, smoothed her fingers over the soft stone, and gazed at the indecipherable markings. She could imagine the comfort this pendant gave Luke. It probably gave him more comfort than the one she had. Luke saw the pendant as a link to his past. He wanted nothing more than to know where he came from.

Leia's pendant represented a dark secret that was best kept that way. Her father gave it to her on her seventeenth birthday, and Leia recalled the reluctance in his eyes as he handed the pendant over to her. He instructed her to keep in a safe place and never wear it. Leia had wondered why her father gave it to her when it was something to be hidden. But Bail Organa, always true to his word, promised her birth mother that he would pass on the pendant to Leia. She frowned and wondered what her father was afraid of if anyone saw her with it.

Her fingers slid off of the pendant. The pendants and how they came into Luke and Leia's possession had to be more than a coincidence. She shivered as she thought about it, but any logical reason escaped her. Maybe these pendants were just trinkets given to children as a talisman meant to protect its owner. But both Luke and she were told that the pendants were made by their birth fathers and given to their birth mothers to be passed on to them. It could be a superstitious tale to make adopted children feel as if their birth parents loved them even though they were given away.

But unlike Luke, Leia never wondered about her birth parents. She loved her adopted parents too much to care who gave her life and why she was given up. Bail knew that; he once asked her why she never asked about her origins. There was no reason he would give her a pendant from her birth parents unless there was something important about it.

Maybe there was something mystical about these pendants. Maybe they attracted each other across the galaxy and brought Luke and Leia together. Maybe she was supposed to find Luke. Leia chuckled to herself. It was Luke who found her and neither of them had their pendants on them. Mystical powers, nothing seemed more ridiculous.

Leia thought about asking Threepio the odds that two strangers from two different planets would be given similar pendants from his or her mother that was made by his or her father. But there was really no point. She really didn't want to know, and she almost wished Han had never given her Luke's pendant.

"Hey, Your Worship!" Han's voice crackled over the comm. "Get up to the cockpit now!"

"No please?"

"Please. Now get that pretty little ass of yours up here right now!"

"What a flattering invitation," she sniped, but when no answer came, Leia figured it must be something serious. She pulled on the parka and whisked herself away to the cockpit.

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Solo looked over his shoulder at Leia when she rushed into the cockpit. His facial features pinched slightly as he scrutinized her outfit.

"What's wrong?"

Leia wore Luke's suede boots and his khaki Alliance issued pants. They hung low on her hips, exposing a sliver of her midsection, and the pant legs were tucked into the boots to manage the excess material. The thermal shirt she wore was hers, and as usual, his parka hung heavy on her shoulders. Han wasn't sure whether or not she was asking what was wrong with her outfit or why he insisted on her presence in the cockpit.

He decided it was the latter, "A Star Destroyer."

Leia's face paled though she hadn't sighted it herself, "How far away?"

"Not far enough," Han's lips grimly pressed together. "We're certain we've been detected."

The princess gazed upon the beautiful planet ahead of them, their salvation. They were so close…Why couldn't anything ever go right? She sighed. When Han was involved nothing ever went right.

"Can we out run them?"

Chewie growled, and Leia knew she didn't like his answer.

"We could," Han stared ahead of him, "but then we'd look guilty."

"We are guilty."

He looked at her over his shoulder, "They don't know that. Yet."

Leia stretched her neck over Han's shoulder to steal a gander of the readouts on the scanner. She sucked in a breath, "That's not an average Star Destroyer. That's a Super Star Destroyer."

Han cringed, "I was hopin' you wouldn't notice that." Well, there's no point in hiding any more information from her. "It's the Avenger."

Leia sank into the high-back seat behind Han's. The Avenger was Vader's flag ship, and Vader, reputed to prefer the open space to being land-side, usually could be found on the Avenger.

She strapped herself in and glanced at Threepio who imitated her actions, "Run."

"Leia…" Han hesitated. "We have nowhere to run to."

"That hasn't stopped us before."

Chewie mumbled as he gazed upon Han's profile.

"Why don't we continue on our current path but speed up a bit," Leia suggested. "Once we get into Rutan's atmosphere and make contact with Taroon, we should be okay."

Han swiveled his chair around to face Leia. He was met with large dilated eyes. He chose his words carefully and kept his tone gentle, "Against the Empire, I'm not so certain Taroon can help us."

Leia's chest rose and fell, but she didn't say anything.

"He has his people to worry about." Han lowered his gaze, and he noticed that she held her hands so tight together that her knuckles had turned white. Han shook his head and turned away. Without meeting Chewie's eyes, he gave orders, "We're staying on course. Full speed."

Chewbacca grumbled and grunted, but he followed his captain's orders. Chewie knew it was hopeless, but he also understood why Han made the decision to continue on.

A tense silence oppressed the occupants, and even the garrulous protocol droid didn't utter a word. A litany of Alderaanian prayers occupied the princess' thoughts though she could not concentrate on the words. In her heart she knew they had no chance, and now she pressured Han into dooming the crew. But the thought of facing Vader once again, and this time not alone…_you're not alone_…it was her fault. Han and Chewie weren't wanted by the Empire; she was.

"YT-1300f," the comm crackled. "State your destination and purpose."

Han pressed the comm, "Rutan. We're gonna visit family."

"Hold your position. Prepare to be boarded."

Han lifted his hand off of the comm, "Damn! Now what?"

"We can outrun them," Leia whispered.

"That window's closed, Sweetheart," Han turned and placed a hand on hers. "We're in range of their tractor beam. We should be feelin' its grasp—" the ship shook, "sooner than I thought."

Leia nodded and unstrapped herself, "Luke told me that you have secret storage compartments?"

Chewie's steely blue eyes narrowed and he let out a guttural purr that didn't sound pleasant. Han's forehead crinkled, "Yeah?"

"You, Chewie, and the droids will hide there," Leia ordered.

"Whadda bout you?"

"The Imperials have a warrant on me."

"How do you know they don't have a warrant on us?" Han folded his arms.

"Doesn't matter," Leia shook her head. "I'm wanted for treason. If you do have warrants, the Imperials won't be so interested if they have me."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It does," Leia put her hands on her hips. "I know how the Imperials work."

Solo stood up, "I do too."

"So then it makes sense for you and Chewie to hide," Leia lifted her chin.

"Do you think Chewie and I would abandon you?"

Leia pursed her lips and shifted her eyes to Chewie. She dropped her chin and closed her eyes. "No," she whispered. "I just wish you would."

Han wrapped his arms around her, "I told you I wouldn't leave you."

Leia rested her head against his chest. Han's fear throbbed in her eardrums, but she still felt safe in his embrace, "Vader's on that ship."

"Vader!" Threepio screeched.

Han shot stink-eye at the droid. "I know." He kissed the top of her head, "This time I'll be right there at your side."

Leia's arms tightened around Han's midsection. She didn't fear for her safety but for Han's and Chewie's. They never had any dealings with Vader. They hadn't even been within two meters of that monster. They didn't know what to expect and wouldn't be prepared to survive. Leia closed her eyes and cursed herself for ever telling Han that she didn't want him to leave. What had she done?


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16:

The _Falcon's_ crews' eyes searched one another's as the ship shook and settled into its final resting place which, unfortunately, was in the belly of a Star Destroyer. They all knew the inevitable was about to happen in a matter of moments. Han Solo pulled his blaster out of its holster and checked its power pack. Princess Leia stormed over to his side.

"What do you think you're going to do with that?"

"Just wanna be prepared," Han shoved the weapon back into his holster.

"For what? Death?"

Chewie voiced his opinion.

"No need to be so pessimistic," Han scowled.

Leia narrowed her eyes on him, and before he knew it, she disarmed him and rushed down the corridor.

"Leia!" Han chased after her. "This is no time to play games!"

He found her in his cabin, stuffing the blaster under the pillow on his bed, the place he kept it at night.

"It's gonna be no good to us there."

Leia turned on her heel and headed back to the ramp, "They'll just take it from you, and it'll still be useless to us!" She stopped and looked up at him. "At least you'll still have it if we get out of this," she whispered.

_If…_Han was at a loss for words. He glanced over at his silent best friend and then at the princess whose large brown eyes remained intently focused on the landing ramp. The screeching and ripping of metal grated against Han's ears. He clenched his teeth and imagined punching out every blasted Imp that laid a hand on his beloved ship.

Solo stood there until he could no longer endure the torture of his ship. He walked over to the ramp controls and released the ramp. Leia's mouth dropped open, but did it really make a difference if Han invited the Imperials in? They were coming in invited or not.

Before they had a chance to exchange words six stormtroopers rushed in with blaster rifles drawn and pointed at the _Falcon's_ crew.

"Hands on your head," one ordered, and the crew complied.

"Pardon me," Threepio called out. "I would put my hands on my head, but I fear they don't quite reach."

Han rolled his eyes, "I don't think they were talkin' to you, Goldenrod."

"Move it," a stormtrooper prodded Chewie in the back with his blaster rifle. The enraged Wookie roared but obeyed the order.

The stormtroopers marched the captive rebels down the landing ramp and brought them to a halt in front of an Imperial officer. Han's muscles when rigid as another squad of troopers rushed up the ramp of the _Falcon_.

"You can relax your arms," an Imperial Commander met the ship's crew. "You obviously pose no threat to us."

Han, Chewbacca, and Leia let their hands drop to their sides.

"You just might be surprised," Han narrowed his hazel eyes on the Imperial Commander supervising them, hoping to incite a reaction of some sort, but the officer remained unflappable.

Then a cold tension swept through the Star Destroyer's hangar, pulling Han's attention away from the Commander. Princess Leia shuddered at the sight of the all-too-familiar swirling black cape. She hadn't seen the Dark Lord in years, and she thought that after all she had gone through over the last three years she'd be immune to any reaction upon seeing him. Leia had never been more wrong. Her skin crawled and her head spun, but she refused to let him get to her. She clenched her fists and lifted her chin.

_You are not alone._ Leia's large brown eyes shifted to her left to gauge Han's reaction. He looked as casual and relaxed as usual, but she sensed the increased rate of his heartbeat and the uneasiness in his stomach. Her eyes returned to the Dark Lord. Han's fear scared her, though she understood it. That heartless monster rapidly approaching them was a force to be feared. But that didn't stop Han's emotions from distracting her, and she fought to remain in control of her emotions.

"Your Highness," Darth Vader greeting was emotionless. "We both knew this day would come."

"True," she matched his matter-of-fact tone. "I just imagined it would be under different circumstances."

"Of course," Vader clasped his hands behind his back. "The Emperor will be most pleased to hear of your apprehension."

"I'm sure." The princess raised her right eyebrow, "I expect I shall be treated to one of your interrogation sessions before we reach Coruscant for my staged trial and execution."

"Perhaps more than one," Vader replied and noted how the brave princess failed to suppress her shudder.

And from the look of it, her reaction didn't escape the notice of her companion. Han slid his hand under her coat sleeve and took hold of her hand. The man's anger radiated off of him. Vader sensed Captain Solo's ire stemmed from his helplessness to protect the princess, and he made a mental note of Solo's emotions.

The Dark Lord's hidden eyes slipped down to his captives' linked hands. The parka the princess wore wasn't hers judging from the size of it. But that's not what drew his attention. There was something else….

"Commander," Vader's voice boomed and the Imperial officer hastily stepped forward. "Was the princess searched for weapons?"

He glanced around at his stormtroopers who discreetly looked to their companions. The Commander's face reddened slightly, "I'm sorry, Lord Vader. We failed to search her."

"That mistake could have cost you your life."

The Commander paled, and Vader continued, "The princess of Alderaan should never be underestimated."

"I will remember that in the future," he bowed his head relieved Vader had no intention of punishing him for his mistake.

"There won't be a need. Her Highness' time with us is limited," Vader stared at Leia. "Please finish your assignment."

"Yes, My Lord," the Commander walked over to the princess.

He stared down at her before pushing her arms up into a 'T', forcing Han to release Leia's hand. The Commander ran his hands under the parka and the pushed Leia's arms down. He patted down the coat before reaching into one of the pockets. He pulled out a small flimsy, and Leia's eyes widened at the sight of Han's note in the Imperial's hand.

"Perhaps a coded message," the Commander handed it over to Vader.

Darth Vader stared at the note and silently read it, "Stay warm, Han." He remained quiet as he reflected upon the love and care with which these words were written. Again, useful information, but that wasn't the first thought to cross his mind. Instead, he thought about the worthlessness of the captain's devotion to the princess and how dead his own heart was.

The Dark Lord handed the note back to the Commander, "It's just a note."

Leia's eyes followed the note and swallowed hard when the Imperial officer crumbled it up and tossed it to the floor. She fought the urge to retrieve it. What if that was the last things she was going to have from Han?

Han gently tugged on Leia's braided tail, "Vader's right." She turned angry eyes upon him, but Han just smiled, "It's just a note. Don't get me wrong. I am flattered." Leia rolled her eyes, and his smile slipped into his cocky lop-sided grin. "You don't need it when I'm right here," he winked.

Leia smiled at Han but when the Commander reached into the parka's other pocket, and Leia's heart went cold. She had completely forgotten....The princess reached for Luke's light saber as the Commander pulled it from her pocket. Her hands shook so hard that she couldn't get a purchase on the weapon. But even if she had control of her hands, her actions were futile, and her faulty memory just cost her Luke's light saber.

The Commander handed it over to Darth Vader. Again, Vader remained silent as he stared at the familiar weapon. He didn't need to turn it in his hand. He was all too intimate with the weapon. He just never thought he'd lay his eyes on it again. He figured it was lost with the rest of his past. Obi Wan must have retrieved it before his former friend left him to die. His old Master was always sentimental and soft in the heart.

No. Vader activated his old weapon and glared at the light blue blade. His anger boiled close to the surface. Obi Wan kept it for another purpose: to turn his son against him just as the Emperor foresaw. Vader retreated into himself and searched his feelings. He couldn't pinpoint Luke Skywalker's location, nor could he detect his son's life force. Vader suspected that there was another Jedi Master somewhere hidden in the galaxy who was protecting Luke from him. The Dark Lord deactivated the weapon. He had a feeling he knew who that Jedi Master was. How he survived the Jedi Purge…well, he was always powerful and had many secret allies in powerful positions, one of those allies being the father of the girl who stood before him.

Darth Vader turned his attention back to his captives, "Your Highness. What are you doing with a Jedi's weapon?"

Leia glared at the Sith Lord and said nothing. She waited for Vader's retaliation, but everyone was distracted by the hydraulic hiss of the cargo hold's elevator. Four stormtroopers carried a white box between them. The princess' countenance paled and her blood chilled. She fought to stay on her feet.

"Looks as if they were doing weapons runs for the rebels."

"Be careful not to make assumptions," Vader's cape rolled as he quickly went over to the coffin.

His gloved hand hovered over the controls of the coffin. He positioned himself so that no one could see how his hand shook. He knew what he would find inside the coffin, but for once in his life, he hoped his instincts were wrong. Vader pressed the controls and the lid slid into itself. Hazy flames of white steam hissed and dissipated, revealing the body of his dead son. Vader knelt down beside the coffin and rested his head upon his fist. Everything…the last thing in this life that mattered to him was lost. He growled and whipped his hand around in the princess' direction.

Leia immediately began to gasp as she clawed at her throat.

"Leia!" Han reached out for her, but two stormtroopers pulled him away from her. Three others restrained Chewbacca who howled.

"Leia!" Han screamed again, "Breathe!" He struggled against the stormtroopers grip on him. If only he could shake the air back into her like the last time he did when she stopped breathing.

Vader whirled around and faced his work in progress. The princess' large brown eyes partially closed, but he could feel her shocked and accusatory gaze upon him. Her eyebrows' peeked into a worried triangle and her mouth silently screamed of her surprise. There was an audible click in his breathing as he looked at her. She reminded him of…

He took a step towards her and noticed the pendant around her neck, the pendant he made for his son. Vader, long before he was Darth Vader, carved two from Nubian stone, one for each child Padme carried. Only one child survived according to the records he managed to uncover. Now, both of his children were dead.

R2-D2 rocked back and forth as he tweetered and beeped and screeched.

"Let her go!" Threepio yelled. "You're killing her!"

Darth Vader pulled his hand back as if he was burnt by the protocol droid's words. Leia's long braided tail whipped around as she fell to the ground onto her back. Han gawked at Vader. Was it possible Threepio was right, that Vader did this to Leia? He then shook the stunned troopers off of him and dropped to his knees next to the princess.

"Breathe, Sweetheart," he quietly begged as he shook her.

Leia coughed and gasped, and Han rolled her onto her side. Her friends couldn't help smile despite their dire circumstances, despite the fact that her death wasn't prevented, just postponed. Han stroked her hair as she recovered her breath.

Darth Vader's interest moved from the princess to the droids that accompanied the party of rebels. Threepio trembled. He had no idea what possessed him to raise his voice to the Dark Lord, but Artoo's insistence overrode every self-preserving program he had in him. Threepio was certain that his existence was about to end.

But Darth Vader ignored the frightened protocol droid and moved to stand in front of the astromech droid. He reached out as if he was going to touch the droid, but his hand stopped short.

"Artoo…?" he whispered. Artoo twittered in disgusted and backed up.

Vader then looked over to Han and the princess. "Where did you get these droids?"

Han helped Leia to her feet. She frowned, "I don't know."

"Where!"

"I don't know," Leia didn't hide her anger, her voice raspy. "They were just always there as long as I can remember!"

Darth Vader stared at the two droids before turning his gaze upon the princess, the captain of the ship, and the Wookie. Vader had no purpose for them now that his son was dead. Vader's eyes rested on the princess. His next move would be to take her to Coruscant and hand her over to the Emperor. The droids could be probed for information on the rebels and then have their memories wiped so that they could serve the Empire. Or maybe he would just destroy them. They resembled something too close to a past he had no desire to remember. As for the princess' friends, they would only be useful during the princess' interrogation sessions. He didn't need information concerning his son, but he still had his duties to the Empire. Vader felt deflated and tired. He turned and strolled away.

"Lock them up," he ordered, leaving his men and the rebels confused and shaken.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17:

Darth Vader knelt in front of the Emperor's holotransmission. His helmet hung low, but his posture had less to do with honoring his mentor and more to do with his deflated mood.

"Lord Vader," the Emperor's visage crackled as the transmitter worked to smooth it out. "We have been blessed by an unexpected event."

"Yes, My Lord," Vader lifted his face to his superior. "We have captured the Princess of Alderaan."

"Of course, but that is insignificant in relation to my revelation," Palpatine's voice soured. "I have sensed the death of our greatest enemy, your son…Anakin Skywalker's son. I would have thought you would have sensed it as well."

_Anakin Skywalker's son._ The ancient name floated around his head. Luke was Anakin's son, not Vader's. He bowed his head again. First Obi Wan turns Luke against him, and now the Emperor denies that the boy's blood runs through the veins of the still living parts of Vader's cyborg body. _Are there any living parts left?_

"I have been preoccupied with other matters."

The Emperor's folds on his forehead drooped, "I understand that you are disappointed. Your ambitions of turning Skywalker into our ally were grand, but your offspring was the Chosen One."

Vader's helmeted head popped up, "I don't understand."

"Those Jedi fools were diluted," the Emperor spat. "Did you bring balance to the Force?"

"No," Vader clenched his fist. "I brought order to the galaxy."

"As my apprentice," the Emperor reminded. "That, Lord Vader, was far more important than bringing balance to the Force. The Jedi had grown weak and were in no position to continue serving the useless Republic."

"Yes, my Lord." Vader sat back on his heels. Betrayal between friends and loyalties broken and backstabbing of those most trusted…the Jedi played the games of the politicians, he, _The Chosen One,_ chosen to play both sides. _Not so much by choice. I was a pawn, nothing more._ He, the most powerful Jedi, even more powerful than Yoda, used as a mere tactical convenience because of his friendship with the Chancellor who had political enemies (_Padme?) _in addition to the Jedi. Politicians spying and lying and plotting and sabotaging…endless political games, games the Jedi should have shunned. Those ways were not the Jedi way. Political games had no rules, and from all that Vader—Anakin—observed and did, he came to believe that a firm unrelenting hand is the only way to bring order to the galaxy.

Even if it be at the hand of a Sith Lord.

_Was that the Jedi way?_

Darth Vader gave up the Jedi way a lifetime ago.

"Luke Skywalker would have destroyed all that we have built," the Emperor continued. "The Chosen One was stronger than the both of us combined. He was an unpredictable danger, and attempting to turn him to the Dark Side might not have worked in our favor."

_If you learn the ways of the Sith, you can prevent the death of your loved ones._ But Padme was dead, and now was his son, with the Emperor's elation.

Vader was surprised that the Emperor could not detect his rage. He hid his feelings well, but it didn't hurt that the Emperor had become blinded by his own power. Darth Vader never intended to have anything to do with the Emperor's plan to kill "The Chosen One". Instead, he planned to unite with his son and rid the galaxy of the Emperor. Then he and Luke Skywalker could rule the way he—he and his son, saw fit. Swift justice with an iron fist, that's all that was needed to bring peace and stability to the galaxy. The Emperor had grown more corrupt as the years passed by, diluting his vision for the galaxy. Palpatine's self-serving ways brought chaos and corruption, which inspired insurgents. What went wrong?

"I will be expecting you on Coruscant soon," The Emperor disrupted Vader's thoughts.

"Of course, My Lord," he bowed as he climbed to his feet. "I plan on interrogating the princess for…information concerning the rebels' next terrorist attack."

"Has she ever proved to be useful before?" the Emperor asked, but Vader knew the old Sith Lord wasn't asking so much as letting Vader know that Vader wasn't above suspicion.

"This time I have leverage," he glared at the Emperor.

"Yes_. _Do as you see fit," the Emperor nodded, allowing Vader to keep his secrets for now. "Contact me if anything important comes out of those interrogation sessions."

"Yes, My Lord."

The Emperor's holoimage faded, but Darth Vader remained facing the blank area.

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Han Solo walked by the sealed door and kicked it one more time. Leia cringed but she kept her discomfort to herself. She lied on the floor on her back just a meter from Han using the parka as a pillow. She wasn't sure how long it had been since a swarm of stormtroopers forcefully dragged Chewbacca out of their cell, and no one told her or Han where the Wookie had been taken. Leia watched Han pace around her, fists clenched so tight that his knuckles were white and neck muscles so taunt that they practically popped out of his skin. She wanted to comfort him, but she knew from the way Han fought to control his anger, there wasn't much she could do but wait.

She closed her eyes and wondered what she was waiting for. Vader had appeared what must have been days ago. She tried to keep track of time by the number of meals they were served, but she lost count and couldn't figure out if they were receiving two or three meals a day, or if the day was even standard time.

Vader's appearance had been six or seven meals ago. Leia was certain of that. His visit wasn't memorable because of his menacing appearance. Instead, it was the nature of his visit. The Dark Lord opened their cell door and gazed upon her and Han without uttering a word and without the accompaniment of any stormtroopers or officers. And just as mysteriously as he had appeared, he closed the cell door, leaving Leia and Han to obsess over the meaning of Vader's actions.

Leia focused on her respiration, controlling the amount of oxygen intake and the length of time of both inhalation and exhalation. She had used this technique to get through the tense quiet moments of waiting the first time she was captured by Vader, but this exercise wasn't working as well for her this time. Han's anger, frustration, and hate slammed hard against her chest each time she inhaled, and her heart screamed out for him. The princess opened her eyes and closed them again as she refocused her attention on her respiration.

Despite the pounding echoes of Han's footfalls, the swish of the cell door opening was deafening. Leia sat up, eyes wide and alert. Darth Vader's form filled the entire doorway, and the princess couldn't help but wonder how the stormtroopers who flanked him managed to enter the cell. But they did, and their blaster rifles remained trained on her and Han.

Despite the danger, Han rushed toward the Dark Lord. Although the troopers didn't move, they looked more than ready to blast a few holes into him. Leia jumped up and blocked Han's path.

"Where's Chewie, you sorry excuse for a Sith Lord!" Han yelled as Leia used her entire body to stop his advancement.

"Han, please!" she begged.

"Your Wookie has been sold to slavers," Vader answered, to everyone's surprise.

"Why, you--!" Han pushed forward. Even if it killed him, he was going to get his last fight in and inflict as much damage he could for Chewie.

"Han!" Leia's voice echoed off of the black shiny walls, and she managed to overpower Solo, shoving him hard against the farthest wall from Vader and the stormtroopers.

"Han!" she yelled again, but Han continued staring at Vader, and his muscles still fought to attack his nemesis.

The princess pressed her body against Han, and she took hold of his face with both of her hands. Leia stretched up to her tip-toes, "He's better off."

Han's rage-filled glare pierced Leia's eyes, and she swallowed hard. She pulled his face down so that he would see her beyond his rage. "He has a better chance out there than in here."

Han froze, and Leia took the opportunity to press her cheek against his. She whispered into his ear, "I'm here. It's you and me now. If anything happens to you, what do you think it'll do to me?"

Han's eyes softened, and the rage there was replaced with fear. Leia's eyebrows pulled together; that wasn't exactly what she was going for, but under the circumstances…she placed a kiss on his cheek as she pulled away, "I'm not afraid, and you're not alone."

_You're not alone. I'm in your blood._

Darth Vader intently watched the couple's interaction. He would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised that the petite princess overpowered the raging man who had to weigh twice as much as she. That was most unexpected. The princess' effect on Captain Solo captivated him. She soothed him, or rather, controlled him so easily, both physically and emotionally. Princess Leia, though, was a politician. Words came easy to her kind. But the strength? Adrenaline in the heat of the moment? It was possible.

Leia kept her hand pressed firmly on Han's chest as she turned her body towards Vader. Her long braided tail snapped with her sharp movement and her fury blasted cold against him. Vader's mechanical breathing hiccupped as he registered this unusual sensation. The life support system in which his body was encased was equipped with climate control, and Darth Vader hadn't felt the touch of a cool breeze or the warm of a summer sun on his body or face since the day he was created into…into…what was he? Where did he fit in now? Nevertheless, it felt as if the icy crystals of sand blown by a Tatooine winter wind slashed and chilled his entire body, even those parts that contained no living flesh or blood. Had he underestimated this girl when he held her captive three years before?

Maybe…maybe not. Vader had only two motives at the time he captured Princess Leia near Tatooine: to reclaim the stolen plans for the Death Star and to find the location of the rebel base. He failed to get anything from her. This time…Vader's head dropped a millimeter. This time his motives melted away with the death of his son. There wasn't much to distract him now.

Darth Vader's dark orbs scrutinized the angry princess. His vision finally rested on the pendant around her neck, the pendant he, in a life he no longer wanted to remember, carved for his child. Vader clenched his fists at the thought of that pendant in the hands or around the neck of anyone other than his son. He stormed over to the princess and stood over her.

But Leia didn't flinch. With her hand still over Han's heart, she straightened her posture and morphed into the fiery senator princess Vader recognized so well. Darth Vader reached out and touched Luke's pendant with one finger, and despite all her fronting, he could feel the tremble in her body. Still, she refused to cower to him. Vader's eyes shifted to Captain Solo who looked ready to tear Vader's head off as if Solo was the one who possessed his Wookie companion's strength. But Solo said nothing.

"You knew Skywalker well."

Leia wasn't sure if that was a question or a statement. She fought her urge to look at Han. If she did, her courage might crumble and fall away.

"You possessed his light saber. You wear his pendant."

Leia's mouth formed a small 'o', and she suppressed the urge to grab it when Vader's finger lied upon it. "How?" was all she could manage to say.

The princess knew his son and not in the distant sense of a commanding officer and underling. _She has knowledge…_

"Tell me about Skywalker," Vader commanded.

This time Leia reacted. She took a step closer to Han, and Han's hands gripped her waist.

"Tell me."

The princess inhaled, "Commander Skywalker has…had a pure heart that matched no other." She narrowed his eyes, "All he dreamed of was to be like his father and become a Jedi to fight against evil like you!"

_Luke, his son, wanted to be like him._ But not like Darth Vader. "Evil is relative, Your Highness. Wouldn't you agree, Captain Solo?"

Princess Leia pressed her body against Han to prevent him from responding.

Darth Vader silently evaluated his captives. Both Captain Solo and the princess had strong feelings for Skywalker, Solo's being more transparent than the girl's. Solo also carried…guilt.

"How did Skywalker die?"

"Why?" Leia shifted so that she could lay her hands upon Han's.

"How?"

"He froze out in the snow on Hoth!" Han spat.

"It was your fault…"

"No!" Leia cut in to prevent Han from reliving that horrid night and reclaiming his self-contempt for something beyond his control. "It was an accident, a stupid accident that wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the stupid state of the galaxy." Keeping her hands glued on Han's, Leia ventured a step forward, "The way I look at it, it's your fault Luke died!"

Han quickly pulled Leia to the side of him as he tried to figure a way he could protect her from Vader's wrath. But Vader did nothing. He didn't even move.

"You killed Luke!" She screamed as she pushed the Darth Lord's hand away from her. "Just like you betrayed and killed his father!"

_Padme's dead. You killed her._

Darth Vader shoved Solo away from the princess, ripping her from Han's grip. Vader then grabbed Leia's chin and squeezed his hand closed while he stared into her eyes.

"Let her go!" Han yelled as he tried to regain his feet, but the smooth floor felt as if it was coated in oil.

Vader stared into the princess' large dark and defiant eyes. He had seen such eyes before….

_I'm not afraid to die._

Darth Vader opened his hand and let Princess Leia go. He took several steps away from her and allowed Captain Solo to return to her side. Solo wrapped his arms around the girl, positioning his body so that he partially stood in front of her without turning his back on Vader. Vader lifted a hand and dismissed the stormtroopers.

"You were close to Skywalker."

The princess sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling weak. Vader always knew how to hurt her; of course he was a Sith Lord. It still shouldn't surprise her. But all these questions about Luke were more painful than any interrogation session she had ever endured under his hands. "Why is this important?" she whispered.

"Answer me."

Leia screwed her eyes shut, "He was my best friend! He saved my life when I had no life left! Yes, we were close!"

Darth Vader approached her, wrapped his fingers around the pendant, and pulled hard so that the tether broke. He wrapped the cord around his fingers and turned to leave.

"What about Luke?" Leia whispered.

"He will receive a proper burial," Vader stated without turning around.

The cell door slammed shut, leaving Han and Leia alone once again. Leia gasped, turned around in Han's embrace, and buried her teary face in his chest. Her knees went weak, and holding her tight, Han used his body to cushion her decent to the floor.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18:

Darth Vader gripped the light saber with both hands, tightening and loosening his hold to a rhythm of his own. How he wished he could feel the cold metal of the hilt against his skin, but that was a wish even the most powerful Jedi, not even a Sith Lord, could not make come true. Vader activated the bright blue blade and gazed upon it until his orbital light sensors adjusted his sight. Beyond the sizzling blade sat two deactivated droids. He pointed the tip of the blade toward the stout astromech droid and held it above its dome head.

Darth Vader's vision shifted between the tip of the blade and the R2-unit. He knew he should drag the saber's blade clean through the center of the droid. He knew that would be for the best. Vader stepped closer to the inactive droid and lined the blade up with the center of its domed head. He held the light saber steady, waiting, wondering…The blue light of the blade reflected off the slumped protocol droid that leaned against the astromech.

Vader deactivated the weapon and tossed it to the floor. He backed away from the two droids and shook his head. It was too much of a coincidence, these two droids. Maybe it was the trick of the Force meant to haunt and torture him as he had done to so many others. As he had done to the princess. Darth Vader clenched his fists and used the Force to slam the door of the closet which housed the deactivated droids shut. The princess would have the biggest laugh if she ever knew that the Dark Lord of her nightmares feared her antique R2-unit and its golden counterpart.

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Han Solo lied on his back in the middle of the small cell, using his parka as a pillow. His arms lied next to his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He was vaguely aware of the princess who sat at the edge of his peripheral vision. His mind churned in circles; there had to be a way out of here. Everything had a way out. There was _always_ a way out.

"This doesn't taste too bad," Leia said and she touched the spoonful of white paste to her tongue again. "Hhmm, it's rather tasty, well, tastier than anything they've served us before. Or I'm just acquiring a taste for Imperial gruel."

Han closed his eyes. No, he was wrong. He had just been lucky in the past, and all his luck had to be completely depleted when he, Chewie, Luke, and Leia escaped off of the Death Star.

But did he really escape?

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Han's lips pulled into a small smile the moment her voice touched his eardrums. No, he never escaped the Death Star, just got himself trapped in a bigger mess. But then he decided long ago before he even knew he decided that he didn't want to escape. Han turned his head and watched Leia clean the plate of whatever she thought was decent enough to eat.

Then Han's smile faded. He might be watching Leia consume her last meal. He turned his head away and resumed staring up at the ceiling. _She's gonna die._ She was going to die and he couldn't do a single thing to stop it from happening. He was worthless to her. _Maybe I'll die first…_

The princess looked over at Han, "You okay?"

"Sure," he muttered. "Being Vader's prisoner is just fine with me."

Leia put down the spoon and pressed her lips together. _I'm sorry._ The princess crawled on her hands and knees over to Han. He closed his eyes as she approached, and she frowned. She then lied down on her back so that the top of her head touched his. She laid her arms in the same position as Han's and rested her hands in his. Leia rubbed the back of her hands against his calloused palms, and her eyes closed as she savored the feel of his skin against hers.

Han slowly inhaled. He held his fingers stretched out and as still as he could for as long as he could stand it. Those small hands were the softest he ever felt and the strongest he ever encountered in someone so tiny. Han exhaled, and his fingers captured and released her fingers as she slid her hands over his.

"Leia?"

Her eyes opened into slits but she continued to move her hands against his. "What?" she whispered and swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"I'm sorry 'bout Luke."

"Sh," she screwed her eyes shut. "Stop being sorry for something that's not your fault."

"I'm still sorry."

"Don't be," she stopped moving her hands but kept them lying in his.

Han's fingers released hers. "It's just…" he stopped as he tried to order his thoughts. Everything seemed so jumbled up inside his head, inside his heart. Han sighed, "It's just what you told Vader…'bout Luke."

Leia answered after several heartbeats of silence, "I haven't had a friend like Luke since…well, never." She licked her lips and opened her eyes, "I feel like…like a part of me died when he died."

Han's jaw tightened, "That's why I'm sorry."

"I _don't_ want you to be."

"I know."

Leia pulled her hands from his. Han fought the urge to grab them, to hold onto her and never let go. But he didn't. He would never keep her against her will. He opened his eyes and blinked twice as his vision came into focus. Leia had rolled onto her stomach and held her weight up with her forearms so that her face hovered over his.

"Luke is…was my best friend," she breathed, "and I'll never recover from his death, not completely, just like I'll never recover from…Alderaan."

Han nodded. Why did he start this conversation? "I'm—"

"But Luke," Leia cut him off, "he isn't _you_, Han."

Han's brow furrowed. He watched her large brown eyes widen centimeters above his and felt her warm breath rustle his hair.

"Han, you're everything to me. You've given me something to live for," she confessed and her eyes closed. "I just wish I wasn't so afraid…" Leia shook her head and looked into his eyes again, "Luke knew how I felt about you."

Han's lips twisted into a lop-sided grin, "He did? He never told me you talked to him 'bout me."

"I never spoke a word to him about you," Leia smugly smiled. "And he would have never told you anything I said if I did."

"Always the gentleman."

Leia's smile shifted into something more wistful, "Luke just knew how I felt. He never said he knew, but I just…I don't know, I just knew he knew."

"Ain't that—"

Leia rolled her eyes and pressed her lips to his before he could say another word.

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Darth Vader hooked his thumbs in his belt as he walked down the corridor. Normally, he took pleasure in the fear he inspired in those he passed, the way they scuttled out of his way like little bugs so easily squashed under his boot. Today, though, the Dark Lord of the Sith didn't even notice the entourage that followed him. He had only one thing on his mind. Darth Vader would break the Princess of Alderaan once and for all.

Vader stepped into the elevator and his accompanying stormtroopers and Imperial officers rushed to get in before the doors closed. The rapid beats of his underlings' hearts dully thumped in the back of his head as they tried to stand the farthest distance away from him. Again, Vader didn't notice. He stared straight ahead at the closed doors. He had performed more interrogations than he cared to remember, and all cracked and crumbled like a sandcastle underneath his slightest touch. All but one.

Darth Vader thought he would be more pleased to have a second chance to interrogate Princess Leia, but the whole idea left a bad taste in his mouth. He killed her several times while he questioned her on the Death Star, but he didn't come close to breaking down her defenses. He had never come across a mind that could repel his probes the way hers did, and she seemed to do it without much effort. It was as if it came natural to her. Princess Leia was young, idealistic, and willful, much like him in another life. Such wills are hard to break, but they were breakable. He would know.

Still what he was about to do brought him no pleasure. He was about to violate her mind for no other reason than to find out what makes her tick. There was nothing noble in his intentions, nor was he doing it in the service of the Empire. His motives were purely selfish, but it wasn't the first time he had ever been selfish. It was just the first time his conscience itched about it, and he didn't even know he had a conscience left.

The zip of the elevator door startled Darth Vader, and a tremor of fear slammed against him. Vader gritted his teeth together. If only he didn't need so many aids and guards for this interrogation, but he wasn't going to take any chances of anything going wrong. Vader stormed out of the elevator and down the detention corridor, and his entourage fought to keep up with his rapid pace without following the Dark Lord too close.

Once he reached the third door on the right, Darth Vader tapped on the security pad and the cell door zipped open. A light euphoric wave pushed against his heavily armored body seconds before his captives noticed his presence. He frowned inside his emotionless mask. That's not what Vader expected from his prisoners.

The princess and the smuggler sat facing each other, her legs stretched over his and his arms wrapped around her waist. She slipped a spoon from his mouth while wearing a smile Vader had seen before but not on the princess. It was a relaxed intimate smile inspired by her companion and meant only for him. It had been a long time Vader had seen such a smile and even longer when such a smile was meant for him. Now no one smiled at him anymore, but he usually doesn't give those in his presence a reason to smile.

The spoon tumbled from the princess' hand and clattered against the cold durasteel floor as her head swiveled in Vader's direction, her smile morphing into a look of horror.

Han kept his arms secure around Leia, "Darth Vader. I would say it's a pleasure to see you, but well…" his nose squished up, "you understand. I'm sure you get that a lot."

Vader stared at the obstinate man and seethed. His uneasiness about violating the princess' mind faded. He had planned on having a private session with the princess, but it was obvious Captain Solo needed to be educated in the art of Imperial interrogations.

"Take them both."

Darth Vader's cape bellowed and deflated as he stormed out of the cell. A uniformed officer rushed over to the princess and dragged her to her feet by her arms before securing her hands in electro-cuffs. Another officer and stormtrooper apprehended Han and cuffed his hands. Han and Leia were shoved and pushed and prodded forward with blaster rifles to a room at the end of the narrowing hall.

Leia doubled over and wretched the moment the sterile stench of the room accosted her sense of smell. Vader wished the princess could see his face and the satisfaction that her moment of weakness brought him. She hadn't forgotten her time spent on the Death Star. Perhaps this interrogation would be much easier than Vader anticipated.

"Leia!" Han tried to go to her side, but a stormtrooper grabbed his arm and pulled him deeper into the room.

"I'm fine," Leia wiped at her mouth and then resumed her royal persona. She shook off the hold of her guard and entered the room with her head held up high and a defiant gleam in her eyes.

Darth Vader stood at the head of a metal table that, save for the metal restraints, resembled that of an examination table used in veterinaries. Next to Vader stood a tangle of medical equipment amidst ominous-looking contraptions that definitely had one purpose only: to cause pain.

Leia swallowed down the bile that rose in her throat and did her best to control her respiration. _I can't…_ She looked up at Han who stood beside her. His eyes were glued to the equipment next to Vader, and his face was pale. Leia turned her head away from him and glared at the Dark Lord. _Don't you dare. I will kill you._

"Remove their restraints."

The stormtroopers' fingers fumbled as they undid Han's and Leia's cuffs, fearing they wouldn't complete Darth Vader's command fast enough. Once they finished they backed away from their prisoners. Leia rubbed the skin of her wrists. Without warning, a uniformed Imperial grabbed her arm. She had no time to react as a needle pressed into her neck. Her head began to spin and her muscles weakened.

Han caught Leia before she crashed to the floor, "What did you give her!"

"Do not worry…yet, Captain Solo," Vader answered. "It is only a muscle relaxer. Her Highness has proven quite difficult in the past. I just want to assure no one, besides her of course, gets hurt."

"Whatever you plan for her," Han's chest heaved up and down. "Do it to me."

"That is very noble of you, Captain, but you do not possess the knowledge I seek."

"I've been with the rebellion ever since I pulled her off of your obviously flawed Death Star. I know quite a bit."

"Shut up," Leia slurred.

"Now, if you please, Captain, place the princess on the table."

"Nuh-uh," Han tightened his hold on Leia. "That's not gonna happen. You're gonna hafta do all your dirty work on your own."

Before his last syllable left his mouth all armed Imperials had their weapons trained on him.

"You will do what I ordered."

"What?" Han shifted his weight so that most of his body uselessly stood in front of Leia whom he still supported. "Kill me? Go ahead. I'm not gonna help you!"

"You don't want your death on the princess' hands."

"If I die, it's on your hands, not hers."

"Do you think that she will see it that way? After all, you _are_ my prisoner because she was on your ship."

Han clenched his teeth and looked down at the girl he held up. She leaned against him and rested her head against his chest, but she wouldn't still be on her feet if his arms weren't securely wrapped around her. Han closed his eyes. Vader was right; Leia still held herself responsible for Alderaan. She held herself responsible for the predicament they were in now. He wouldn't put his death on her conscience.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart," Han lifted Leia into his arms. Her head flopped against his shoulder. He gently placed her on the cold table.

Han smoothed her hair then looked up at Vader.

"Now place her hands in the restraints."

Han narrowed his eyes on his enemy and picked up Leia's hand.

Her large brown eyes looked up at him, "Han?"

"Sorry, Leia," Han kissed her hand before securing the restraint around her wrist.

"Don't be," she said as she watched him restrain her other hand. "Not your fault."

Han gave her a small close-mouth smile as he pressed his hand against her abdomen. Two stormtroopers grabbed his arms and wrenched him away from her side. They replaced the restraints on his hands and waited for their Dark Lord's next command. At the small gesture of Vader's hand, a slim man wearing a uniform a lighter shade of gray than the other uniformed men in the room stepped forward, pushed the princess' sleeve up, and pressed the needle of a syringe into her arm.

Leia's eyes screwed shut and her mouth opened as if she intended to release a scream. But she remained silent even as the burning solution spread through her veins. She had experienced this sensation before, and Leia reminded herself that she had endured it that time and that if she just wouldn't fight it, if she just put pain in the back of her head, she could overcome it. But once the searing solution sizzled through her brain all her thoughts burned away and panic set in.

Han's muscles trembled, and the stormtroopers holding his arms tightened their grip on him. The Imperial who injected Leia slipped a thick ring around her finger, and one of the monitors lit up and began to beep in an erratic rhythm.

Solo cringed at the sound representing Leia's heartbeat, "You gonna kill her before you ask her a single question?"

"She has survived death before."

Han's stomach cramped up. _Leia could die again and again on that table, and I still can't do anything to save her. _

The technician pulled her shirt up to expose the princess' midsection. He placed four coin-like objects upon her body, each carefully spaced from each other. Then he slipped his hand under her shirt and placed a few more on her chest. The Imperial stepped away from her and nodded to his assistant near the equipment. Leia bit her bottom lip as the small contraptions imbedded themselves into her skin. Han bit his own lip as he watched her blood color her lips and seep into the minute spaces between her teeth.

The technician's assistant injected Leia with another syringe, and she showed no reaction.

"Whaddya just give her?"

"Trapanal."

"A truth serum?" Han snorted. "Did it work the last time you used it on her?"

"I want to relax her mind to make things…easier on her."

"Yeah," Han sniped, "you're the big humanitarian."

Darth Vader ignored Solo and waved a hand over the princess. The coin-like devices buzzed and crackled as currents of light jumped between them. Leia panted and the scream of the monitor quickened, but she herself emitted no sound. Han's own heart quickened, and he swallowed down the scream she refused to release. If she wouldn't give in, then he wouldn't either, no matter how much it pained him. Han just hoped he was as strong as she.

Darth Vader repeatedly signaled for the coin-like devices to be activated and deactivated for several excruciating intervals, each longer than the last. Han watched Leia writhe and fight for her breath as long as he could. He looked up at Vader to find that monster watching him.

"Bastard!" Han spat.

Vader continued to stare at Solo as the coin-like devices quieted. Leia's body relaxed and she took in as much air as she could breathe. Han wanted nothing more than to check on Leia, but he refused to look away from the Sith Lord in fear Vader might continue to use Leia as a way to torture him.

But Darth Vader had other more prevalent matters to attend to, and he was certain that Captain Solo understood that his actions and words had consequences. Vader looked down at the princess. He dragged a gloved finger along her chin line, passed her ear, and across her forehead. The girl's eyes fluttered open, and those large brown eyes glared up at him, screaming of her anger, her contempt, and…Vader pulled back his finger and briefly glanced at Solo. Unlike the smuggler, the princess didn't have an ounce of fear in her tiny body. It was as if he tortured all of her fear away and replaced it with raw hate. That was most unexpected. On the Death Star, the more defiant she became, the more her fear increased. Now, Princess Leia gazed upon him as if she, she who was strapped down to this table and drugged, was the one with all the power.

He had wasted enough time. Darth Vader clamped his large hand around the girl's head. Leia's eyes squeezed shut, and the monitor blared as the rate of her heartbeat climbed and climbed once again.

"Leia!"

Leia heard someone call for her, but she couldn't discern from what direction. She tried to look around, but with each attempt to move the pain in her head increased. Then her world turned dark.

"Leia!"

Who was it that called her? The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place to whom the voice belonged. Her eyes chased the dim light she caught in her peripheral sight, but she couldn't quite pin down the source of the light. Leia tried to call out, to call back to the bodiless voice, but she found that she herself had no voice of her own. Something heavy and suffocating pressed down against her, smashing her deeper and deeper into…

Leia's muscles tensed as an intense pain seared her brain. It was unlike no other pain she had ever experienced. A hot durasteel stick poked and prodded her mind, and each probe of the phantom tool burned scalding holes that burrowed deeper and deeper into her head. Leia didn't know what Vader was searching for, but she knew it had nothing to do with the Rebel Alliance. This sensation was new, and Leia doubted that she could deflect his invasion much longer.

Han never felt more helpless in his life. He had heard rumors of the strange things that Darth Vader could do, like kill a man with his mind. He never believed such rumors, but now as he watched Leia suffer while Vader caressed her hair, Han's frustration and worthlessness gripped his entire body like a tourniquet. He now truly understood that he never had the power to protect her at all, and the one person who had an inkling of a chance to save Leia from that monster was dead.

"Luke," Leia breathed and a light smile touched her lips.

The monitors tracking Leia's vital signs ceased erratically beeps, and settled into a constant and unending screech.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19:

Han Solo held his breath as he waited for Darth Vader to bring Leia's heart back to life. He waited and waited…

"Sir?"

Vader stared down at the princess as he dug his fingers into her temples.

Han pulled against the guards holding him, "Come on! Bring 'er back to life!"

"Sir? She won't last—"

The technician slammed into the monitor tracking Leia's dead heartbeat, and both the monitor and the man crashed lifeless to the floor.

Han's head swiveled between the broken monitor and the princess. Moments ago he himself would have smashed that monitor to pieces just to shut it up. But now, with no way to know of Leia's condition, he wished he could piece that thing together and force it to make her heart beat.

"Luke…" Princess Leia's lungs deflated and her body went limp.

A cool breeze kissed her cheeks and swept across her body. Leia tried to look around to see who caressed her head, but she found that she could not move. Everything was gray and hazy like a snowy winter day in Aldera. It felt crisp and clean and refreshing, nothing like Hoth. The hazy gray cooled her mind and insulated it against whatever was fighting to get in. It had been so long since she had felt such unadulterated peace.

The princess would have smiled if she could. She recognized that soft gentle touch that soothed her hair. How could she not?

_I'm in your blood._

Leia tried her voice, but she found that it was still lost to her. Luke's hand calmed her urges to communicate. His fingers touched her mind here and there, releasing memories of long forgotten days. Faces appeared through the haze and then faded, leaving her with a sense of security and wellness. She tried to capture the most treasured moments of her life as they passed through her, but Leia couldn't quite get a strong enough purchase on them. That didn't matter; they strengthened her resolve and brought her elation. Leia felt as if she was floating between dimensions and realities, drifting through time. She found herself in a place she never wanted to leave….

The light dimmed, and the haze dispersed, leaving a small boy crouched in an alcove. His misty blue eyes lifted and gazed upon her.

_I miss my mother…_

Darth Vader wrenched his hand off the princess' head and shook it. Leia gasped. Her large brown eyes popped wide open and gazed up at him. He backed away from her. She gasped and coughed as her body reclaimed what Vader took from her.

"Leia!" Han laughed. "Ha!"

The girl blinked her eyes and then turned her head. She smiled at Han.

"Take them back to their cell," Vader ordered as he started toward the door. "Draw a sample of her blood and bring it to me." With that the Dark Lord took his leave.

"Come on," an Imperial signaled to the remaining occupants of the room. "You two, clean up that mess. The rest take him back."

Leia's head followed Han until he was pulled out of the room. She swallowed and then sighed. The technician's assistant came to her side, but she didn't care. She closed her eyes and smiled.

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Darth Vader paced the length of his private quarters, and though it was a considerably large room, Vader's long frantic strides allowed him to cross the room in four or five steps. He sharply turned each time he reached a wall as his mind mauled over the interrogation session he just performed. He thought this time it would be so easy. He thought that he cracked Princess Leia enough the first time he repeatedly interrogated her on the Death Star to break her in just one session. Not only did he not come close to breaking her, she managed to turn things around on him.

_I miss my mother…_

That little boy in her head who missed his mother, who cried freely…How? It was impossible. The princess wasn't even born. _It could be any little boy._ Vader slammed his fist on his desk before turning to pace in the other direction. The Dark Lord pushed down the chord of sorrow that image struck inside him. Anger, lust for power…those were the only things he felt these days. All his sentimental mistakes died with the man he used to be. Sentimental attachments brought his demise, made him into this freak of a man who relied on a respirator, wires, and an armored encasement that held him prisoner and protected him from the elements of life. Anger, revenge, lust for power, that's all he had room for in his artificial heart now. He would not let a long lost memory… long lost memory…

_Space travel is cold._

_She_ betrayed him. He killed her. His journey down the path of the Dark Side was complete on that day.

_I killed her._

He sacrificed _everything_ for her and his unborn children. He chose to be Palpatine's apprentice so he could learn the ways of the Sith specifically to learn the way to keep loved ones from dying. Vader snorted. All his loved ones died before he had the chance to further his Sith education. _And_ he still hadn't learned to prevent death in anyone.

_The princess should have died on that table._

Darth Vader couldn't say that he wanted the girl to die. If she did, he wouldn't be able to further explore her mind. In the past, he relied on medical technology to bring her back to life if he accidentally killed her, the same medical technology he destroyed during the interrogation session. Princess Leia fought back harder than he expected, and he knew he couldn't let her win even if it cost her life.

_I killed her._

And the princess still fought him after she expelled her last breath. She was dead. It should have ended. Vader stopped in front of the closet that housed the princess droids. He waved his hand and the door opened. He stared at the lifeless droids. _Someone else was in there with her._ That was impossible. He would have immediately detected that presence and destroyed it. Vader felt only her, but…every life force has its own individual imprint in the Force. The princess' life force shifted as she died. It was as if a shadow enveloped her, but it was definitely her. She was dead, and Vader never interrogated a corpse before. She should have remained a corpse. But she didn't, and he had nothing to do with that part.

The Sith Lord snorted again. Princess Leia left _him_ disturbed. How she did it, he didn't know.

"Lord Vader?"

"What do you want?"

"I-I have the princess' blood sample."

Darth Vader stalked over to the man who interrupted his thoughts, and for once he was grateful for such a distraction.

He took the sample, "Thank you. You may have a day of recreation."

The man's eyes widened before he bowed his head, "Thank you, Lord Vader."

Darth Vader waved the man away and sat down at his desk. He held the vial of blood up and slowly tipped it side to side. He watched the sanguine liquid slide around its narrow glass container. Then he opened it and poured a drop onto a small device. The slender device clicked then blipped as the results of the test blinked on its tiny screen.

All of Vader's life support systems shut down for half a second before coming on-line again. Her midi-chlorian levels surpassed his. How could he not feel her presence in the Force like he did his son's? More importantly, how did the Emperor miss it?

Darth Vader closed the vile of blood. Princess Leia was Force-sensitive. He doubted that even she was aware of it. Holding her vile of blood as if it was a precious talisman, Vader walked over to his closet and gazed upon her droids. There were too many coincidences for all of this to be a coincidence.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Han Solo sat against the wall across from the cell door and held his head in his hands. All this was just too much to take. But he had to take it; what choice did he have? Han sighed. Even if he had a choice, he would never let Leia go through all this alone. Han stared at the shiny black floor. She was alone on the Death Star. She must have been scared. Did his presence make her less frightened this time?

Even if it didn't, Han wanted to be at her side to offer her any comfort he could.

The cell door zipped open and Han jumped up to his feet.

"Stay where you are, rebel," an Imperial officer pointed his blaster at Solo.

"Leia," Han smiled, relieved to see her.

Leia returned his smile but said nothing. The officer's companion held her up as her feet struggled to keep up with him. As the Imperial approached the door, he let go of Leia and she tumbled to the floor.

"Go on, _Your Highness_," he sneered. "Get into your cell."

Leia pushed herself up to her hands and knees and started to crawl toward the cell. Just as she reached the entrance, the Imperial who released her grabbed her ankle and dragged her back. She collapsed and allowed the Imperial to abuse her without a fight.

"Hasn't she suffered enough?" Han yelled.

"Lord Vader killed our friend because of her," the Imperial with the blaster spat. "She deserves a lot more."

Leia yelped as the Imperial's boot slammed into her side.

"Stop!"

"Sure, cuz you say so!"

The Imperials toyed with the princess', smiling and laughing as they assaulted her, and all Han could do was watch. His face burned red and he clenched his fists. The moment the Imperial holding the blaster turned away to kick the princess again, Han rushed the man and smashed his fist into the man's nose. He cried out in pain as blood began to gush down his face.

The other Imperial grabbed the blaster and prepared to shoot Han.

"I don't think Vader will be very happy if you kill us," Han narrowed his eyes on the man as he gathered Leia in his arms. "I got the feelin' he wants us alive so he can hand us over to the Emperor."

The Imperial's arm shook. He then lowered the blaster. "The moment you're expendable, you're mine."

"Lookin' forward to it," Han mirthlessly smiled.

The door slid shut and Han's body relaxed. He carefully laid the princess on the floor and tucked the coat under her head.

"Those Imperial bastards," Han muttered.

Leia reached up and placed her trembling hand on Han's stomach, "Doesn't matter anymore."

"How could you—" Han bit his tongue and let that thought go. After what Vader did to her, he supposed those Imperials were nothing.

Not that Han understood what that monster did. He grabbed the edge of her shirt and pushed it up, grimacing at the poor patch-up job the Imperials did on her wounds.

"It's not as bad as it looks," she responded.

"Don't know," Han pulled her shirt down. "Looks pretty bad."

Luke's combat pants hung low on her hips, and a swatch of her midsection remained vulnerably exposed. Han ran his hand over her exposed skin. "We need to get you some clothes that fit better."

"We can go on a shopping spree when we get out of her," she smiled up at him. "I'll even let you pick out my wardrobe."

Han's eyebrows jumped up, "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"Figured you would," she closed her eyes.

Han frowned, "I wish that—"

"No," she put a finger on his lips and held it there for a moment. "Better me than you."

Han cringed and looked away.

_They're gonna execute her._

_Better her than me._ How he wished he could take those words back.

"Besides," Leia took his hand in hers. "You don't have the answers."

Han's brow furrowed, "He didn't ask you any questions."

Leia closed her eyes and rolled onto her side, "He didn't have to."

Han sifted through her words. He felt completely lost and out of his league. Low life gangsters like Jabba could be just as ruthless as Darth Vader, but at least they were straight forward.

He sighed, "I thought…I thought I lost you."

"Can't get rid of me that easy."

"I'm serious, Leia," Han traced his finger along the twists of her frayed braided tail. "You died."

"I did."

"He almost didn't bring you back."

"He didn't."

"Then…how?"

"I don't know."

Han lied down and carefully scooted toward her so that his whole body pressed against her. He placed his arm over hers and took her hand in his.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear.

She turned her head and smiled at him, "I know."

Leia then kissed the back of his hand and pulled his arm tight around her. The moment she closed her eyes, she drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she ever had in her life.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20:

**A/N: Vader's flag ship is the Executioner, not the Avenger. Thank you, Haninator, for pointing that out. =)**

The _Executioner_ smoothly exited hyperspace and dropped into Coruscant's atmosphere without a glitch, just as Darth Vader expected. Vader, however, wasn't on the bridge as everyone expected. Instead his was still in his private quarters and had given Admiral Piett a stern order not to disturb him for any reason. Vader had something to take care of, something he put off too long, and it was something he had to do before his boots touched the ground of Coruscant.

Darth Vader had already disassembled the gold encasing of Princess Leia's protocol droid. The exoskeleton of the droid was dented, scratched, and scuffed, but it wasn't the exoskeleton that interested Vader; it was the intricate details of the droid's inner workings. The Sith Lord recognized the craftsmanship and the unique characteristics of the droids construction. He should. It was his work.

The odds of that droid being the one he constructed as a child were phenomenal, especially since nine years old was a very, very long time ago for him. But Vader had no doubts it was his droid. How did Threepio survive this long?

_Threepio. _He was too afraid to say the droid's nickname out loud in fear that the droid's presence would become too real for him. _Threepio. Her protocol droid. Now, in an odd twist of fate, the princess'._

Darth Vader put Threepio's head encasing down and turned his attention to the astromech droid. He couldn't deny it any longer; that little droid was his in another life. Vader was certain that Threepio's memory was wiped. Protocol droids were easily interrogated. It was just a matter of changing the programming. Astromech droids, however, weren't always wiped—unless the owner's secrets were too great. But even then, astromech droids had the ability to keep secrets after a mind wipe if the programmer was skilled and knew what he was doing. If Vader was right, the previous owner of that droid most definitely possessed such skills.

Darth Vader held a gloved hand out toward the droid. His hand slightly shook as he stretched out in the Force. If he continued on now, there was no going back. He closed his eyes, though it wasn't necessary, as he touched the Force with his mind. The astromech droid gurgled and blipped a few times before its dome head swiveled back and forth.

"Artoo…" the Dark Lord tried out that name. _Artoo._

The stout droid failed to calm down, and Vader began to doubt his instincts. Nevertheless, he was alone, and if he foolishly sought answers from a droid, no one was around to witness his moment of weakness.

Vader inhaled, and his respirator quieted for a nanosecond, "T-H-326."

The astromech droid straightened itself, balancing on just two of his legs. He swiveled his dome head to the left and a fuzzy image fought to break through the static. Darth Vader crouched down before the image and willed it to clear.

"How is this possible?" he whispered to himself as he gazed upon the holoprojection of a young couple. He looked up at the droid. "It is you, Artoo."

Artoo beeped and twittered before the holoprojection faded. Vader stood up and put his hands on his hip, "Play that holovid again. Enlarge three-point-twenty meters."

Artoo did as he told without putting up a fight. Darth Vader took a step back to get a better look at the private wedding ceremony on the planet of Naboo. "Padme," he reached out toward the beautiful face of the young bride, _his bride,_ in another life, a life he spent years trying to forget. Her face dispersed and re-assembled when he retracted his hand.

_Why now?_

How Vader would give anything to have his beautiful wife back in his life. The Sith Lord dropped his other fist from his hip. He had sacrificed everything, and he _still_ managed to lose his only love.

The holovid closed in on Padme's face. She was laughing and smiling that smile that was meant only for him. "Freeze," Vader ordered, and the image froze.

The historic data banks were filled with images of Queen Amidala, but none possessed a single likeness to the Padme he had known, loved, and made his wife. Darth Vader never thought he'd lay eyes on his Padme's sweet smile again. If only he could look upon her with his own eyes. Her elated image gazed right into his black orbs, and Vader couldn't help but ponder over what he'd find in her large brown eyes if she gazed upon him as he was now.

_The Emperor saved my life. Would she be happy?_

"Close holovid," Vader ordered.

The Emperor kept him alive, and Darth Vader was grateful to Palpatine for rescuing him after the people he most loved in his life left him to die. The Emperor had taught and nurtured his skills and talent, making Darth Vader the second most powerful sentient being in the galaxy. After most of the grand mofs perished with the Death Star, Darth Vader rose in ranks and was considered the face of the Emperor who remained a recluse. He carried out his Master's will, even if it contradicted his own beliefs. He owed Palpatine-- the only one is this cold galaxy who remained loyal to him-- his life.

The life of a Sith Lord, though, wasn't the life he expected. In fact, it wasn't much of a life at all. But Vader wouldn't say the Jedi's life was any more fulfilling. Both disciplines demanded complete devotion to its ways, which left nothing for the one following such disciplines.

_I should have been able to freely and openly love you, Padme, instead of treating our relationship as a shameful secret. You should have done the same. We owed each other that much. We owed our children…_

_Their children…_ Darth Vader's respiration increased in the slightest rate. Padme wanted to keep a private record of their relationship for their children, long before either of them thought they'd have children. Vader touched the angular chin of his mask as he scrutinized R2-D2. That little droid, once loyal to a fault, held everything that was pure between him and Padme.

Darth Vader sat heavily down on his repulsor chair, "Continue."

Artoo beeped and squeaked as the holovids resumed play. Vader stared at the snippets of his former self with the love of his life. Each short scene left him longing for more. Those holovids of the happy couple thinned into short scenes of Padme speaking to the droid's recording lens. He had left Artoo with her while he was away on missions that did not require the droid's services. He watched her smile, openly laugh, and touch her belly now and then, but those images lacked any sound. Vader leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and supported his chin on his folded hands. His young wife never quite mastered the art of droid-recorded holovids. Had she been alive…had she been his like she was meant to be, he would have been amused. Now, her voiceless projection was just another reminder of all that he had lost.

The holovid darkened and faded, leaving its viewer with a sense of emptiness. Darth Vader rose. Then Artoo twittered and another holovid danced to life. There she was again, his very pregnant wife, but instead of bliss lighting up her face, Padme was crying and pleading with…with Anakin. He studied the young man's face, those red-rimmed yellow eyes. He understood now why he frightened her. Anakin only saw betrayal in Padme's pleading eyes, but Vader wasn't so sure that's what he saw. Then he noticed Obi Wan hovering at the edge of the projection weaving in and out, and Vader's anger swelled to the levels of that of young Anakin that fateful night.

_My wife and my best friend betrayed me. He turned her against me._

Padme's image clutched her throat. Her beautiful brown eyes partially closed, but her plea for mercy slammed hard against his mechanical ears. Her eyebrows peeked into triangles and her mouth silently screamed out the pain of her shattered heart. She reminded him of…

The image abruptly went dark.

The comm clicked, "Lord Vader?"

The armored man bit back his frustration. When the princess was in custody, it wasn't uncommon for things to get unpredictable, "Yes."

"I have the results of the DNA test you requested."

Darth Vader rose from his favorite chair, strode over to the door, and waved his hand. The door silently slid open to reveal a meek stout man holding a flimsy.

"What were your findings?"

"The two samples are closely related. I suspect that they were siblings."

"Siblings? Could they be half-siblings?"

"Definitely not. They share the same parents."

Vader took the flimsy and stared at it without really seeing it. Although he expected the exact results, it didn't dull the initial shock upon hearing the news. He looked up at the man.

"Anyone else know of this test?"

"No, sir. I alone performed it just as you asked."

"And you told no one the results?"

"I didn't even say anything about doing special tests for you. I erased all evidence."

"Very good," Vader praised. Then he raised his hand.

The man's eyes widened then bulged as he hands clawed at his throat. Vader walked away from the door and pressed the comm, "Send two troopers up to retrieve the obstacle in front of my door."

Darth Vader walked back to the door and gazed upon the choking man, "I am satisfied with your work, but it is important that no one, not even you, know that I made the DNA test request."

Vader waved the door shut and returned his attention to the flimsy in his hand. _Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia Organa were siblings. Leia Organa was…_

The Dark Lord of the Sith dropped the flimsy into the incinerator. Just as he turned his attention back the Artoo. The little droid beeped and swiveled his head before the holovid resumed without Vader's command. Vader's mechanical respiration sped up as he watched his beautiful Padme cry in agony while she gave birth to not one but two live babies. One was handed to Obi Wan and the other to Bail Organa.

"No more!" He bellowed at Artoo, but he was certain there was nothing left to see. He had witnessed everything that was pertinent to him.

Darth Vader stood motionless in the middle of his living quarters. He expected to feel rage and anger. Obi Wan and Bail Organa purposely hid his own children from him. His old mentor and friend still managed to betray him even beyond the grave. Vader should have been wrought with anger, but he wasn't. He felt nothing, not even for his newly found daughter. His heart remained cold and emotionless as if it were any other day.

However, Vader's mind churned. He could continue on with his plan to overthrow the Emperor. Palpatine had no idea of the princess' true identity. If he had, he would have taken action against her long ago. Now that Palpatine's greatest threat, Luke—_my son_, was dead, the old man would live on without fear of losing his Empire. If Vader kept the princess in hiding and secretly trained her in the ways of the Sith, it would be that much easier to overthrow the Palpatine and take his rightful place as the Emperor with his daughter at his side as his apprentice. Princess Leia definitely had the anger that would make her a powerful Sith apprentice, and she also possessed the political skill both he and his son did not. She would be a lethal ally and the galaxy would be ruled as Vader saw fit.

Of course, all this hinged on Princess' Leia's cooperation. This little detail could be a huge obstacle, but Darth Vader never shied away from a challenge.

Vader deactivated Artoo and strode out of his quarters. The Emperor would be expecting him and his quarry soon, and Darth Vader had one more thing to take care of before he faced his mentor and soon to be foe.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21:

Princess Leia found her hands shackled to the bench behind Darth Vader. He piloted his shuttle himself, which put the princess at unease. If they were headed to the capital of Coruscant, the destination she expected, the Dark Lord would have a show of Imperial officers, pilots and stormtroopers. Instead, it was just she and Darth Vader.

"Please, tell me if Captain Solo is still alive," she entreated without sounding as if she was begging. She had already demanded and yelled and begged, but Vader remained silent about Han. Leia felt sick to her stomach, and all hope was lost.

The shuttle touched down with a lightness Leia didn't expect. She always figured someone like Vader, encased in cumbersome armor that made him menacing but heavy-footed, couldn't pilot anything so well. It seemed even odder that someone at his level whose place was on the bridge of a Star Destroyer or Death Star would know how to pilot a smaller craft. But everyone had a past.

Leia craned her neck to steal a peek at the scenery that lay outside the canopy, "Where are we?"

Again, Vader remained silent. He removed his restraint and strode toward the princess. She shrank back out of reflex, but he continued on. The Sith Lord disappeared into the dark interior of the shuttle, leaving Leia alone. She pulled against her restraints to test their strength. They held her tight but all restraints had a weakness. She only had to figure out the weak spot of hers. Leia leaned forward, searching for Vader's whereabouts. There was a dim light and she speculated that the shuttle's ramp was open. She chewed her lip. Would Vader leave her alone on the shuttle?

She decided she'd waste no more time trying to work out that puzzle. She surveyed her surroundings. A screw driver lay on the grated floor, and Leia tightly smiled. It wasn't like Vader to make such careless mistakes, but then Vader wasn't acting in his usual fashion. Leia stretched her leg out and tried to touch the screwdriver with her foot. When she failed she slid herself off of the bench as far as her restraints allowed her. To no avail, she still couldn't reach it.

"Why couldn't I be just a few centimeters taller?" she cursed.

Darth Vader's footsteps fell heavy upon the grated floor. Leia sat up and feigned a look of innocence. Vader looked at the wide-eyed girl and then to the screwdriver. He stretched out his hand and the slim tool flew to it. He then handed it to the princess.

Leia stared at his outstretched hand holding the screw driver and narrowed her eyes. When she did nothing, the screw driver gracefully drifted toward her and came to a rest on the bench within her reach.

Princess Leia lifted her chin and straightened her spine. Vader rested his hands on his belt as he waited for a response from her. Her dark eyes shifted toward the tool then darted back to him.

"Perhaps," Darth Vader pulled the screwdriver back to his hand, "Captain Solo would have found a use for this."

Leia clenched her teeth and looked away.

Vader twisted the tool in his hands as if he was studying it, "It's most unfortunate he isn't here."

Leia bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from revealing anything to her greatest enemy. He already knew enough.

"I, however," Vader's booming voice slammed against her, "have no need for such a tool…anymore."

The Sith Lord carelessly dropped the screwdriver and waved his hands. The chain holding Leia secure to the bench dropped to the floor, leaving her hands still bound in stun cuffs but able to stand. The princess stood on shaky feet, and though he never gave the order, she followed Vader through the shuttle and down the ramp.

Leia's head swiveled around as she tried to orientate herself to her surroundings. She hadn't seen the light of day, or the light of dusk as it seemed to be in so long. The air was stale and the sky polluted, but it still was a nice change from the artificial life support of a ship. She focused her attention on the ground. It was rocky and gray as were the scraggly vegetation that surrounded her.

"Where are we?"

"Coruscant."

"I've never seen this part. I never thought…"

"Of course you haven't. Not many people venture this far out of the cities."

Leia stayed quiet for a moment as she walked in Vader's shadow. He continued on a path she could not see and didn't turn around once to check on her. He seemed to have trusted her to follow him. Leia rubbed her nose with the back of one of her bound hands and surveyed her surroundings more carefully. She could run, but to where? She probably wouldn't get far, and if Vader feared she would escape he would be keeping a closer eye on her. Then there was Han. Leia would not leave Han, and since she didn't know anything about his whereabouts or his condition, escape wasn't an option. Leia narrowed her eyes on her monstrous captor. Vader probably knew that.

Darth Vader came to a stop, and Leia moved to stand next to him. Her mouth opened and her breath caught in her throat.

"I thought you should be here for this."

Leia couldn't tear her eyes off of the funeral pyre that held Luke's body. Vader was true to his word, but that did not bring her an ounce of comfort. "Han should be here. And Chewbacca. They were his friends, too."

Vader did not respond. He turned toward her and guided Luke's pendant over Leia's head. Her hands instinctively went to the pendant, and she smoothed the stone between her fingers. She saw Vader make a gesture in her peripheral vision, and the stun cuffs fell from her hands. She looked up at him as she rubbed her wrists, completely bewildered.

"Tell me," Vader's words were slow and careful, "have you ever seen a pendant like this before?"

Leia's brow knitted, unsure if he was baiting her with such an odd question. She ran her bottom lip through her teeth before answering, "Yes."

Vader's mechanical respiration filled the void between the two enemies. He had hoped for more of an answer, but then the princess had never been one to offer an ounce of information to him willingly or unwillingly at that. Since he could read none of her thoughts he decided to continue on assumptions. "You were given one as a child."

Leia's large brown eyes widened and she swallowed down her surprise, "Why is this important?"

"Answer my question."

Leia clamped her mouth shut and clenched her teeth together. Vader expected as much from her. He considered using more forceful tactics to extract the information he sought, but that would affect the outcome he sought. He sighed and felt her confusion.

"There were only two pendants made," he stated. "One is around your neck."

Leia looked down at the pendant. "Luke's father made this for him," she whispered more to herself than to her captor. "General Kenobi said…"

She lifted her face as she felt Darth Vader bristle, "Obi Wan said a lot of things."

"He lied to Luke?" she inquired. That would make more sense. Maybe it was something orphan children were told when given an object said to be from a missing parent.

"Not about the pendant."

_Only two pendants were made…_ The princess gazed upon Luke as if she expected him to untangle her thoughts. She closed her eyes. _I'm in your blood._ A chill ran down her spine, and she pushed down what she knew to be true but so seemingly impossible.

"Where is the pendant you were given?"

Although his volume was barely above a whisper, Vader's voice incited her to jump. Her eyes sought out the pendant, "On Alderaan."

He knew she felt his surprise. He didn't expect that answer to come so easily. But then he was certain she didn't expect to learn what she now fought against.

"It's impossible. He grew up on Tatooine. He's a farmer. I'm a princess and—was a senator," she muttered as her brain churned. She looked up at her enemy, "How?"

Darth Vader turned away from her, taking two steps toward the rugged trees. "Ask Obi Wan," he snorted.

_General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars…_ Leia shook her head. Ben Kenobi didn't meet Luke by accident. She squeezed the pendant so hard that her fingertips turned white. Coincidence didn't figure into the equation. She bit the inside of her cheek so hard she tasted blood. Her life and Luke's had been manipulated by the old Jedi and her adopted father and who else, she didn't know.

"But why?" The words escaped her mouth before Leia could catch them. She smiled mirthlessly to herself. She was asking that monster Darth Vader for the answers. But why should that be any stranger than Luke being her brother?

"It seems obvious that you were not to know the true identity of your biological parents."

"You…" Leia's toes curled in her boots, "you killed my father."

"No," Vader couldn't hide his distaste, "Obi Wan lied to Luke." He turned to look at his son lying on the pyre. "I'm glad I killed him," he muttered to himself. _I'd kill him again if I had the chance._

Then Vader lifted a torch Leia hadn't noticed before. "Say your good-byes." He held the torch near the pyre, giving the girl a substantial amount of time to make her peace.

Leia's eyes misted over as she gazed upon Luke for the last time. All the time they spent together, and neither knew of their true identity. _Luke, her sweetest friend…_ Luke so wanted to know who he was, where he came from, something Leia never wondered about. And now, he lay there dead, and their mutual enemy, the monster who killed _their_ father held all the answers to his questions. She should be the one lying on the pyre. Luke should be the one asking Vader those precious questions. How cruel fate was!

Darth Vader lit the pyre and the two enemies watched the fire as it consumed the boy's body. Leia's mind went blank and numb, and had she the ability to think at the time, she would have wished she stayed in that state for the rest of her life.

But, luck seemed to be her foe. None of this made much sense. "Why are you doing this for Luke? Why do you care about him getting a proper funeral rite? I know you didn't do it for me."

Darth Vader unhooked Luke's light saber from his belt. He studied it for a moment then held it out toward the princess, "This belongs to you."

Leia blinked her eyes as she stared at the hilt of Luke's light saber. _His and her father's light saber given to Luke, now to her by her greatest enemy…_ Darth Vader was handing her a deadly weapon and answers to questions she never asked. She wondered if she was drugged and dreaming. Or being manipulated in a novel way she never expected. She closed her eyes and cursed herself.

In one swift move, Leia snatched the light saber from Vader's hand and had it activated and descending toward the Sith Lord. Vader, taken by surprise, took a step back and activated his own weapon just in time to block her attack. His strength knocked Leia back, and she stumbled a few steps before resuming her attack. With unexpected speed, she swung the saber in precise and deliberate moves that Vader definitely didn't expect from the diminutive politician. He easily blocked her blows as he appreciated her talent for light saber dueling.

Though he found her amateurish but adept offensive skills entertaining, Darth Vader quickly grew bored of playing defense. He lunged at her and forced her to back pedal as he stalked forward swing his blade in deadly arcs. Leia may have lost ground but she parried each blow with more strength than Vader expected. He pushed harder and took pleasure in the fearful look in those haunting brown eyes.

_Her eyes…_ How did he miss it for so many years? Darth Vader knew the girl since she was a child quizzically studying him in his monstrous armor from behind her—Bail Organa's leg. He could see those large dark eyes, _her mother's eyes,_ as plain as the red glow of his light saber. Senator Organa hid her well right under her true father's nose. _Did he know?_ Organa had to know that Anakin Skywalker, Darth Vader, was the girl's father. _Was._

Vader's anger fueled his assault on the daughter stolen from him. The princess surprised him, her anger surpassing his own, as she pirouetted out of his blade's reach and came at him with her own attack that forced Vader back half a step. He couldn't help but smile. Her anger was powerful, and although he still couldn't detect her in the Force, that anger promised to be quite useful to him.

Darth Vader soon tired of the duel. He slashed his blade down upon her. Leia blocked it but the force of the blow knocked her to the ground. Luke's light saber rolled out of her hand and deactivated itself. Vader held the tip of his saber at her throat. The princess stared up at him, and he noticed that her anger replaced the fear in her large brown eyes. She was, indeed, her father's daughter.

The Sith Lord deactivated his light saber and hooked it to his belt. He held out his hand and Luke's light saber flew to his hand. Vader hooked it to his belt as well, "Perhaps I should hang on to this for the time being."

Leia's chest rose and fell. A part of her wished Vader would have killed her. Another part of her couldn't believe she still lived after attacking him. For a moment, her thoughts focused on Han. She wondered what he'd say. Leia's eyes dropped to the pendant lying on her chest and prayed she would have a chance to share her story with him soon. _Please be okay, Han._

"Who taught you how to duel?" Vader broke into her thoughts.

Leia sat up straight, "My father made sure that I was tutored in all the arts of weaponry." Now she understood why. The princess tried to swallow down the bad taste in her mouth.

"Bail Organa _is not_ your father."

The princess gave a start at the fierceness of the Dark Lord's voice. She regained her composure before she spoke. "He's the only father I have known."

"So be it," Vader growled. He began to pace. Then he stopped in front of her. "Bail Organa stole you from your true father."

"What?"

The Sith Lord ignored her question. He paced again, and his hands balled into fists as he thought about the deception perpetrated by his best friend _and_ his wife. In the end, his Padme betrayed him in a way far worse than having relations with Obi Wan, which she probably had. _She died of a broken heart._ Vader shook his head. What foolishness! And he had almost forgiven her.

As he continued to pace, he addressed the princess, "Your father is still alive."

"Anakin Skywalker is alive?" Leia slowly whispered, and her heart pinched as she thought about Luke. _He should be here instead of me._ Leia looked up at the pacing monster. Vader could be lying, but Leia no longer doubted his words so strongly. Why did she want to believe her worst enemy?

_Anakin Skywalker…_

"Did," she paused as she sucked in a breath. "Did he go into hiding during the Jedi Purge like General Kenobi?"

"No," Vader grumbled.

"He wasn't a Jedi?" she asked.

"At one time," he mumbled as his mind traveled to a time he'd rather forget.

Leia intently stared up at Darth Vader without fear or anger, just confusion. She always thought that once one was a Jedi, one was forever a Jedi. "I don't understand," she finally said once she was certain Vader had no intension of elaborating.

Darth Vader once again halted in front of her. Senator Princess Leia Organa, _Leia Skywalker,_ was always quick and intuitive. It bothered him that she failed to use her intuition right now. _She doesn't want to face it._ Would he?

"I am your father," Vader spoke with such tenderness in his voice that he didn't recognize himself.

Vader watched the girl's brow crinkle as she swallowed his revelation and mulled over how much truth his words held.

"No."

Vader sighed, "In time you will come to accept it."

Leia looked down at the pendant around her neck. There was no way she'd ever accept it. She leaned to her side and emptied the contents of her stomach. Leia then grabbed the pendant, tore it from her neck, and threw it as far away from herself as possible.

"Why?" she challenged. "You've tortured me, destroyed my home, have taken everything I loved from me." _Please don't let Han be one of those things._ Why would I believe anything you say?"

"The late Governor Tarkin ordered the destruction of Alderaan."

Leia's eyes narrowed, "You didn't stop him."

Vader thought for a moment about the truth in that statement. He didn't. He had no feelings about the decision that Tarkin made. It was a strategic move, and had his own son not destroyed the Death Star, the galaxy would be orderly and peaceful because no one would want Alderaan's fate to be theirs.

"Alderaan would have been destroyed whether or not you cooperated."

"All those people," Leia lamented, "my father."

"_I_ am your father," Darth Vader yelled, causing the princess to shrink back.

Leia shook her head, "After what you've done to me, I find it too hard to believe."

The Sith Lord turned away and stared at the flames that engulfed his son's body. "You weren't the only one lied to."

"Would that have made a difference?" her voice shook, and Leia fought to contain her emotions. She would not let him see her cry.

"No. What was done to you was necessary."

She inhaled, "Then nothing changes."

The girl was right; nothing changed the ugly truth. Vader couldn't help but wonder if his choices in life would have been different if he had known his children lived. He snorted. The damage had already been done. When Obi Wan left him to die, Anakin Skywalker's fate was sealed.

Darth Vader chose his words carefully, "You can't change the past, but the future is always in motion." When the princess remained silent, Vader continued, "With my help you can overthrow the Emperor."

"Why would you help do that?"

"When you are trained in the ways of the Force, the Sith ways, you will be a powerful and feared foe."

Leia expelled an angry laugh, "Luke's the Jedi." She glared at Vader, "This is what you had planned for Luke. He would have never followed in your twisted path."

Her words stung, and Vader paused to mull over this unfamiliar sensation. He folded his hands behind his back, "That is something we will never know."

Leia found no comfort in the sorrow she detected in his voice.

"Your ability to manipulate the Force has been suppressed. I would have detected the Force within you if it wasn't. You were never meant to be discovered," he surmised. "But Luke…" he thought out loud, "I don't understand why he wasn't protected the same way."

"That's something we'll never know," Leia said, her words dripping with venom.

Vader looked up at her. Everyone who knew was dead. What did they have in mind for his son?

Well, he knew what he had in mind for his daughter. Darth Vader held his hand out to her, but she didn't take it. Leia climbed to her feet and lifted her chin.

"I am offering you what you have fought for your whole life," he dropped his hand.

"And what is that?"

"A galaxy orderly and just. You and I together can rule the galaxy as we see fit."

Leia snorted, "I don't want to rule the galaxy."

"But you want to end the Emperor's reign."

"So you could take his place?"

Vader pushed her question aside, "Only with my help can you defeat the Emperor."

Leia shook her head, "Why don't you just do it on your own?"

"I can only be successful with your help."

"A deal with the devil. It will never happen."

"I may appear to be a devil, but good and bad, right or wrong, it all depends on what side you're on."

"I'm not on your side. And you're not my father."

Darth Vader stretched out his hand, and the stun cuffs flew to him. The princess held her own hands out to him and allowed him to restrain her without a fight.

"You will soon come to accept the truth as I have."

She didn't bother contradicting Darth Vader but not because it was pointless. Leia felt her world shift under her feet. What if that monster's _truth_ ended up being true? She blinked her eyes and suppressed that thought.

_Han…_ Leia needed him more than ever. Her heart pounded hard against her chest and breathing hurt. How could she…_please Han, be alive._ She felt as if she was dying. She had no life without him.

"Han…Tell me," she demanded but her order was weak. She was met with silence. Leia sucked in her breath, ignoring the pain. Her shoulders slouched in defeat. "At least," she whispered, "tell me if he's still alive."

Darth Vader led the princess out of the cold night and into the chilly interior of the shuttle. He spoke no more words to her, and Leia was left to herself forced to endure the thoughts swimming around in her head.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22:

Princess Leia sat with her arms wrapped tight around her legs and her head pressed hard against her knees. She had awoken in a circular room with no visible seams. The overhead lights bore down on her, allowing her no sleep. Not that she could sleep. Not after her encounter with Darth Vader. Leia raised her head a couple of centimeters and dropped it again. If only she could sleep, sleep away Vader's words; sleep away his lies…_what if they aren't lies?_ Leia bit her lip to suppress her doubts. If only she could open her eyes to find herself enveloped in Han's embrace on the _Falcon._

_Please, Han, be okay._ Leia squeezed her eyes shut until she saw stars. She wouldn't let Vader see her cry, and she knew that he had to be observing her. Not crying would have been a lot easier if Han was here. _He could be in a better place. Vader could have released him. Han's no use to him…Han's no use…_ Leia's stomach dropped a million meters inside her. If Han is no use to Vader or the Emperor, he was expendable. A tear slipped from beneath Leia's lashes, slid hot down the side of her nose, and dropped onto Luke's pants. _Please be okay, Han._

Leia had been in this exact position before, trapped in a black-walled cell with unnervingly bright lights, but somehow that experience three years ago didn't seem as hopeless. She never expected to be rescued by her unknown brother and a man who pressed her buttons like no other. That was an unexpected blessing. Leia had expected to die on the Death Star, but she had done all that was in her power for the Rebel Alliance. What was left for her to live for?

Leia sniffed and rubbed her nose with the back of her sleeve without lifting her head. She never felt so tiny and so alone in her entire life. Maybe she wasn't ever meant to have a life, at least not a life of her own. _What did they want me to be? What did they expect me to do?_

Leia found her fencing classes, gymnastic classes, and martial arts classes an enjoyable break from her academic lessons consisting of history, languages, politics, ballroom dance, and etiquette. Leia hadn't given much thought to the combat training in her schedule as she grew up. Other than the firing range—which she hated, those combat classes were the only "play time" she had. It seemed like odd training for a princess and was surprised to learn that even the princes who she associated with from time to time received no such lessons.

The princess squeezed her hands into fists. "I'm not a weapon," she whispered just to reassure herself. "I am not Darth Vader's daughter. My father wanted me to be prepared to fight for freedom, to fight Vader himself if I have to."

That was all, nothing more. Bail Organa was an insightful man. If he hadn't died on Alderaan, both she and her father would have been forced underground, and fancy talk and diplomatic formalities couldn't take the place of knowing how to use a blaster. Bail knew what he was doing.

Her fingernails dug into her palms, and a wispy trail of blood colored her pallid skin. The princess' brain was so addled she wondered why it hadn't yet exploded. _Who am I? Who do I believe?_

The overhead lights buzzed and clicked before the room turned dark. Leia popped her head up and glanced around the room. She blinked her eyes but her eyes didn't adjust to the darkness. Or maybe they had. The walls were black and she was the only thing in the room. She straightened her back and placed her hands on either side of her, preparing for whatever would happen next.

Leia jumped at the sound of twittering. She wanted to yell out but she held her tongue. She would not let whoever just entered her cell know how frightened she truly was. Her eyes were drawn up to the two golden orbs that stared back at her. Leia recognized those eyes, but she feared that those eyes were just another deception she would have to endure.

"Your Highness?"

"Threepio?"

"Yes," the droid's voice sounded both relieved and worried. "Are you hurt?"

_More than I ever have been before._ "No. Do you know where Han is?"

"I'm afraid not. Both Artoo and I have been shut down. I'm not sure how long."

Artoo tweetered. "You haven't?" Threepio sounded surprised. "That seems completely unfair—"

The astromech droid beeped.

"I don't care that life isn't fair!"

Leia smiled to herself. Life. Even her droids understood that justice and fairness did not exist. Why couldn't she?

"Can you get us out of here, Artoo?"

His low pitched emissions needed no translation, though Threepio did, "He's afraid not. We have retraining bolts and the only exit is heavily guarded."

"Figures."

Artoo beeped and twittered.

"What? Darth Vader has a holovid to show Her Highness?"

"What holovid," Leia's voice was flat. When would all this end? Leia blinked her eyes as her sight adjusted to the holovid that began to play.

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Darth Vader stood at the opaque glass with his arms crossed over his chest. His respiration echoed off of the walls of the tiny observation room, and the eerie sound haunted him. It was the first time his own breathing disturbed him. It was the first time he wanted to remove his mask and silently breathe as he once did. And it was the first time he wished he could shed the menacing black armor that kept him alive and incited fear in all who saw him. Vader always reveled in the horrified and frightened looks. It was one of the few pleasures he had left in life. But as Vader watched the girl's large brown glassy eyes reflecting the light of the holovid as she gazed upon who he used to be, being feared didn't seem so pleasurable anymore.

Vader turned away and clasped his hands behind his back. He was what he was, and Palpatine gave him everything he wanted. Well, almost everything. Nevertheless, Palpatine gave him a life when his loved ones only offered him death. Palpatine made him stronger, more powerful than he ever would have been as a Jedi. Vader would always be thankful for that, even when the time came to kill his Master.

The Dark Lord looked over his shoulder at the princess who knelt before the holovid watching her own birth. The room darkened and Vader turned around ready to extract the droids from the circular cell. Then Artoo tweetered and beeped. Vader froze and turned his attention back to the cell.

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"What did he say?" Leia managed to ask in a shaky voice.

"He says that your father," Threepio paused and his shrilly voice dropped an octave. "Senator Organa left a message for you."

"Wha…" she fought to withhold her emotions, "Why didn't you give it to me sooner?" _When I needed it?_

"Artoo says that he was instructed to wait until the time was right."

"Time was right?"

"I'm ever so sorry, Your Highness. I was entirely unaware of the message." The droid glanced at his counterpart. "If I may say so, it was awfully cruel of you to withhold the message from the princess as long as you did. I don't care what you were ordered! And why didn't you tell me I knew you before we served Captain Antilles?"

Artoo tweeted. "What? My memory was wiped? How do you know?" Artoo answered. "Why didn't they wipe yours?"

"Play the message, Artoo," Leia commanded.

An image of Bail Organa shimmered to life, and Leia had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

"Little Leilila," Bail's spoke, and Leia wrapped her arms around her legs. "What I must tell you, well, I had planned to tell you in person. If that was not possible, I have left this message in this R2 unit, the droid that belonged to your…your re—biological father. Since you are watching this, then…I am sorry.

"You never asked about your biological parents, to my great relief. Mind you, I love you as if you were of my own blood, I consider you my own blood, but jealousy of your real parents was not the source of my relief. It was too dangerous for you to know. We—I only kept the secret to protect you and keep you safe. But the time has come for you to know the truth."

Leia inhaled. She wanted to close her ears with her hands, but her hands remained where they were.

"You real mother was Senator Padme Nabriee. She was the youngest Queen of Naboo and a brilliant politician who did everything in her power to protect the freedom of her people and the values of the Republic. Your stubborn streak, fire, and determination reminded me of her. She would be proud of you.

"Your biological father…" Bail's image looked down before his eyes lifted, "was a brave and talented Jedi named Anakin Skywalker. He was referred to as the Chosen One by the Jedi Order and rose to the rank of General during the Clone Wars."

Bail Organa paused, and Leia blinked back her tears.

"To avoid scandal, Padme and Anakin married in secret. The Clone Wars…" Bail shook his head. "It was wrong from the start. Palpatine was a Sith Lord, and Anakin...he chose to follow down Palpatine's path. Your mother tried to stop him, and so did Obi Wan Kenobi. It was too late. Kenobi and Anakin fought, and Anakin was mortally wounded. Kenobi couldn't bring himself to kill him.

"That same night, Padme gave birth to you and your twin brother, Luke. She died after she named you. I adopted you, and your bother was taken to be raised by Anakin's step-brother on Tatooine. I am sorry that you two were separated, but it was just too dangerous…

"We thought we were protecting you from being discovered by the Emperor. However, we soon learned that your biological father was rescued and resurrected as Darth Vader. Please understand, Leilila, it was just too dangerous. You and your brother are the last hope for overthrowing Vader and the Emperor and restoring the Republic. I was never told how, but I made sure you were prepared for what may come in the best way that I could. The fate of the galaxy lies upon your and your brother's shoulders. It's a great burden, and one I wish I could have shouldered for you. Please forgive me. I love you. You will always be my heart."

Leia watched the holovid of her adopted father shimmer and fade away, leaving her in the dark once again. She leaned back against the wall and tried to collect her thoughts, which seemed to be an impossible task at the moment. _A daughter? A weapon? The savior of the galaxy? No brother to help me. I am alone._

"Oh dear," Threepio muttered. Artoo clicked and beeped softly. "Anakin Skywalker was my Maker? That means…Darth Vader is my Maker. Oh dear."

Leia looked up at the droid's golden orbs, the only thing visible in the room. Knowing his origins didn't change her feelings toward the distraught droid, but hearing the distress in his voice cut her like a vibroblade.

Leia dropped her forehead to her knees. She wished that Han was here with her but hoped he had escaped and was safe.

From behind the opaque glass, Darth Vader stared at the girl through his light sensitive orbs. He, the Chosen One who was to bring balance to the Force. His children, the last hope for the galaxy. Vader's large hands balled into fists. Such burdens should be placed on children, and a short-circuited shock of empathy for the girl zapped his gut. Be that as it may, Darth Vader would not hesitate in the least to kill his daughter if she hindered his plans.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23:

"Your Excellency," Vader bowed before the Emperor's image.

"How are your… interrogation sessions with the princess…progressing?"

Darth Vader gazed upon his Master, "I am learning much from her."

The Emperor's image leaned forward, "You suspect that she is Force-sensitive."

Vader's teeth clenched together for the slightest second. Games. That was what the Emperor plays. "Her sensitivity is just a suspicion."

"Just a suspicion?" The Emperor echoed as he leaned back and stared at Vader with his red-rimmed yellow eyes. "Is that why you've held Princess Leia on Coruscant without presenting her to me?"

"I just needed more time to…explore my suspicions," he answered.

A weighty silence filled Vader's office, and the Dark Lord strained to keep his muscles from twitching. The Emperor touched a crooked finger to his mouth. Then he exposed his yellow teeth as he smiled, "Princess Leia…Force-sensitive…"

"If she is, perhaps she could be persuaded to see things our way."

"Ah, yes. She would be a great ally." The Emperor's smile faded. "However, Force-sensitive or not, Princess Leia believes in her cause too much to renounce the rebellion without breaking her. She will not turn so easily, and a broken princess is useless to us." He paused and smacked his lips together, "Your son would have been much easier to manipulate. It is most unfortunate that he died."

Darth Vader's muscles tensed from the blow. "That it is." Vader paused as he shielded his thoughts. Then he sighed, "I have made progress with Princess Leia, more than I had in the past," he bowed his head, hoping that the Emperor would accept that statement at face value. He _had_ made progress with the girl, but he still wasn't sure if that progress was in his favor.

"And you want more time to continue your work?"

"If it is your will, my Master," Vader bowed his head lower.

"I will trust your instincts for now, Vader," the Emperor conceded. "But you will keep me informed of your work. I know I do not have to worry where you are concerned, for without me you would be nothing. However, your recent actions could be interpreted as… defiance by those who serve the Empire. We cannot afford such a rift at this time."

"As you wish," Vader held his submissive position until the Emperor's image faded away. Then he rose to his feet and stormed out of his office.

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Princess Leia fought against the sensation that seemed determined to rouse her from sleep. It had been days, maybe weeks that she was allowed a wink of sleep, and she was reluctant to give it up without a fight. But the hand continued to smooth her hair with the gentlest of touch and she wanted to know who belonged to such a touch.

With eyes still closed and mind hovering between lucidity and sleep, Leia lazily pieced together recent events. The droids, they were who she was with last. Artoo showed her home holovids. _Vader's home holovids._ What happened next? Bright lights and nothing more. From the way she dozed, Leia figured she had been drugged. The hand upon her head, it definitely didn't belong to Threepio. Nor to Vader. That monster could not be capable of such gentleness.

Leia finally forced her eyes open. The dim light of the room and the face before her made her wonder if she was still dreaming. She rubbed her eyes and noted the soft bedding on which she lay. Yes, another cruel dream.

"Hey, Sweetheart," the owner of the voice rested his hand on her forehead.

The princess squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath. _How much more can I take?_

"Leia?"

She opened her eyes and whispered, "Han?"

"You had me worried there for a bit," he smiled at her.

"You worried?"

Leia reached out and pressed her finger against his cheek. He quizzically smiled at her as he caught her hand, "Not the sort of reception I expected." Han kissed her fingers.

"Han," she tried to sit up but found her muscle coordination hindered. "I…I wasn't sure if you were just a dream."

He closed the distance between them and kissed her. Han pulled back to show off his wide grin, "I always knew you dreamt about me."

She narrowed her eyes, "Now I know I'm not dreaming."

"That kiss convince ya'?"

"No. You know better than to open your mouth when you appear in my dreams," she smirked.

"So how often _do_ I appear in your dreams?" he sported a lop-sided grin.

Leia's mood sobered as she ran her hand along the side of his face. "Did they hurt you?"

Han's brow furrowed, "Not a scratch. I take it, you haven't been so lucky."

She shook her head, "Nothing like when you were there."

Han smoothed her cheek with the back of his hand, "I wish I could've changed places with you."

Leia grabbed his wrist hard, "Don't _ever_ wish that."

"Hey," he shook her hand from his. Han then swallowed at the sight of the sheer terror swirling in her beautiful brown eyes. "Leia…what did—"

"Where have they held you?"

"Dunno." Han frowned but left his question unasked. "You?"

"The outskirts of Coruscant," she whispered. "Vader kept his word. He gave Luke a proper funeral rite." Leia gazed into his hazel eyes, "Sorry you weren't there."

"Not my thing," he lied as he carefully lifted Leia's shirt from her stomach and scrutinized her mid-section. Although her pallid skin was still marred by angry bruises, their fierceness had started to fade into sickly yellow and blue stains. He leaned over and placed the softest of kisses upon each reminder of her suffering before sliding her shirt back into place.

"I don't know where else I have been," she lazily said as her eyes fluttered closed.

"Think we're on Coruscant."

"How do you know?" she opened her eyes, and Han held in a sigh of relief that her eyes no longer reflected fear.

"The stink of the air."

Leia spared a small smile for him, "I haven't breathed anything but artificial air since Luke's..."

Han leaned forward and lifted her chin. He gently kissed her, letting his lips linger against her mouth so that he could breathe her in. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Me too." She aggressively kissed him, grabbing his face in her hands. "I was so afraid for you. I was afraid they…"

Han slowed her kisses down by placing feather-light kisses on her lips, chin, and neck. "I don't understand it myself, but I can't say I'm upset about it."

She smiled against his cheek, "Neither am I."

"But he hurt you," Han froze, his lips still resting behind her ear.

The princess closed her eyes, "Just…lies."

Han remained silent, and Leia's hands dropped onto the bed. She said in a trembling voice, "That's how interrogation sessions go. If…I can't be hurt…physically, then lies are…" Leia covered her eyes with her hands and huffed, "He didn't hurt me."

Han gently pried one hand away from her face, "I can see that."

"Leave it alone, _please_," she entreated.

"Luke's your brother," Han kept his volume soft. "That's why he let you be at his funeral pyre."

Leia's exposed eye widened and retracted, "No…I don't know." She dropped her other hand from her eye and turned her head away from him, "Vader can't be trusted."

"But," Han cupped her cheek with his hand and made her look at him, "you believe him."

Her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and Han regretted asking.

"The holovid doesn't--"

Leia shrank away from Han. "Vader…showed you?"

Han shrugged, "A holovid, yes."

The princess slowly pushed herself into a seated position, and Han adjusted his body to accommodate her. Leia crossed her arms over her chest, "There have just been so many lies."

"Whaddya expect from Vader?"

"Not Vader." Leia shivered. "My whole life has been a lie."

"I don't get it," Han frowned and scooted closer to her. "You knew you were adopted."

Leia mirthlessly smirked, "That seems to be the only sliver of truth in a lifetime of lies."

"I think Vader's gettin' to ya'," Han stroked her arm.

"Did," Leia lifted her eyes and lowered her chin to peer into his eyes, "Artoo show you the holovid?"

"Yeah."

"Then you saw the message my fa—adopted father, left me."

Han shook his head, "No."

She loudly exhaled, "What you saw was real. My adopted father confirmed it. I guess it was a message just for me. I don't think even Vader knew about it. Artoo had been holding it until it was the right time." She looked at the smooth black wall across from them, "I guess _now_ was the right time."

"Crappy timing, Artoo."

"My biological father tried to kill my mother, my brother is Luke, and…"

Han's brow furrowed, "And?"

Leia fixed her eyes on him, her voice heavy with contempt, "My biological father takes pleasure in torturing me and blowing up my home. Oh, yeah. I forgot. That was Tarkin's decision, according to him."

Han remained silent, and Leia's stomach gurgled with dread. _Now, I will truly be alone._

"Weird how Luke and you ended up crossing paths."

Leia looked down at her legs, remembering for the first time that she was still wearing her newly-found-and-lost brother's pants. She looked up at Han, "I'm not so sure that was by accident."

"What? It's a Force thing?"

Leia couldn't help but smile, "That's what Luke would say."

Han touched her cheek again before prying one of her arms away from her chest. He brought her finger to his lips and placed a light kiss on them, "And you?"

She gazed upon her fingers still tingling from his kiss. But his touch didn't dispel her anger, "A touch of the Force and a lot of Jedi and political manipulation."

He gave her a small, closed-mouth smile, "He makes a lousy father."

Leia's shoulders relaxed slightly but her guard remained up, "Vader or Bail Organa?"

Han encircled her waist and pulled her close to him. He was about to answer, Vader, but thought better of it. "Doesn't matter where you came from, only what you do."

_I'm not so sure of that._ Leia pressed her body against his and pulled him as close to herself as possible. Her tears began to fall until they flowed freely, running down her cheeks, into her mouth, soaking his shirt.

"Hey, Sweetheart," Han rubbed her back. "It's not the end of the galaxy."

"It might be," she mumbled in between sobs.

"Leia?" Han tried to pull away to get a better look into her face, and she clutched him tighter to herself in response.

"My father said that Luke and I are," she sucked in a breath, "the last hope for overthrowing Vader and the Emperor."

"Oh, Leia," he sighed. "What do they expect you to do?"

"I don't know." The princess whispered, "Maybe Luke knew. I wish…"

"Sweetheart, I doubt Luke knew how to kill Vader or the Emperor any more than you do. And you're _not_ alone."

Once the words slipped from his mouth, Han realized their inadequacy. She shared this legacy with Luke, not him. How could he possibly understand her burden or replace Luke?

But the girl in his arms stilled, and her sobs silenced, and time seemed to stop.

"I love you," Leia finally spoke, her voice just a touch above a whisper, "more…more than you'll ever know."

Han rested his head upon hers and closed his eyes. _More than you'll ever know._ But not more than he loved her. Leia's tears burned through his shirt. Her pain rolled through him like an earthquake, and he braced himself for its onslaught. He closed his eyes and prayed that he had the strength to bear her sorrow and pain, to be all that she needed.

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Darth Vader's hands rested upon his belt as he gazed upon the couple curled upon the bed from behind the one-way glass. The princess clutched the smuggler's arm to herself, and a small smile lit upon her lips as she peacefully slept. Her head rested upon the crook of the smuggler's arm, and his head lied upon the pillow as he fought his desire to sleep so that he could watch her.

The Sith Lord listened to his own respiration. Maybe allowing Captain Solo to rejoin the princess was a mistake. Vader had expected the smuggler to react differently to her true heritage. Horror and repulsion was what expected, not acceptance. Perhaps the man did not understand the full extent of the repercussions of having Skywalker blood coursing through the princess' veins. Still, Princess Leia trusted Solo, and their supposedly private conversation revealed more than Vader anticipated. He could feel the anger and pain from being betrayed by her loved ones radiate through him, causing the nerves he had left to pleasantly tingle.

"Like her mother, she looks."

Vader whirled around, light saber ignited and poised for attack.

"Surprise you, did I?" The small green being looked up at the Dark Lord. "Difficult to do. Must be lost in thought, you are."

"Yoda," Vader lunged at the Jedi Master. "You should be dead. I'll take great pleasure in finishing the job."

Unconcerned that a light saber slashed down upon him, Yoda casually stepped out of its range, "Come to fight you, I did not."

"But fight you will." Vader launched his attack, but Yoda only jumped and flipped and stepped around as if he was dancing instead of avoiding the Sith Lord's red blade.

"I see that machine has slowed you down."

"I'm more powerful now than I ever was," Vader continued his assault. "As Obi Wan learned."

"The fight with you on the Death Star, Obi Wan had no intention of winning," Yoda somersaulted and reached out with his hand.

Darth Vader's light saber deactivated and tumbled to the ground. The Dark Lord did nothing but stare at his weapon.

"Your blood she has," Yoda collected his cane and hobbled up to the glass to gaze upon the princess. "Your heart she does not."

"Why have you come, old Master, when you know it will only lead to your death?" Vader asked as he turned his attention to the small green being that boldly turned his back on him. "Surely, you do not think you can save her."

Yoda glanced over his shoulder at the fallen Jedi, "She is not for me to save."

Vader's dark orbs rested upon the princess, _my daughter._ "Nor for I."

Yoda chuckled, catching Vader's attention, "Save no one, you can."

The Dark Lord clenched his teeth and stretched out his hand. To his surprise, Yoda whipped out his clawed hand, and Vader found himself against the wall. He growled as he regained his balance and stormed towards his old mentor.

"Honorable to try," Yoda sobered. "But your destruction was brought on by your good intentions."

"Destruction?" Vader scoffed. "I am far from destroyed."

"All depends on one's point of view," Yoda raised his brow and gazed hard at Vader. "Too bad your son did not live."

A bolt of anger blinded the Sith Lord for a moment. "The Emperor expressed similar sentiments."

"But our reasons are not the same," Yoda remained quiet until Vader's anger quieted to a summer storm. "Believe in your goodness, your son did."

"There is no goodness in me."

"He-he," Yoda hobbled away from the wall. "No argument there. But your son finds the good in all beings. His gift it was. Save you he would try." Yoda narrowed his eyes as he studied his foe. He waited, once again, as Vader's mind mulled over what he had lost when the son he never knew died. Then Yoda took a step closer to the Dark Lord, "To your daughter, nothing redeemable about you there is. A lesson you taught her well."

Vader's mechanical respiration pressed down upon the room, and a scratchy prick irritated his gut. He reached out and pulled his light saber to him, holding the hilt in his hand. "Which will serve me well."

"Train her in the Sith ways you plan?" Yoda pressed both of his hands on the knob of his cane. "Take her as your apprentice?"

"And have you come here to take her away and train her in the ways of the Jedi so that she could fulfill her destiny as the Chosen One?"

"Train as a Sith or train as a Jedi," Yoda shook his head and side-glanced at the sleeping princess. "That child desires neither. Stubborn and strong-willed."

"Like her mother."

"He-he," Yoda smiled, "_And_ her father." He looked back at Vader's prisoners through the glass. "No one expected less." Yoda sighed, "The Sith ways, the Jedi ways, the Chosen One rejects both. Balance to the Force, perhaps, the Chosen One brings is not in the ways we thought."

"The Chosen One is nothing more than Jedi fodder, old Master," Vader spat.

Yoda closed his mouth and his eyes drifted off to a place only he could see, "Perhaps you are right."

The two enemies turned their attention back to the sleeping prisoners and remained silent. Vader's mind tingled with threads of doubt about the princess. She posed a great challenge to him, and perhaps the risk she posed would not be worth the trouble. Perhaps he should give up his ambitions of overthrowing the Emperor for now, or at least change his course of action so that he did not depend on an unreliable variant, and hand the princess and her companion over to the Emperor.

But she was of his flesh and blood, his and Padme's. This girl _belonged_ to him, and now that he reclaimed what was his, Vader was more than reluctant to let her go.

"Much anger and aggression in this little one," Yoda's comical voice broke into Vader's musings.

"All the easier to teach her how to use the power of the Dark Side."

"Perhaps," Yoda looked up at Vader. "If turn against you she does not."

Vader's respiration hiccupped and he gritted his teeth together.

"Hhmmm," Yoda's eyes narrowed. "Loves her he does. Much like you loved Padme."

"His love does not come even close," Vader growled.

Yoda rubbed his lips together and lifted his chin though his large green eyes remained on the sleeping rebels, "Left with her, you could have. Do as she asked."

"No. I couldn't."

"Then I must question how much you truly loved her," Yoda challenged.

"She betrayed me just like Obi Wan and the Jedi Order!"

Darth Vader ripped his light saber off of his belt and ignited it. The red blade came down on Yoda, and Vader's heart swelled with triumph. That was until he noticed that Yoda remained intact. The Dark Lord stepped back.

"We shall meet again," Yoda promised as his image faded away.

Vader stomped over to where his last nemesis stood. He looked down, feeling foolish, remembering that Yoda managed to sneak up on him, that he never sensed the old Master's presence in the Force the entire time. Was he losing his mind? He looked at the sleeping princess beyond the transparent wall. No, Yoda was there, maybe not physically, but the Jedi was there. And Vader had no doubt that Yoda would return only next time Yoda would try to finish what Obi Wan began at Mustafar.

Darth Vader touched the one-way glass. He needed to find a way to speed up his progress with the princess before that day came.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24:

The first time Han witnessed Leia handle a light saber, he was overwhelmed with shock mingled with a touch of fear. She swung the weapon with a fierce finesse and agility while scowling at her opponent, be that objects that magically floated through the air toward them or battle droids aimed at him. At the same time, the worldly smuggler couldn't help but be impressed and thankful for Leia's just-discovered talent. He had no doubt that Vader truly intended to kill him and if it not for her hidden skills, the Dark Lord would have succeeded ten times over.

Han wasn't certain how many times he was bound and secured to a spot in the middle of another circular room helpless and at the mercy of that monster while Leia was free to move around. Darth Vader always left Luke's light saber centimeters within her reach, and she always glared at it as if it was tainted and not the beloved weapon her brother cherished.

The first time they found themselves in this precarious position, Leia refused to pick up the weapon even though a small version of the Death Star continuously fired at her. When the ball turned its steely eye towards Han, Leia threw herself in front of him and, too Han's horror, she dropped lifeless to the cold floor. The device only stunned her, but from Vader's reaction, Han surmised that she had failed to meet his expectations. And his summations proved right. Every time Leia displeased the Sith Lord, Han writhed and screamed from the electric currents strapped to him until he passed out while Vader held the princess firmly in place by the arm, forcing her to watch him suffer.

It didn't take long for Leia to take up arms against whatever threatened him in that circular room. And each time, Han noticed that her eyes glazed over with rage and her anger screamed out with every agile swing and blow she made with Luke's light saber. After the forced skirmish and Han's torture session if Leia displeased Vader, the rebels were returned to their tiny cell. Leia remained withdrawn and irritated, and when Han tried to comfort her, she used her sharp tongue, lashing out at him with words more hateful and hurtful than anything she had ever said to him in the past. He felt guilty for indirectly forcing her to protect him, yet he couldn't suppress his growing anger at the spiteful change that had overcome her. He began to think that being sold to slaves or death would have been better than to remain here with her.

Han slouched against the wall and glared at the princess who lay curled in a ball in the middle of the room. He wrung his hands together and tapped his left toe against the black floor. He couldn't stand this anymore.

"You're too strong to let Vader win," he blurted out, his voice bouncing off of the walls.

"He already won," she half mumbled, half sighed. "Long before I was born."

Han dragged his hand through his hair, "What's that supposeta mean?"

"Just what I said."

"And if I thought ya made any sense I wouldn't have asked ya' what you meant!"

Leia flinched and Han grimaced. What was happening to them? He pushed his hands against the floor and popped up to his feet. Leia covered her ears as his footfalls clanked toward her. Han stopped centimeters behind her as his hand rubbed his chin. Han slowly inhaled and crouched down. He reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Leia, Sweetheart," Han licked his lips, "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Will ya'…" Han's words faded into a growl. He dropped his head, "Look at me, will ya'?"

"Leave me alone," Leia muttered through clenched teeth.

Han's hand dropped from her shoulder, "Is that what you really want?"

Leia closed her eyes and pulled her arms tight against her chest, _No._

Han gazed upon her before he let himself fall onto his backside. He rested his elbow on his knee and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know what to do. Don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to do or say," she said, keeping her eyes shut. "We're not getting out of this. Vader isn't going to stop until he gets what he wants."

"Didn't expect him to. I just don't understand what he wants."

Leia opened her eyes and stared at the black wall across from her. The overhead lights glared down at them, and Leia could see her reflection in the smooth reflective wall. She barely recognized herself. Her hair, still pulled back in the single braid she wore when they were first captured by Vader, stuck out in unruly strands and lacked the usual luster she manage to maintain while underground. The irregular meals made her bones protrude from her hip and her face thin, and the constant light that prevented her from sleeping for more than just an hour or two only increased the paleness of her skin and the dark circles under her eyes. Leia smiled a closed tight smile at her grotesque reflection. _This is what Vader wants._

The princess' brown eyes then studied Han's reflection, and her stomach flipped once with guilt. He, too, was thin and his face was drawn. The way he carried himself served as a constant reminder of the pain he endured because of her. How could he still care about her? How could he still love her? Leia looked away from the wall. Did he still love her?

She rolled onto her back and caught the transformation from anger to forced concern in Han's countenance. _He can't still love me._ She was Vader's daughter and that monster's blood ran through her veins. Her _father_ tortured Han on a constant basis and forced the smuggler to share the same oppressive cell with her. Her _father_ sold Chewbacca into slavery. Han could have no love left for her.

"Would…would you do," Leia paused and bit her lip. She then inhaled, "anything you had to do to kill the Emperor?"

Han's eyes widened just a touch, but Leia caught it and regretted asking that question.

"Vader wants you to kill the Emperor?"

Leia shook her head, "He just wants my help."

Han ran his hand through his hair, "I don't know how to answer that question."

She rolled back onto her side. "You're a lot of help," she muttered.

"Hey," Han put his hand on her shoulder and forced her onto her back, "not fair, Your Worship."

She gazed up at him without blinking, "Life's not fair, Captain. You should know better than anyone."

Han scowled, "Would you do what I said if I answered your question?"

Her cheek twitched, "I was just asking your opinion."

"And I don't have one."

"And that makes you useless to me."

Han's jaw clenched, and Leia bit back her smile. She pulled her knees up and rested the soles of her boots on the floor. She didn't understand why she took pleasure in hurting him with her words only that it felt good and she wanted to feel good and would do anything to meet that desire.

"Nice," he finally hissed through his teeth.

Leia just stared into his eyes wearing a tight smile. Han stood up and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's about time you told me how you really feel," he stammered. "Maybe you should take up Vader's offer. You two would make a wonderful pair."

"He is my father," she whispered, and her expression softened to something that Han recognized as his hurting Leia.

So she hurt. Han walked away, dropped onto the bed, and threw one arm over his eyes to block out the bright lights. He loved her, and it tore him up inside to sit by and watch helplessly, _uselessly,_ as she suffered. The more Han tried to comfort her, the more she pushed him away. And though he loved her, loved her like no other person or being in his life, there was only so much of her lashing out at him he could take.

"You're right," he broke the silence, and Leia turned her head toward the bed. "Vader's already won."

Leia's head rolled away from him, and she gazed at her reflection in the wall once again. "I know," she whispered, her voice small and child-like.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had been days since Leia spoke to Han. And although she allowed him to stroke her hair or curl up behind her and hold her until she fell asleep after Vader had his fun with them, Han wasn't certain he liked her silence anymore than he liked her harsh words. He spent so long fearing that he'd lose her to death. He never expected to lose her to Vader.

_I wish she was dead._ Han's mind recoiled at the thought. How could he even think that? He rolled over and turned his head toward her. She sat on the bed with him, her body pressed against the curved wall and her legs hugged against her chest. Her large dark eyes pierced his and Han swallowed.

_I wish I were dead, too. Why don't you kill me?_

Han sat up as he pushed his guilt down. There was no way Leia could have known his wish, but the way she looked at him…it was like she knew his thoughts. He shivered.

"Hey," his mouth twitched into a genteel smile, "why don't I fix up your hair?"

"I like it the way it is," her voice was flat but it sounded sweet to Han's starving ears.

"I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it," Han tip-toed, "I just thought—"

"Yes you did. You implied there was something wrong with my hair when you asked to _fix_ it."

"Okay," Han sighed. "I can see how ya' think that. I just…well, I'm bored of just sitting here. Lemme play with your hair."

Han's rigid muscles relaxed as the princess shifted her body so that her back was to him. His hand shook slightly as he reached out and smoothed her hair before becoming confident enough to remove the two clasps that held her tattered tail together. Han then ran his hands through her hair, his clawed fingers scratching against her scalp and untangling the twists that trapped the locks. He smiled to himself as Leia tipped her head back and leaned into his ministrations. Perhaps he hadn't lost her yet.

After an eternity of raking his fingers through Leia's hair, he leaned his mouth close to her ear, "How do you want me to style it?"

"You decide."

"Okay," Han gathered her hair into his hands and bit his bottom lip as he pondered the best style that would allow him to tinker with her hair the longest. Corellian braids. He parted her hair down the middle and pushed one half over her should while he busied himself with the other half.

Leia remained still and her eyes stayed closed as Han performed his work. When he finished he touched her cheek and guided her face toward him. She moved the rest of her body in sync with her head. Han smiled at her, and both of Leia's hands slipped down the tight braids until she reached the tethered ends.

"You like it?"

She smiled, but the sadness remained in her mien. Leia then nodded, "I think so."

"You think so?" Han bellowed and twisted his countenance into mock-hurt.

Leia's smiled widened, "I can't see it. But I do like the way it feels."

"That's good enough for me," Han kissed her forehead.

Leia's fingers moved to the warm spot on her forehead where Han kissed. She shifted to her knees and rested her weight on her hands as she leaned in to him. She pressed her lips against Han's, and his lips pushed back against hers. Han wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer. Leia moved her hands to his face and crushed her body against his.

The cell door zipped open, and the couple broke the connection between their lips yet stayed in each other's embrace as Darth Vader and company strutted into the room. The Dark Lord lifted a hand and pointed a finger which sent several stormtroopers scrambling forward. Two troopers yanked Han and Leia away from each other and onto their feet. Without shackling their prisoners' hands, the Imperial lackeys dragged the rebels out of the cell and followed the tall black figure down the corridor.

Darth Vader led his captives out into the hot afternoon haze. Leia glanced around, noting that they were still in the spindly forest that lied far outside the capital city of Coruscant. She felt her companion stiffen next to her and sensed the course of delight and dread that ran through his blood. She started to turn her head toward Han when her eyes stopped on the object that incited such emotions in him.

There before them rested the _Millennium Falcon_ surrounded by ten AT-ST's, all strategically placed around the ship.

"Captain Solo," Darth Vader commanded the smuggler's attention. "I have a proposition for you."

"I can't imagine it's a good one," Han muttered as he eyed the AT-ST's.

"You might think otherwise, when you hear it."

"What is it?" Han tried to sound nonchalant about the situation but failed miserably.

"You can leave today in your beloved ship. I will give you the location of your Wookie and more than enough credits to buy him back and pay off that lowlife gangster, Jabba the Hutt."

Han felt Leia's large dark eyes upon him. He shifted his weight between his feet, "What's it gonna cost me?"

"Nothing if you take it," Vader rested his fists on his hips and studied the horrified look upon the princess' face.

"If I don't?"

"You'll remain here with the princess and continue to endure the abuse which, I assure you, will get worse."

Leia cringed. The abuse Vader referred to wasn't the torture the Dark Lord put Han through. She suddenly felt lightheaded.

"And," Vader emphasized the word with volume, causing the princess to jump. "If you chose to stay, your ship will be blasted full of holes and scrapped for its parts."

Han swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. "What kinda choice is that?" he finally mustered up enough of his voice to ask.

"Obviously an easy one."

Han ripped his eyes off of his ship and met the Sith Lord's masked gaze. "What'll happen to Leia?"

"I will give her everything she has ever wanted."

_No, no, no!_ Leia silently screamed. "I want Han," she whispered.

Darth Vader took a step closer to her, "But what do you want more? Captain Solo or the end of the Emperor's oppressive rule?"

The princess' dark eyes flicked between Han and her biological father. She had no doubt about what she wanted, but could she put her selfish desires above the needs of the galaxy?

Vader smiled inside his helmet. _But does he want you? Even if he does, does he love you more than his ship?_

The princess whipped her head toward Han, suddenly robbed of her voice. Her eyes pleaded with him, _Please, love me._ But all the entreating and groveling would not guarantee his love. Han looked down at her and Leia knew he was waiting for her to answer Vader's question, but what would it matter if he loved the _Falcon_ more than her?

"Take her back to her cell," Vader ordered, and two stormtroopers closed their fingers around her upper arms and squeezed hard.

Leia tried to dig her heels into the unforgiving dirt, but the stormtroopers overpowered her. Her heart raced and her chest constricted, _Stop!_

Everyone but Vader and the princess remained standing. Leia trembled like the fur of an angry Bothan as her eyes sought out Han's.

"Good, little one," Vader's voice stole away Han's attention. "I knew you would be willing to do anything to get what you want. You would rather your companion suffer than have his freedom, but the choice is not yours."

Both Darth Vader and the princess looked at Han whose mouth hung open and his eyes stretched wide. He sat on the hard ground and his chest rose and fell. Han's fear poured through her, and she recoiled as she realized it was not Vader whom he feared but her. Leia back-pedaled and the stormtroopers reclaimed their captive. The girl allowed the stormtroopers to lead her away from Solo and the Sith Lord.

The princess watched Solo and Vader exchange words, but she was too far to hear what they said. The two enemies approached the ramp of the _Falcon_.

"I love you," Leia called out.

Han glanced over his shoulder at her and then started up the ramp of his beloved ship. Leia's knees weakened and the stormtroopers bore all of her weight as they continued to drag her away.

TO BE CONTINUED…….


End file.
